Kept in the dark.

Little_Miss_Skint_2

I'm just after a bit of help.

I have just found out that my boyfriend was made bankcrupt in November or December of last year. We have been together for 2 years and have just had a baby son together yet he has managed to keep this from me all this time. I had no idea that he owed anything except for his car loan which I pay for as I use the car as he works away and is only here at weekends.

I found out because I put his letters to one side for him to collect at the weekend and my eldest son opened them. It looks as though most of the debt letters have been going to his dads address and not this one as his dad brought round a stack of unopened letters and I mean a carrier bag full!

I think he's buried his head in the sand again as nothing has been said about anything since and I over heard him saying something to his dad about court being adjourned. He tells me nothing! I'm supposed to be his girlfriend but I always have to find out things second hand.

Could someone please give me some information on what happens when you are made bankcrupt. I'm scared silly of having bailiffs taking all of my things. The house is rented by me and everything in the house has been bought in cash by me and I've worked hard for it all. I've also got my garage full of my mum and dads things as I'm storing them for them as they have relocated due to my Dads job and are living in rented accommodation until they find a house that they want to buy. The last thing I want is for all of their stuff to go too.

Thanks for any replies

wherediditallgo

Hi, & welcome to the forum.

For your OH to have been declared BR, either he will have had to file a BR petition in court or one of his creditors will have decided to make him BR. If he's done it himself, he'll have had to list all his income & outgoings, debts, any assets (vehicle, property, shares, investments etc) & the court will have looked at the info & decided whether he should be asked to pay some money each month towards his creditors over a period of years. He'll be BR for a maximum of a year unless there are unusual circumstances in his case, but his credit file will be worthless for at least 6 years, so he won't be able to get much credit during that time. You can find out more info on the [URL="htttp://www.insolvency.gov.uk"]Insolvency Service[/URL] site.

With regard to bailiffs. Normally, they can come to your home (after going through lengthy legal procedures) & take most things of value from it unless you could prove (by providing receipts or credit agreements) that they don't belong to your OH. However, if he's already been made bankrupt, then a bailiff won't be coming to your home in relation to debts accrued prior to him going bankrupt unless they are secured debts.

I've never heard of BR hearings being adjourned, so what you overheard might be in relation to another court case that has taken place after his BR hearing. If debts are accrued after going BR, they aren't covered by it, so the legal avenues open to creditors will still apply. Sorry you've had such a shock, but you really need to discuss this with him to find out exactly where you stand. Good luck.

jobby_2

This sounds really difficult for you and obviously a huge shock

If he has already gone bankrupt - you are not going to get anyone coming round after personal goods, bailiffs will not come round. Your stuff is your stuff and you can prove that probably by receipts and as the house is rented by you, there should be no problem. But to help you feel more secure perhaps ask your folks to write a letter listing the goods you have in store - I guess if you don't want to say why you could suggest its for insurance purposes

But it sounds like there is a serious need for you guys to talk - until you know what situation he is in, you don't know really how to deal with it and for more appropriate advice to be given -

Sorry not to be more help but I'm sure others will be along shortly

Good luck

wherediditallgo

UltraViolent wrote: »

I don't wish to be mean, or make the situation any more difficult but do you not think that if your boyfriend is so deceptive as to hide this from you then hes probably not going to be trustworthy in other ways?

I should have a long think about whether you want to stay with someone who will probably bring you nothing but misery over the coming years?

It's possible he may bring her misery, but I wouldn't say he probably will. If you read through this forum, you'll find that a lot of people have kept their debt problems hidden from their partners, out of fear & shame. That doesn't make them horrible people or even normally untrustworthy people, just people scared witless about what to do for the best, people who are hoping they can sort things out themselves without worrying their OH or putting the relationship at risk. I personally don't agree with hiding the debt, as they could have to hide it for years or even a lifetime, but I can see why some people think it's the best option for them.

wherediditallgo

UltraViolent wrote: »

He is clearly a fine figure of a man. How can you doubt someone's integrity when all they have done is spend 2 years with someone, knocked her up and continues to hide the fact that hes BR until its discovered.

