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lost my baby at 23 weeks 6 days pregnant, help with funeral?

as the title says, a few days ago I was told at a routine scan that they couldnt find my baby's heartbeat, I then gave birth to the most perfect little boy.
We have decided that we want to organise the funeral ourselves, the alternative was for the hospital to bury him in a mass unmarked grave, we wouldnt know the date nor the plot, so decided our son was too special for this.
I am just wondering if anyone knows of any financial / help we might be able to get to sort his funeral.
Being born just 29 hours before the 24 week point where he would have got a birth certificate and have been recognised as an actual person rather than just a 'late miscarriage'
My partner is disabled and I am his carer at the moment so we are currently on benefits, my mothers partner has said he will pay for the funeral if we cant find a way to pay the funeral ourselves or to pay him back if he pays it up front.
I just want to give my beautiful little angel the send off he deserves <3
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Comments

  • calcinite
    calcinite Posts: 30 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    I am very sorry for your loss.

    I had a son who was born 13 weeks early who died and when it came to arranging the funeral we did not have to pay for anything as the funeral directors had a free basic package for children. We were restricted to the times that the funeral could be held though. It would be worth you phoning a few funeral directors and see if they do this. We used the Co-Operative if that helps.
  • claire16c
    claire16c Posts: 7,074 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    Im so sorry for your loss. My friend lost a baby at 22 weeks a few months ago and she had a small funeral for her little girl. I dont think that she paid anything, I think it was paid for by the funeral home although Im really sorry I dont know who it was.

    You could possibly try SANDS for information too.
  • thorsoak
    thorsoak Posts: 7,166 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    I'm sorry that I don't have an answer to your question, but I just wanted to let you how sorry I am for your loss, and am thinking of you and your husband at what must be such a sad time for your both xx
  • Person_one
    Person_one Posts: 28,884 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I'm very sorry for your loss.

    Here's some information which may be helpful to you:

    http://www.uk-sands.org/support/when/funerals.html
  • Toto
    Toto Posts: 6,680 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    I too am really sorry for your loss. Do you have a bereavement midwife at your hospital? If so you can tap into her as a resource to help organise the funeral. Sands are, as has been mentioned a really great organisation who will support you through this and beyond.

    If your unit doesn't have a dedicated bereavement midwife you are still under midwifery care and you will be supported. You can speak to your community midwife when she visits or one of the senior midwives at your hospital. They really will want to help.
    :A
    :A
    "Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid" - Albert Einstein
  • df03
    df03 Posts: 218 Forumite
    thank you all for taking the time to reply,

    Im just having a look through the sands website now,

    not sure about a bereavements midwife, will give them a call tomorrow to see.

    calcinite, my O.H had called a family business but they didnt really give any prices over the phone apart from the plot costs, we should go in tomorrow to discuss it, but think I will call the co-operative first, its more or less next door to the other one,
    when you say you didnt have to pay for anything, does that include a plot, cars or etc?
    thanks again x
  • In most areas there is no, or only minimal charge for funerals for babies, there should be a midwife who can give you this info. Or just contact the funeral director, they will, sadly, be used to this and will help.

    Sorry for your loss x
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  • POPPYOSCAR
    POPPYOSCAR Posts: 14,902 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    So sorry for your loss.

    Hope you are ok.
  • madbadrob
    madbadrob Posts: 1,284 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I am so sorry for your loss. When my daughter was still born the funeral cost us £300 but we did want something more than what the free burial would have been. Even the cemetary provided the plot for free. Sands are amazing help at times like this.

    Rob
  • df03
    df03 Posts: 218 Forumite
    we have been quoted £600+ for a single plot and £700+ for a family plot. could I ask what sort of plot you got free?
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