Help with budgeting for May?

notanewuser

TDMum wrote: »

I'm sorry I'm not quite understanding what you mean?

Not every bride changes her name. So there are 2 surnames before and after the wedding.

Just because Miss Smith married Mr Jones it doesn't mean they'll both be Joneses.

TDMum

notanewuser wrote: »

Not every bride changes her name. So there are 2 surnames before and after the wedding.

Just because Miss Smith married Mr Jones it doesn't mean they'll both be Joneses.

Two picture frames could be made, or the two names could be incorporated into one frame. It was a mere suggestion to try and help the OP. I don't think it was "a hell of an assumption." That perhaps was worded a bit strongly.

notanewuser

TDMum wrote: »

Two picture frames could be made, or the two names could be incorporated into one frame. It was a mere suggestion to try and help the OP. I don't think it was "a hell of an assumption." That perhaps was worded a bit strongly.

And I said it was a nice idea. It might just be worth checking what will be happening re names, that's all.

falko89

So I have just found out my other half has £100 saved out of a planed £300 she aims to give to her brother for the wedding present. As you can imagine my mouth dropped and of course an argument followed.

I mean £300 and she is adamant she is for giving it, so thats what I have to put up with, there was me thinking £50 was pushing it a bit as thats really all my family would give for a wedding, her mother and father will give the son £1000 and the best bit is they don't work. So the mind boggles really how people do it.

angelpye

Wow! That must be a shock for you. I don't quite know what to say as presumably she is fully aware of your financial situation and that you will struggle with your daughters birthday etc. and that the amount is my estimate 2 weeks wages?

Obviously she has her reasons which has led to this decision but I can see for you it was not expected.

For me £300 is what I have left after bills and mortgage and food. It's what pays for all the extra costs of life I can't imagine handing it over to someone for a gift but then I love handmade gifts and take time to design and make for others. I guess it's just a different mindset, not wrong - no judgement, some of my siblings I am sure would want cash but £50 max unless it was my child.

Hope I don't seem judgemental, people have different attachments to family and viewpoints about money and the value of it. I hope you find a way forward with the other costs coming.

falko89

angelpye wrote: »

Wow! That must be a shock for you. I don't quite know what to say as presumably she is fully aware of your financial situation and that you will struggle with your daughters birthday etc. and that the amount is my estimate 2 weeks wages?

Obviously she has her reasons which has led to this decision but I can see for you it was not expected.

For me £300 is what I have left after bills and mortgage and food. It's what pays for all the extra costs of life and my debt I can't imagine handing it over to someone for a gift but then I love handmade gifts and take time to design and make for others. I guess it's just a different mindset, not wrong - no judgement, some of my siblings I am sure would want cash but £50 max unless it was my child.

Hope I don't seem judgemental, people have different attachments to family and viewpoints about money and the value of it. I hope you find a way forward with the other costs coming.

You have the same mindset as myself. What worries me is how she will obtain the rest of the money, Payday loans etc.

The brother is also well enough off to be able to pay for a £100K house up front with no need for a mortgage.

notanewuser

falko89 wrote: »

So I have just found out my other half has £100 saved out of a planed £300 she aims to give to her brother for the wedding present. As you can imagine my mouth dropped and of course an argument followed.

I mean £300 and she is adamant she is for giving it, so thats what I have to put up with, there was me thinking £50 was pushing it a bit as thats really all my family would give for a wedding, her mother and father will give the son £1000 and the best bit is they don't work. So the mind boggles really how people do it.

That's fine. Let her give what she wants. And when she complains that the car is off the road and you can't get to work and your daughter has no birthday present, you can tell her why!

angelpye

I think then it's about talking and talking until you come to a compromise and agreement. I am guessing a payday loan would have serious consequences ie either too much to pay back leaving you short for food etc or if added to dmp would restart your 6 years from default? I am not clear how it all works but payday loans seem to be a nightmare!

Does she know you are on here? Could you show her the suggestions people have made re gifts etc and compromise? Has she already promised them this money towards wedding costs or honeymoon? Personally I think if you get married and want a honeymoon you should be prepared to pay yourself and any cash gifts are a bonus - but agin a different mindset and I understand many believe in large cash amounts.

Try to stay calm when addressing the issue and have your budget and other celebrations in front of you - you can at least then ask for her solution to the month ahead.

gettingbackontrack

I'm flabbergasted by this (and you seem to be too, OP), having read your previous posts. You have no heating in your house because you can't afford it yet your wife plans to give £300 as a gift?

It sounds as if she's suffering a severe case of keeping up with the joneses. Tell her this - if she carries on like this, you will end up bankrupt.

I hope you can work things out. We all like to give nice things but we have to be able to afford them. Best of luck.

falko89

gettingbackontrack wrote: »

I'm flabbergasted by this (and you seem to be too, OP), having read your previous posts. You have no heating in your house because you can't afford it yet your wife plans to give £300 as a gift?

It sounds as if she's suffering a severe case of keeping up with the joneses. Tell her this - if she carries on like this, you will end up bankrupt.

I hope you can work things out. We all like to give nice things but we have to be able to afford them. Best of luck.

Yep I know, I don't think that would bother her, her priorities are all wrong, but maybe she will see sense.

PS my second name is Jones believe it or not:D