Finding my deceased brothers daughter

hardpressed

So the mother knows that her daughter is due an inheritance but is denying her the opportunity of having it claimed on her behalf, how strange, it's usually the lure of money that brings people out of the woodwork not sending them into hiding.

whitewing

Perhaps the daughter isn't to be told that her adoptive father is not her real father. Sometimes people do odd things for reasons that make sense at the time.

Mojisola

whitewing wrote: »

Perhaps the daughter isn't to be told that her adoptive father is not her real father. Sometimes people do odd things for reasons that make sense at the time.

I hope the mother isn't going to do that. At some point, the daughter will need to produce her BC which she'll find is a Adoption Certificate and, when prem0132 contacts her with news of her inheritance, she'll know for sure who her father was.

For the time being, I would find the marriage certificate to get the new surnamen and then hang fire until the daughter gets old enough to go on Facebook (or whatever's fashionable by then) and make contact that way.

prem0132

thorsoak wrote: »

What name did the mother use to sign the forms? Did she use her new married name?

No she wouldn't sign anything so we went to court to be able to deal with his estate and used the act she had continually ignored us and the court granted us permission to deal with it.

prem0132

hardpressed wrote: »

So the mother knows that her daughter is due an inheritance but is denying her the opportunity of having it claimed on her behalf, how strange, it's usually the lure of money that brings people out of the woodwork not sending them into hiding.

I know but I don't think she realises how much it is.

whitewing

I agree with the others about not giving her the cards and gifts until she is old enough herself. You could also collect up some photos over the years and maybe some memories of your brother and also a sort of who's who within your family with names and potted histories and memories so she can see where she gets certain traits from.

prem0132

Mojisola wrote: »

I hope the mother isn't going to do that. At some point, the daughter will need to produce her BC which she'll find is a Adoption Certificate and, when prem0132 contacts her with news of her inheritance, she'll know for sure who her father was.

For the time being, I would find the marriage certificate to get the new surnamen and then hang fire until the daughter gets old enough to go on Facebook (or whatever's fashionable by then) and make contact that way.

Thanks. I am going to do my best to find out her new name through her mums marriages certificate as was suggested above. Although I am also going to email her mum with the medical information in the hope that even if she refuses to answer me she'll have the information for her if she needs it.

prem0132

Thank you all so much for your responses it has been weighing on my shoulders and Im trying to do the best I can.

Taking on board everything you have all suggested, his daughter will hopefully (once I've been to the offices and found the new marriage certificate) when she's older have an inheritance, memories and gifts from her dad. I've kept all the emails to showing he was trying to get access. Just so she knows he did want to see her.

Once I've sent the medical email to her mum and got the new name I'll hold off for now until she's old enough to be found.

whitewing

I agree with sending the medical info and I would include a digital photo of dad as well with it, if you can.

If you have a valid email address, I would just send an email every six months or so, with a few lines about yourself and saying that you'd love to her how your niece is doing (without any pressure about telling the daughter). Unless they have strongly asked you not to contact.

Things seem a lot less threatening after the passage of time and you may find at some point in the future, mum is more open to keeping in contact from a distance.

Ms_Chocaholic

whitewing wrote: »

Perhaps the daughter isn't to be told that her adoptive father is not her real father. Sometimes people do odd things for reasons that make sense at the time.

Children's Social Care would not undertake a step parent adoption of a child who was not aware of her birth family. They couldn't do it "hush hush" without at least speaking to the child about her birth father.