Dear Diary...

Bad_Weather

Just checking in, I am still on the straightish and narrow. Well kind of,well I'm a lot better, lets just say that!

So my brain dump today:

I need to buy some moisturiser AND serum AND eye cream. I do not want toscrimp on my usual quality with the wedding coming up. But aside from that,that will be my only main purchases for this month.

The plus side of this is I have been very good with my purchases…well withthe exception of a Black Friday Timex watch from amazon for £45 quid. And wellmy diamond and saphire wedding necklace AND some Jo Malone perfume....maybe notthat good. The wedding purchase was planned and I was ALWAYS going to get anecklace, the watch and perfume were not and are my Christmas present tomyself. I did actually need perfume, I did not need a watch…

I have managed to climb back down from the moon and REMIND myself that Ihave SOOO much clothes etc and need NOTHING. And if I want to feel better aboutmyself then it is my eating and exercise I need to adjust. SO trying to behealthy the last 5 days and I think I notice a difference already. Not countingany chickens before they have hatched, though. It is only 5 days and I have 3months until the wedding. But I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to lost 1 stone for it.That is the dream.

So to do list - thrifty style:

1) Dye clothes

2) Sew: Work shirt, Jeans, trousers

3) Continue to bin more clothes (I am convinced that things have also descendedinto chaos due to my vast quantities of clothes).

3b) Also been binning all my cheap jewellery. I now also only try and buyreal gold or silver jewellery as the minute I buy cheap stuff as soon as itgoes tarnished I stop wearing it. So, unfortunately for the bank account, I amonly buying really gold and silver jewellery. Been binning all my cheapbracelets that I wear etc with the idea to only be left with only some good Swarovskistuff, real gold or silver and some watches. Also I have been trying reallyhard to put most of my spending on my tesco credit card, so that I will havelots of vouchers and hopefully will be able to do a clubcard exchange and buymyself something nice with them! I have about 3 items on a list already.

4) Put up Christmas tree and try and make house look as Christmassy aspossible on budget. (Not buying decorations when OH and I are planning to moveto Australia). Thinking paper snowflakes and paper chains with Christmaspaper...

Erm, can't think of anything else....

Just really trying to clear out old stuff, and get organised so I actuallyknow all the good and cool stuff I have and wear it!

My good deeds of the week:

I have been giving to the homeless and signed up to get a 12 year old childcarer a Christmas present! x

Bad_Weather

Here I am - sneaking on in work YET AGAIN.

Honeslty been about 6 months since I was properly on this. Hopefully over christmas I will get time to catch up. Starting to feel very out of the loop!

The clearing out continues, and dare I say it, I may move on to makeup. Ive tried to do the cheap makeup but I just cannot get into it. I have a large collection of makeup and was not going to chuck any of it away but my life has just been such an unorganised mess that I really think I need to chuck some of it.

So thinking that I will just until I go abroad move all the cheaper stuff to one side into a toiletry bag, and then it is still there should I decide to use it.

I also think that about 50% of my clothes still need to get chucked. Still sifting through them. Some of it I cannot bear to throw out as they are in good condition - but I don't and probably won't wear them so what does it matter? Need to be more ruthless. Plus my style has changed since I bought them years ago, so just not my style. They need to go.

My friends, even though I TOLD THEM I was no longer doing presents, decided upon a secret santa, only £10 BUT STILL. The email came round late on night and I ignored it and meant to go back saying no do not include me, then 2 days later it was drawn and I have someone.

I got some nice accessorize jewellery for my birthday, a set of earrings, a bracelet and a necklace, so I am thinking of giving the earrings and bracelet as a present.

OH is working away this week so will hopefully get on to catch and and get back into the mix! Also hopefully with some nice progress updates! xx

HeadAboveWater

Hi

You've been doing good and bad ref spending!! lol Have to say though, you do seem to be very good at justifying anything you do spend, regardless of whether it was a want or a need!

Is there any of your 'old' stuff, clothes and/or jewellery, which you could sell on ebay or gumtree or something? Rather than dumping it!!

Bad_Weather

You are so very very correct.

I am good at justifying my spends. Not making excuses, but I feel like this wedding is allowing me (in my head) to make these spends before the wedding THEN I can reign it in. It is like it has been an excuse to spend and I can't see past it.

Honestly, don't see much changing until the wedding passes, stressful enough without worrying about this right now. xx

Bad_Weather

3am and I am still up organising paperwork.

Trying to get some control back into my life!!!!

