Real-life MMD: I've won a £100 vch - must I pay for my friends?

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Former_MSE_Darryl
Former_MSE_Darryl Posts: 210 Forumite
edited 9 April 2013 at 3:54PM in MoneySaving polls
Money Moral Dilemma: I've won a £100 vch - must I pay for my friends?

I've won a £100 restaurant voucher, and have invited two friends to dine with me. I'm having financial problems at the moment, so is it OK to ask my friends to pay their share to me in cash, while I use the voucher to pay? Or should I just pay the first £100 and then let them split anything above that?
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  • Pmarmalade
    Pmarmalade Posts: 175 Forumite
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    Oh that's a tough one.

    I personally wouldn't feel right charging friends for something I got for free. I'd have to disclose that I had the voucher from the offset and am willing to treat them up to the value of £100 if they want to cover the excess/tip if we go over.

    If I really needed the money that much I would try to sell the voucher (ebay, Gumtree etc.) for a % of its face value.
  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 33,017 Forumite
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    I wouldn't ask them to pay - if you're inviting someone out with you because you've won something it wouldn't feel right to me to then ask them for money. Its just not what friends do, and it's a bit of a cheek. Plus if it's a dearer restaurant, it is somewhere they'd choose/afford to go themselves?
    I'd go out, enjoy the treat, check with them first if they're ok to pay anything over £100 as long as it's not silly money, and have a good time out with my friends. Of course if they wanted to buy me a drink or two, I wouldn't say no.
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  • Sian1991
    Sian1991 Posts: 1 Newbie
    edited 10 April 2013 at 2:32AM
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    Tricky one!

    I think it depends on what expectations they have to be honest. If they're already expecting to have to pay for their share of the meal then I don't see why giving the money to you should be a problem - it won't be costing them personally any more than they're already expecting to pay and they'd be helping a friend out too in doing so. The fact that the voucher was free to you personally shouldn't matter because it has monetary value in the restaurant - you'd still be paying your share. Of course, if the meal was over £100 in total that would make things harder to work out!

    On the other hand, if their expectation is that you're treating them with the voucher, I personally wouldn't feel right asking them to pay if the total was under £100 and it wasn't costing you personally. If it was over that amount, then offering the £100 and splitting the excess equally between you is perfectly reasonable. This is something that you'd definitely be best, however, establishing before you go, so you all know where you stand. If they offer any objection to that, I would mention your situation and the fact you'd still be contributing more than your share of the bill. I'm sure they'd be understanding about it.

    Hope that helps a bit!
  • happyinflorida
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    Well how have you asked them to dine with you? What information have you given them?! Grrrrr - why don't people give more information?!

    Did you tell them about the voucher?

    You're not going to be popular if you ask them to pay and you've got a voucher unless they know you're broke and that you need the money and they are used to you being like this and accept you for it.
  • svmitche
    svmitche Posts: 592 Forumite
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    I have done this with friends in the past, and we always split any discount between us. Eg my friend is a student, so gets student rate for theatre tickets, so we split the total cost between us, so each pays a bit less.

    I would contribute the £100, then anything spent above that should be split equally between the three of you.

    If you are having money problems, then sell the voucher and go out with your friends somewhere cheaper that you can all afford.
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  • sparky0138
    sparky0138 Posts: 487 Forumite
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    Either share it with your friends or as svmitche suggested, sell it and go somewhere cheaper you can all afford.
  • klakierro
    klakierro Posts: 50 Forumite
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    svmitche wrote: »
    I have done this with friends in the past, and we always split any discount between us. Eg my friend is a student, so gets student rate for theatre tickets, so we split the total cost between us, so each pays a bit less.

    I would contribute the £100, then anything spent above that should be split equally between the three of you.

    If you are having money problems, then sell the voucher and go out with your friends somewhere cheaper that you can all afford.

    I feel that the student discounts are given to students - because we don't work. I don't understand why your friends splits his/her discount with you guys? If you are not students, you don't get a discount. Simple.

    Sorry for this slight offtop, I think either sell the voucher or tell your friends to pay anything above £100 - you are already treating them to that amount so I don't see why you would have to contribute to the amount above £100.
  • robpw2
    robpw2 Posts: 14,044 Forumite
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    im afraid we would all pay seperarlty im not being mean or harsh but , i would pay for my meal and they cn pay for theres , no one should expect a free meal


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  • elliep_2
    elliep_2 Posts: 711 Forumite
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    It depends entirely on what you've already told your friends. If you said 'I've won a voucher so let's all go out to (expensive restaurant) for a nice meal' Then you should put in the £100 and share any extra between the three of you. If you've discussed it beforehand then you could arrange for them to split any extra just between the two of them.
    If what you said to them was more along the lines of 'I feel like going for a nice meal at (expensive restaurant), would you like to join me' then they were expecting to pay and you might get away with taking their cash and paying with the voucher. Personally I wouldn't feel comfortable with that though as I'd be worried they would somehow find out later and be upset.

    You could try telling them about the voucher but then explaining about your financial situation and asking them to contribute half the cost of their meal? i.e. you each spend £30, with tip you decide to pay the restaurant £100 so they each give you £15 and you hand over your voucher. You go home with £30 you didn't start with, your friends get a £30 meal for £15, there aren't any secrets and everyone is happy? (of course that's using very simplified numbers and I don't know how to deal with any extra over the £100 bill)
  • bekki0405_2
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    robpw2 wrote: »
    im afraid we would all pay seperarlty im not being mean or harsh but , i would pay for my meal and they cn pay for theres , no one should expect a free meal

    I don't think the point here is that the friends are expecting to get a free meal, but that this person has invited them out to this specific place as that's where her voucher is for, and thinks maybe its ok for her to use her voucher for herself, whilst her friends pay the full price of their meal.
    I would put yourself in their place, and imagine how you would feel if the situation was reversed. If you feel that you would be happy paying for you meal, whilst one of the friends used a voucher just for her, then maybe your friends will be ok too.
    Me personally, I would feel a bit cross, as I would think its a but rude to have invited me out and then used the £100 just for themselves. Added to the fact that £100 restaurant voucher suggests that it will pay for a group meal, not just a single meal.
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