Lets give the poor lady a bathful of soft soap and tell her what she wants to hear and that it will all be ok. we wouldnt want to be unpopular now would we?

sorry, thats not for me. basically hes a liar and the best thing she can do now is get shut of him because he always will be.

Goodness! I don't know you, so all I can say to this is that I hope you never meet such difficult times that you keep something away from your partner thinking that you're doing the right thing, & then have them dump you & throw away everything else that was good about the relationship because of an error of judgement. None of us are immune from such difficulties, & when you're put in such a position you may find yourself making decisions that you'd never have dreamt you'd have to face.

AlanD_3

UltraViolent wrote: »

He is clearly a fine figure of a man. How can you doubt someone's integrity when all they have done is spend 2 years with someone, knocked her up and continues to hide the fact that hes BR until its discovered.

Lets give the poor lady a bathful of soft soap and tell her what she wants to hear and that it will all be ok. we wouldnt want to be unpopular now would we?

sorry, thats not for me. basically hes a liar and the best thing she can do now is get shut of him because he always will be.

Which is your opinion. It has also been put in an inappropriately aggressive and judgemental way. You could have voiced your opinion without being so aggressive or judgmental. Your post above has absolutely no place on this board. You had made your point earlier and it was rebutted. This is not a relationship board. The OP asked for advice on BR matters not on her love life. While you may have felt it appropriate to voice your opinion a further sarcastic reply was unnecessary.

Do you have experience of debt and BR? Have you been in this situation?

There is an old adage about walking a mile in someoneelse's shoes before judging them.

Debt matters are often very personal. The OP said that they live appart most of the time.

As such they may well live very seperate lives.

Whilst I do not agree with what her OH has done it could well be that he considered it his matter from before the relationship and that he was dealing with it himself and by going BR has done so.

Many people have kept debt matters from their partners because they simply couldn't share the pain. This does not mean they are bad people as often they will be trying to spare their partner's pain and shame in much the same way as many of us got ourselves into these problems by burying our heads in the sand.

I echo other posters' comments that financial matters in a relationship should be open and honest but I do also know how personal and embaressing debt can be.

Please remember we are here to help and not to judge.

Mike_St_Helens

UltraViolent wrote: »

the op is not BR but shw will be if she stays with that loser.

What an aggressive and negative view you have. People are somtimes scared to the brink of death with bankruptcy, how do you know the circumstances of this ?

We are waiting for a troll on the bcsc forum... would love to hear more of your 'sensitive' opinions.

Mike_St_Helens

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: Its our resident troll sloppy !!:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Your grasp of English and the words you use speak masses about you !

wherediditallgo

UltraViolent wrote: »

the op is not BR but shw will be if she stays with that loser.

That is totally unnecessary. The OP asked for advice about bankruptcy, not a critique of her partner or relationship, & as none of us know him, we're not in a position to judge him.

You have already been told that this forum is not about judgement, and the header at the top of the forum says "Pls remember Debt-Free Wannabee's for support and help not judgement". If you have nothing useful to say about bankruptcy, then I respectfully ask that you keep this kind of opinion to yourself. The OP is already dealing with a big enough shock without you adding to her misery.

AlanD_3

UltraViolent wrote: »

the op is not BR but shw will be if she stays with that loser.

A sweeping and untrue statement.

If the OP's OH has gone BR then it could well be the case that his debt problems are now closed. People who go BR will often come through it with a new outlook and avoid getting into that mess again.

Your post above appears to be extremely negative towards those who are BR. This has no place on any board on this site. I have noted other aggressive and judgemental posts from you on other threads too. As such I have asked Abuse to have a look at your posting.

You are entitled to an opinion and to air it. You are, however, required to avoid making sweeping and inaccurate statements and judgementalism is utterly forbidden on these boards.

Please refrain from posting until you have read the rules of this (and indeed all) boards.

You have made your point clear. You did so in your original posting. Please now allow those who wish to advise on BR matters post and cease with the judgemental opinionating.

Mike_St_Helens

UltraViolent wrote: »

you dumbasses! hheetetettete lllloooooooovveeeee mmeeeeeee mikeeeee!

Didnt take long to suss that one out did it .

Sorry LMS that you have had to read that idiots post.