Chucked some more clothes out (STILL not nearly enough), started working through the bags and bags and bags of statements, and bills etc going back to 2004!

It is refreshing installing a teeny tiny bit of control back into your life, I mean a teeny tiny bit. Here is hoping that I get more done tomorrow.

I had literally about 50 tesco receipts that I have been "meaning to" go and get the points added back, I binned them, starting a fresh. I AM NOT starting new year in the unorganised chaos that has been consuming me for the last 2 years. I do not know where anything is, my appearance is not the same as I just put on what I can find.

Getting back on track! New year is the target, get everything sorted for then! Here is to 2014, the year I get married and hopefully get myself sorted and clear my debt. Starting to realise I am very lucky and letting this consume me is ruining the amazing things I have in my life xx

Bad_Weather

You will all be so so PROUD.

SO I went hair shopping for these side headdress things that people wear on their wedding day.

I had previously looked at ones that were around £200 and some that were even £300/£400.

I vowed that I would buy the one I liked regardless of priced (anyone seeing how i got into debt here?).

ANYWAY. I found 2 that I liked, 2 (FYI this story is not going where you think it is).

Anyway, one of them was £20...£20!!!!!. And the other was in the sale (a sample) from £75 to £30.

One was more blingy than the other and more a nighttime one. So for £50, after humming and hawing, I bought them both.

I'm sorry, I know I bought 2, but at £50 for 2 that is my bargain of the year.

One of them, the £30 one I could probably even wear again, as it is very vintage looking and antique colour! That other one is white and very bridal, could not wear again.

I also was looking at expensive wedding belts, then on saturday I tried on my wedding dress only to realise there is a lace belt attached. WHAT A FOOL AM I. Honeslty was looking at £100 belts, and my dress has a flippin belt on it, or well a lace band on it.

I had purchased some ribbons incase so that is a sunk cost (£5 - I can live with that).

So for once, it has been a super saving weekend.

Got measured for my veil though so going to have to buy that soon, getting a silk cathedral one - so that will make up for my headdress and belt savings!

Got the wedding invites out, invited 20 extra people than our venue can hold, so lets hope that some people cannot make it!!! I feel incredibly lucky that I am able to HOPE that people cannot make my wedding.

You wouldnt know it, but I am actually very nice and fun. I just show my miserable, tight and bitter side on here...


x

Bad_Weather

Still plugging away here!

It is all go with the wedding.

Also trying to get my house into order, slowly but surely getting there. Been organising my paperwork. I think that I have established what my problem is. I tried to separate everything out into polly pockets where when I have these pouch things it seems to work better, so going to try and snaffle some more of the pouches.

Tried on my wedding dress and it was rather "snug" so been exercising like a demon. Starting to feel pretty good, just another 10 weeks go to carry this on for!

OH and I realsie that our already broken christmas tree was now missing a base. So had to buy a new one, got a niceish one for £20 from tesco with built in lights. Result. Not as big as I'd like - I like the big big fat ones with tinsel etc. But if we are planning on moving to Australia there is no point in investing in one of those! £27 spend on decorations this year, as we live in a much MUCH bigger house.

Still go so so much to do. Here is my list:

Order wedding veil
Book afternoon tea (engagement present that runs out soon)
Make wedding glasses
Phone wedding bus company
Phone florist about flowers (changes to BM flowers)
Get wedding hair trial (thankfully booked)
Get makeup trial (thankfully booked)
Apply for wedding licence
Take wedding invites to mums (ASAP)
Get mum xmas present
Get dad xmas present
Wrap secret santa present
Get other charity present
Finish putting paperwork away
Take away backgarden cuttings to council site
Get outfits organised for xmas nights (X3) (as timing is going to be TIGHT so want to be organised.
Enter 3 running races (if i enter I will go and run)
Pack bag for weekend away for wedding in edinburgh
Find Christmas cards that I have already written
Wash shoes - that had mould on them - !!!!!!
Dye clothes - blue and black
Sew jeans


My oh my oh my - lets see how much of this I actually get through before new year!!! xx

Bad_Weather

Are you ready for the biggest rant I have had in a long long time.

Well here goes!!!

WELL Secret Santa - as expected - was a total joke.

Just another way for me to be a MUG. I got, a bottle of red wine and a tiny wee box with 2 chocolates in it. I was not happy. Something you would buy for a stranger and most definitely did not cost £10. I knew who got me it and I knew,that just my luck, that is who I would end up getting. I knew I would spend £10 on someone and not get £10 spend back on me, yet I still participated.

