What do I do when the creditor is a friend?

beth3735

Aww i have been following this thread closely and i really do praise you for your strength to be honest with them about your mistakes, and that will be be sorting them all out.

Once they all know thats the hard bit over, then its just making sure you pay them when said I would get in touch with your DMP and definatly make them aware of the amount you owe elsewhere and also the amount you pay them.

I am sure when I did my DMP with CCCS they had a section for money owed to family and how much i paid them. Worth a check. x

ValHaller

Rosey_Future wrote: »

The whole thing was very unpleasant and I feel horrible now.

If I thought I could get credit, I would go and take out a payday loan to pay her back. I would rather owe them than owe her, but I know I cant do that.

Less reason to feel horrible than if you had not spoken to her. As for the payday loans, if you get sucked into that, you'll end up being unable to pay anyone.

At base here you know what is right and you are trying to do it. If you stick by that as your guiding principle, you'll come through this OK. It will only go wrong if you respond to pressure either direct or implied to do something to make the pressure go away.

hereigoagain22

Put your actual SOA up and the SOA you use for your DMP and we'll have a look and see where we can make cuts?

On the bright side of all this: you have learnt your lesson (I hope!!)

I would probably pay back the work colleagues first (as those are jeopardising your job), then the least understanding people. Unless there is someone you think who really needs the cash.

YoungBusinessman

One thing you shouldn't do is look back and keep regretting it. It's a learning curve, one day this will be a memory and you will be grateful for this forum for helping you out the situation you find yourself in. Things will improve, you just need to help them along.

A family member is owe me just shy of 2 grand. Bearing in mind I'm 21 and have my own mortgage, bills and work loans to pay, they havnt spoke to me since nor made any effort to raise any money for going towards it. Really grinds my gears! If it was £50 and a work mate who had done me no wrong and admitted to being in hard times, I would write it off.

Rosey_Future

ValHaller wrote: »

you know what is right and you are trying to do it. If you stick by that as your guiding principle, you'll come through this OK. It will only go wrong if you respond to pressure either direct or implied to do something to make the pressure go away.

Thanks to all of you for keeping me strong. As I said in previous parts of this thread, the main reason I am in so much debt is because of fear and pressure. I didnt deal with it correctly from day one so its just escalated as I borrowed money to pay back money. Then borrowed more money to pay that back. Worse problem is I used payday loans to do it so there is the added interest payments on top. I have made myself a promise that I will not incur one more penny worth of debt and am going to work really hard on clearing what I have.

Right now I feel I have no self worth. I feel like a nobody. I cry every day. If going through this process means one day I will not feel like this, then it will be worth it.

HeadAboveWater

*hug*

This feeling will not last forever. Guaranteed! You're already well on your way out of that dark tunnel and heading for the light!!

Stay strong!!

poppasmurf_bewdley

The above post is correct.

I had my black period about 14 years ago now, but it is still very much in my mind, and it affects everything I do when it comes to money. I just thank God that there was no such things as Payday Loans when I was in trouble.

You will get over it, and look back at it all as I do now. Keep working at it and it will come right.

Good luck!

worried48

There are plenty of people out there who simply do not understand the concept of having no money, and therefore do not understand that there are people who have no money. A lesson to those in work perhaps - don't put people under any pressure to feel they have to spend money if they haven't got it.

Rosey_Future

worried48 wrote: »

There are plenty of people out there who simply do not understand the concept of having no money, and therefore do not understand that there are people who have no money. A lesson to those in work perhaps - don't put people under any pressure to feel they have to spend money if they haven't got it.

Here here! Don't force people to spend a set amount of money on birthday presents, leaving presents, maternity presents at work. I have lost count of how many times I have been told to give £10 for some thing or another... (and they always do it 2 days before payday just to make it worse)

Rosey_Future

Ok me again. This thread is getting a lot of views which shows me that many others are in the same position as i am currently in, so I will keep you informed on how its going with the friends meetings.

At lunchtime today I had meeting no 7. (only a couple more to go)

I have now dropped the self pity and the tears. So this is what i said - "I wanted to speak to you about the £xx that I owe you. First, I want to let you know that I really appreciate you helping me when i needed it. I need to be honest with you and let you know that I have been having some financial difficulties which I am working hard to resolve and have taken advice on how to deal with it. I have not forgotten I owe you and I would appreciate if you would allow me a little more time to pay you back. I can pay you back on xx date if thats ok with you. If I am able to pay you sooner I will, but I dont want to make any false promises"

She was lovely about it and said I can pay her in two installments over two months.

All the meetings should be done by Wednesday.

I am now going to do the SOA that I found a link to on this site. Do I need to post it or can it be seen in my profile.