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Bailey101

If it's that expensive that it would cause hardship, why can't you say no? It would be sad to miss the wedding, but no one can force you to go and the bride and groom are in no position to get an attitude if people need to bow out.

I would get married abroad, but I wouldn't expect people to there as it would be about the bride and groom, no one else.

The_Magnificent_Spoon

I was planning my wedding abroad, for just a handful of very close family and friends. Anybody who was going to struggle financially we were going to decide on lending them the money/paying for part of it. We did it so that there would be as little stress for us, and so we could enjoy our day together to its fullest.

Then we were to hold a reception when we returned home, for everybody else to join us. We did this for everybody else.

Luckily before booking anything major, I figured out the first rule of wedding club... Don't marry a complete b**ch. saved a fortune.

Taadaa

For a variety of reasons.

You can get out of it. Politely explain that in order ro attend their wedding you would have to postpone your own, and as much as you love them and want to be there your own wedding takes priority. If they are arsey about it then pooh to them.

gingin_2

I did, because my husband was born on the other side of the world. It would have been a lopsided wedding, so we went neutral. I didn't want anyone else there but couldn't say no when people did want to come and we had an equal amount of family/ friends from both sides.

clairebear81

Me and my husband got married abroad because we wanted a small wedding that wouldnt cost us the world, we chose somewhere (Greece) that wasnt too far away and wouldnt cost too much to get there. We invited all our family and friends but made it clear that we understood if they couldnt make it due to cost etc. We wasnt being selfish by having it abroad, a wedding is a very personal thing and its each to their own. What would have been selfish is if we insisted everybody came, which is not the case. Im sure if you cannot afford to go the couple would understand. We held a party back home after the wedding for the people that couldnt make the wedding. Hope you get things sorted, just try not to stress about your wedding. Im sure things will work out.

maman

balletshoes wrote: »

Theres no such thing as "no way to get out of attending the wedding" . Even the bride and groom aren't forced to attend .

If its too expensive, don't go, it really is that simple. Unless it was at a time of year and a resort I'd go to anyway on holiday, I wouldn't sacrifice my family holiday or a big chunk of money that could be used for something else I had planned, on going to a family wedding abroad. It just wouldn't be happening (and I did get married abroad, but it was because I was marrying a non-EU citizen and doing it on the cheap).

Taadaa wrote: »

For a variety of reasons.

You can get out of it. Politely explain that in order ro attend their wedding you would have to postpone your own, and as much as you love them and want to be there your own wedding takes priority. If they are arsey about it then pooh to them.

I agree you can get out of it but as it may cause a great deal of hassle within the family you're inclined to go even if it means spending some of your 'wedding' money. That's a bit of selfishness on their part as I'm sure they realise the expense is a problem. It depends if you think it's worth rocking the boat for family harmony as you say this is a close relative.

One compromise would be to have a holiday (separate from wedding guests) at the wedding resort. At least you'd have got more out the expense than just the wedding.

Whattodonow

Thanks all, you have given me something to think about. Need to have a chat with the other half.

BTW I wouldn't mind if it were Greece or Spain, etc, but its the Caribbean

claire16c

I got married abroad because I wanted to get married outside in a garden next to the sea in a place that is also special to us. We also wanted a small wedding which wouldn't have happened here because people get offended if they aren't invited. There was no pressure on people to come & it was somewhere my family goes on holiday anyway. Infact we all went back again last year. We had it videoed which was put online so our friends at home who couldnt come could watch later. We were going to have a party when we got back but didn't bother in the end as most people we wanted to be there came.

My sister is getting married abroad because she's marrying a foreign citizen and England has stupid laws (such as the outside thing but also many many others from the music you can play to the visas) meaning its a massive beauracratic nightmare to do it here, whereas in the grooms country they fill in a licence & they're done.

mountainofdebt

Wow that must have been the fastest posting / deletion

jackomdj

mountainofdebt wrote: »

Wow that must have been the fastest posting / deletion

Also pointless deleting it as it was quoted in post number two - so people like me read it just to see if it was quoted anywhere and what was worth deleting.