Best Estate Agent euphemisms

kwmlondon

I'll kick this one off with one I just saw:

Scope for improvement...

Kastanie

Doesn't mean a lot without any context......

tim123456789

the one that always gets me is:

"good sized double (bedroom)" meaning just large enough to get a double bed in,

when any sensible person thnks that it means "... plus lots of room to move around"

tim

happycamel_2

"Suitable for a young family" turned out to mean one lurid pink bedroom with a glitter painted ceiling and one room with a huge amateur Thomas the Tank engine mural plus baby gate fittings left in lots of doorways.

We didn't buy it.

Better_Days

Round here Haart use the same 'catch phrase' again and again - it is so irritating - some examples:

T-A-R-D-I-S

Life on one level

Gardeners delight

E-X-T-E-N-D-E-D

Is this YOU?

DEFINITELY TOP DRAWER

LOOKS LIKE HOME

ROOM TO GROW

WHEN WILL YOU BE IN [insert name of village]

FAMILY WANTED

LIKE GOLD DUST

I reckon they must have a drop down list and choose what they fancy on the day. Lazy marketing.

ValHaller

Better_Days wrote: »

Round here Haart use the same 'catch phrase' again and again - it is so irritating - some examples:

<snip>

I reckon they must have a drop down list and choose what they fancy on the day. Lazy marketing.

I agree. When we were looking 6 years ago, they were using these quirky descriptions to the point where they put me off even looking at their ads. Even now I shudder at the thought of Haart to the point that the thought that someone would put their house with them causes me to doubt the vendor.

Tancred

kwmlondon wrote: »

I'll kick this one off with one I just saw:

Scope for improvement...

Basically means that it's in a terrible state and needs £30-40k spent on it.

Ivana_Tinkle

Good Lord - are Haart still doing that?! It's cringe-making, isn't it?

My favourite EA phrase is "sea glimpses". It's actually very honest (ie you can just about see the sea if you stand on tiptoes in a particular spot in the garden), but always makes me smile.

Better_Days

ValHaller wrote: »

Even now I shudder at the thought of Haart to the point that the thought that someone would put their house with them causes me to doubt the vendor.

I know exactly what you mean. If I view a house on with Haart I have to bite my tongue if the subject of the EA came up. Why can't vendors see through Haart's spin? I hate their 'hard sell', lack of flexibility and pretending to be something they are not. They insist on only putting a few photos on RM, to 'entice' the potential buyer to a viewing, totally missing the point that people are busy and have better things to do than b*gger around viewing unsuitable properties.

When I had my house for sale with an excellent local independent Haart had the nerve to knock on my door, making derogatory comments about my EA and trying to poach my business. They went on and on about how they had a dedicated sales progressor. When the chain was complete there were 7 properties, 4 with Haart. And it was Haart who put the chain under incredible pressure with their misleading info and total incompetence. Ironically my buyer (who was with Haart) said that my EA gave them more info, and more accurate info than Haart did.

Ahhhh thanks ValHaller and kwmlondon, feel better now

Better_Days

Oh God, it gets worse (from Haart of course)

STOP, CIRCLE, CALL

S-P-A-C-I-O-U-S

S-U-R-P-R-I-S-E

TERRIFIC TERRACE

PRACTICE YOUR DIY

GET IN ON THE GROUND FLOOR

FANTASTIC FIND

MAKE THEM JEALOUS

MAKE US AN OFFER

AMAZING SPACE

SLEEK & SOPHISTICATED

MOVE IN & UNPACK

The inanity of these when selling properties costing thousands and hundreds of thousands of pounds is appalling. Unfortunately Haart believe their own hype.

ValHaller

Better_Days wrote: »

MOVE IN & UNPACK

Is that what is known as a Unique Selling Point?