Mediation in Divorce process.

moonpenny

Has anyone any experience of this? What is the process and does it work?

Solicitors are involved and the mediation is mainly the finances regarding property etc but both parties have reached a stalemate.

My opinion is that both parties would have to compromise but if they won't budge, what happens then? and how much money will it cost?

Tigsteroonie

Mediation is a necessary stage before commencing Financial Proceedings through the courts. Sometimes mediation works, the parties agree, their solicitors can draw up a Consent Order and the court 'rubber-stamps' it. In other cases, mediation fails and legal negotiation begins.

Legal negotiation happens through the court at hearings, and there is substantial documentation to be completed & shared before the first appointment.

Parties can represent themselves (the cheapest option) or can use solicitors (much dearer, obviously).

The 'Wikivorce' website is a good place to find information about the process, they also have a lively and informative discussion forum for follow-up questions. I would suggest that you/your partner (you haven't said which!) take a wander over there.

kingfisherblue

My ex and I had to attend medication as part of our divorce. He said what he was going to get (not what he wanted - he had already decided that he was going to get it!). He refused to budge at all, even though it would have been detrimental to our children. As a result, we had to sort finances through the courts.

We both had to fill in a financial disclosure. My ex failed to fill his in fully before the court date, which did not make him popular with the judge. He also lied on it (put Not Applicable in the sections that asked about disability - our son is disabled). This also did not help his case.

We had a further two court dates, the second for me to provide proof of our son's disabilities and the third for the judge to tell us of his decision - the judge had advised us to try to come to an agreement, but my ex still refused. He wanted the house to be sold and for him to receive the majority or full proceeds at first, although later he said he would let us stay in the house until the youngest reacheed his 16th birthday (even though he will still be in secondary school studying for his GCSEs when that happens).

Although I was worried, the judge gave a ruling that was very favourable towards me and the children, taking into account the fact that our son will never be able to live independently and will always need care.

I know my circumstances are probably different, but what I'm trying to say is that an agreement is probably better for both parties. Once solicitors get involved, more money will have to be paid out, and the outcome might, depending on circumstances, lean more towards one person than the other. From experience, I know that this causes further resentment that can last for many years. My ex definitely resents me for continuing to live in the family home,which has been adapted for our son's disabilities, even though the youngest is still only 13.

I hope that the couple concerned can sort things out without intervention from the courts and/or solicitors. It is likely to be less expensive and reflect more closely what each f them wants, but they will probably both have to compromise.

ellay864

I went through mediation with my now-ex. We both provided financial disclosure and agreed on how things like the house and pensions were going to be split, and arrangements for the kids. We had a few sessions to get us to a point of knowing how the financial split would be and then just intended to present that to a solicitor when it was done. But we were recommended to have a solicitor each as one couldn't be totally neutral and would have to represent one party or the other, though we thought they'd each just be a formality. However his solicitor then challenged stuff in the mediation agreement and tried to convince XH to challenge it. In the end we made one minor change and it did save a huge anmount of time, stress and money than if we'd had 2 solicitors arguing it back and forth

pigpen

I was forced to go too.. complete waste of time.. knobhead flounced out of 2 of the 4 sessions we went to because I kept saying no to his unreasonable demands and kept correcting him about details of our children. He just looked like a fool.

We didn't have anything re finances discussed really it was more about care of the children.. until I asked him to name just 1 of the consultants or therapists they see, when their reviews and appointments are and how often he had ever taken them..

I wanted him to see the children more at sensible times and have them home before bedtime.. nothing else mattered.

It would be much simpler for the 2 of you to sit down and discuss it like grown ups.. but I realise that isn't always possible, especially when 1 party behaves like a petulant child.