Does it make sense to get married?

With

Someone here may be able to help with this puzzle. I've been with my partner for 21 years and we've lived together for 10 of them. We have a joint bank account which feeds ISA's and savings which are in our individual names but with access signed for either to make withdrawals. My partner is a taxed at 40% and I'm taxed at the standard rate, we both work and have no children. We are comfortable with this arrangement.

And finally the question: is there a good reason to get married, and wouldn't a will sort out any other difficulties? I'm not at all sure about it, but I have noticed those who marry after being together for so long seem to end up divorced!

I'd appreciate your unbiased opinion on the pro's and con's.

virgin_moneysaver

if it ain't broke, why fix it?!

Feanor

I dont know the exact facts about this, but a couple my parents know who have been together a very very long time and are in their 50;s just got married for pension/tex reasons so maybe there is something in it!

Curious_George_2

With wrote: »

: is there a good reason to get married

well theres one that i can think of, but you dont seem to have mentioned that bit...

sorry, i dont want that to sound nasty but people getting married to better arrange their finances really ticks me off
if your both happy, then why not follow your heart and stay as you are?
if you had any over whelming desire to be wed, you wouldnt be asking... you would just be doing,

you should both make a will (with proper legal help) and continue to not need that bit of paper that you rightly said, gets in the way of a lot of long term relationships like yours, as long as thats what you really want.

With

Feanor wrote: »

I dont know the exact facts about this, but a couple my parents know who have been together a very very long time and are in their 50;s just got married for pension/tex reasons so maybe there is something in it!

I'm the named beneficiary of my partners pension (I've got to arrange that ppfor my pension too!) With me not paying tax at the higher rate, the majority of the savings are in my name.

In response to the cynics I just want to make sure there are no substantial reasons to marry that I may not have thought of.

The main reason for me being concerned at this time is having had a really bad run of luck with health, I don't want there to be any problems in the event of death (though I'm professionally advised it would be a very rare thing for this illness to cause it except through complication). Not so amazing what three emergency trips to hospital, within 12 months, start making you consider!

Errata

As far as the NHS is concerned you're not his next of kin, so they could decide to tell you nothing about his health/diagnosis/treatment etc if he's in hospital and unable to tell you himself for any reason. Some hospitals are more officious about this than others. So that's one benefit of marriage over living together.
For any other benefits - I guess it's an individual thing, but perhaps a cost/benefit analysis and thorough risk assessment might help? As well as considering what the purpose of either living together or marriage is.

Tam_Lin

When we got married, we didn't consider a cost-benefit analysis and thorough risk assessment.

Justie

if you're not going to get married then you may want to get not only a will but to set up advocacy rights for if one of you is ill or incapacitated. I think there are inheritance tax benefits to being married but I wouldn't swear to it. Preparing for what would happen in the event of one of you dying is the easy bit though - if you split without being married then what each of you are entitled to is less clear than if you were married. There are many who poo poo the idea of getting married for practical reasons but I think it's equally as important as for romantic ones - for me I didn't need the bit of paper or a party to show how much I love my OH that hasn't changed from before we got married to now but it does make life easier in so many other ways - just my POV...

Errata

Neither did Paul McCartney

EthelBloggs

I know of a couple who had been together over 40 years but never married, when he died, other relatives came along and took everything and the poor 'wife' was left with nothing, not even a place to live

I guess if you have the legalities sorted out it's ok but if not.. it can be really bad :eek:

With

Justie wrote: »

if you're not going to get married then you may want to get not only a will but to set up advocacy rights for if one of you is ill or incapacitated. I think there are inheritance tax benefits to being married but I wouldn't swear to it. Preparing for what would happen in the event of one of you dying is the easy bit though - if you split without being married then what each of you are entitled to is less clear than if you were married. There are many who poo poo the idea of getting married for practical reasons but I think it's equally as important as for romantic ones - for me I didn't need the bit of paper or a party to show how much I love my OH that hasn't changed from before we got married to now but it does make life easier in so many other ways - just my POV...

I'm very grateful for all of the replies, you've raised things I hadn't considered, especially the advocacy issue. We are going to make an appointment to see a Solicitor, and now I have much more to ask about. I'm with you regarding practical reasons as well as romantic ones for marriage. In all of the years the love we have has never been overshadowed by an urge to marry, conversely we've both agreed that if it makes practical sense it would be done. Which I suppose sounds cold, but I think reasonably minded.