How did you deal with this?

tyllwyd

I grew up in Wales, and in Welsh the feeling is hiraeth.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hiraeth
Part of me knows that I don't want to move back permanently, and that things have changed, and part of me would go in an instant.

pesky85

I live 200 miles away from my friends and family, and in the past I have gone through stages of wanting to move back. I have friends where I live now but none as close as my long-distance friends.

I also have 2 young children which means they don't get to see their extended family very often, and me and OH don't have the luxury of babysitters on tap!

Ultimately I'm happier where I am now, as much as I'd love to see my friends and family more. Fortunately I have the type of relationship with my friends where it doesn't matter how long we go for not speaking, we're still close. As for family, we have daily phone calls / skype sessions with the children.

I do get sad when I have to leave (especially having to leave the seaside!) but I remind myself that when I visit it's not under "normal" circumstances. E.G if I lived there my OH would be at work, my mum wouldn't be waiting on me and my children (lol!), I wouldn't be socialising every single day with my friends and having days out, and my parents wouldn't babysit as readily as they do when we're down for a few days and want to go out for dinner (for example). It's a holiday if you like, so it's bound to seem more romantic than if I was actually to move back.

caeler

I'm the opposite. Moved a 3 hour drive from where I'm from for my OH, got a job and was happy. We split but I stayed. I've been where I am for 10 years and couldn't imagine ever going back. I very much miss my family and friends but I make regular trips home and have learnt how to keep in touch. Good luck, I hope you find a way to be happy.

meames_2

I do understand, I often hanker after home, but realise I am hankering really after the carefree existence, no mortgage, only spent money on clothes, food, petrol (60p a itr!).

I moved to London, met a man, moved back to his home town, luckily I met an amazing group of girls, so when we split up, I didn't move on. I met some one else, he wanted to move to adifferenttown but I didn't want to move again, consequently we split up.

Sometimes ( Sundays at 4pm) I want to be in London, others at home, I even occasionallywanderthe streets of my old town on google street view. Like someone else says, I enjoy history and I am just as interested in the history of this town as my hometown.

It can get easier, so good luck.

a_bit_stuck

Thanks to all for your advice and sharing your experiences. I think I'm beginning to feel a bit better now, it's really helped to properly get out how I've been feeling and hear how so many others have the same thing, and some of the things that have been said have rung very true for me.

trailingspouse

A bit of an off-the-wall suggestion here, but I've found it really therapeutic, and it's given me a real feel for where I 'belong' - have a go at researching your family tree!! I found out, amongst other things, that my family wasn't really from where I thought they were from, but had all moved there from elsewhere at various times. It helped to put a lot of things in perspective, and showed me that I wasn't the only one who'd ever moved away.

mustmakealist

You talk a lot about going back, but you haven't mentioned anything about people visiting you. Would it help if you could invite friends and family to come and visit you? It might make it easier for people to talk about you and where you are living now rather than always talking about you and where you used to live. It might help you settle a bit more if you get to show them around to the area you now call home.

My daughter moved to Australia 4 years ago and until I went to visit her there I used to think about her being back here. Now it is easier to picture her living there.

Goldiegirl

meames wrote: »

I do understand, I often hanker after home, but realise I am hankering really after the carefree existence, no mortgage, only spent money on clothes, food, petrol (60p a itr!).

I moved to London, met a man, moved back to his home town, luckily I met an amazing group of girls, so when we split up, I didn't move on. I met some one else, he wanted to move to adifferenttown but I didn't want to move again, consequently we split up.

Sometimes ( Sundays at 4pm) I want to be in London, others at home, I even occasionallywanderthe streets of my old town on google street view. Like someone else says, I enjoy history and I am just as interested in the history of this town as my hometown.

It can get easier, so good luck.

Re virtual wandering the streets via Google - I do that! Some streets have changed but others are exactly like when I was a kid.

My parents house was up a very small side road, so street view doesn't go up there, so I can't go and look at my parents house, I have to 'stand' at the bottom of the road!

I must admit I would love to know what the current owners of my parents house have done inside. Every so often I check the estate agents sites to see if it's up for sale so I could have a virtual look round.

That's probably a borderline stalkerish thing to admit in public :rotfl::o

a_bit_stuck

mustmakealist wrote: »

You talk a lot about going back, but you haven't mentioned anything about people visiting you. Would it help if you could invite friends and family to come and visit you? It might make it easier for people to talk about you and where you are living now rather than always talking about you and where you used to live. It might help you settle a bit more if you get to show them around to the area you now call home.

My daughter moved to Australia 4 years ago and until I went to visit her there I used to think about her being back here. Now it is easier to picture her living there.

It's not really an option for family to come to me at the moment, I hope some will be able to come to stay with me in future but some will never as probably wouldn't be able to travel that distance. As almost all my family are in the same area it's also a lot easier for me as one person (or me and OH as 2) to travel than about 20 of them! That's one of the things I miss, the big group gatherings as I can't make it back for all of them, birthdays and that sort of thing. There is a vague plan for a couple of friends to potentially come to visit during the summer though and we have also done this before.

Goldiegirl - I would love to know what my parents old house is like inside now too!

pesky85

trailingspouse wrote: »

A bit of an off-the-wall suggestion here, but I've found it really therapeutic, and it's given me a real feel for where I 'belong' - have a go at researching your family tree!! I found out, amongst other things, that my family wasn't really from where I thought they were from, but had all moved there from elsewhere at various times. It helped to put a lot of things in perspective, and showed me that I wasn't the only one who'd ever moved away.

It's also nice to think that you are making a difference to your family tree, and somewhere down the line people might wonder why the family moved to your area