My friend then mentioned that only us 5 would do presents next year and we would cut out our wider group. I told them that I was not doing any presents next year. No-one. Nada. Nobody. NOTHING! The ones who get the great presents every year are the one plugging the present giving. Don't think so.

They were then hyping up their birthdays and big nights out, the ones who were both away for my birthday this year. I told them that I have too many holidays and that I am going abroad next year so I am not going anywhere.

I know I am sounding soooo bitter and honestly I completely am. I admit it, I AM BITTER!!!

I am so fed up with presents and getting the absolute p*ss ripped an I KNOW I bring it on myself by participating in these things. And you are not supposedto give to get blah blah blah. Trust me, I thought I would not get annoyed with a £10 secret santa but I completely have. It was just the icing on the cake this year.

And finally was out for dinner last night, was not drinking (well TAP water), my friends had the £20 bottle of wine EACH. Then they both had a £20 steak, whilst my other mate had died cokes and veggie option and I had tap water and veggie option. My veggie pasta was £10.

This is the cheap friend who got me the wine and obviously upset from my wine I told them that I was not drinking, skint with my wedding and was not paying for them to have the most expensive items on the menu (I said it in a jokey waythough). They took the hint and said that’s fine they would tally it up.

So my meal came to £20 (including tip) and their meals came to £50. Sobasically had I kept my mouth shout I would have been paying an extra £15 for them. I also think they were partly raging that they had to pay £50 for their meal as they are soooo used to us all splitting it equally!!

I don’t think I have ever said anything about a meal, I always split it and used to think that these things even out, but honestly I could not longer holdit in. And it never actually evens out with this bunch, they always always spend more and I always fund it. I could no longer hold it in!!! (clearly by this post).

They will not doubt all be !!!!!ing and moaning about me, but I no longer care. I am not paying for your £20 steaks anymore. You always order the most expensive things when everyone else is paying. You always screw me on rounds, the dearest drinks get ordered when you are not paying! I am fed up!!!

I am not cheap. I donate more than I can afford to charity every month, I signed up for underprivileged families and children gift giving, I give food hampers, I give to the homeless. I just get really really really annoyed at my friends and family who all earn more than me and are sitting in the bought houses and flashy cars being cheap.

Rant over. I am officially DONE!

My sister and her partner have yet to give me my birthday present aswell thisyear so I think I will be saying to them next year that birthdays are scrapped aswell. Or will return the favour of a bottle of wine and see if she gets thehint. You are all getting what you give off of me! I might also add that my sister ASKED for a white gold bracelet for her birthday and got me a bottle of wine in return. Do you see why I am getting really really annoyed anyone? Awhite gold bracelet vs a bottle of wine!!! Next year if they ask for anything Iwill be telling them I no longer buy presents as I get a bottle of wines in return. And I will have no qualms about saying it exactly like that as it is true.

I AM DONE I TELL YOU! FINTO! FINISHED!

Before I have a heart attack I think it is better all-round I no longer participate in present giving! Only give to my parents and then even if I donot get anything back, it is okay, it is my parents!

My other friend, who only does things if she can get something out of it. Is planning on getting engaged in next 6 months (don’t ask), she asked me if I will come back from Australia for her wedding, erm let me think about it, NO. Honesty you would barely do anything for me and you want me to come back from Australia for your wedding. ABSOLUTELY not. The other cheap friend aswell is the same (andhas also been ranted about many many times before) and If she happens to get engaged in the next year I will also not be coming back for her wedding. Why not? As they would NEVER pay that to come back to my wedding, but muggins mewould have before. I would have, ohhh my dear friend, here is £1k on a flight to go to your wedding. NOT NOW. NOT EVER! I have learned the very very hard way.

Do not get me wrong I have good friends aswell, and friends who are sometime great, sometimes with crap. But it is just best all round just to can it and do nothing!

Sorry everyone but I really really really had to get that off my chest! x

Bad_Weather

On another less bitter and positive note.

My hubby to be has submitted job applications through his work for Australia! EXCITING!!!

Now really really really need to knuckle down on the savings!

THINGS JUST GOT REAL! x

please-let-me-be-lucky

I'm with you on the secret santa thing! One year I got a t-shirt in the sale for someone for £12. Limit was £10 but I thought it was worth it for the person as it was a label they loved (remember when fcuk was big?). I got a musical dancing santa in return! I mean, really?!

I do like getting bargains for people's presents, but only to get more for my money. And don't even get me started on people who order expensive stuff and then want to split the bill "equally"!! Nothing worse!

Fab news about the job applications though Xx