following on from the having children thread!

red_devil

I was talking to someone the other day who said her friends son and his wife not only dont want children but they dont like being around them.

His sisters have children and they rarely join in when the family gets together. I found that hard to understand. I can understand not wanting children but i thought abit odd not to be around your siblings.

What happens when the children are not children anymore do they strike up a relationship then or not when they havent had much to do with them as children??????

heartbreak_star

I'm not that keen on very young kids (under...5 maybe?) and I can't stand babies and will avoid these wherever possible. I won't babysit unless it's an emergency, and if there's a "big day out" I will sometimes politely decline if it's just going to be centred round the kids.

However, I understand that my friends have children, and will never deliberately avoid them for it. That just seems...rude. I do remind my friends that they aren't just "X's mum or dad" though, and try to get them out for drinks with the grown-ups now and again. Most have thanked me for this

HBS x

browneyedbazzi

As someone who wants to have kids, I completely understand why people who don't want them also may not want to be around them -children often dominate social gatherings (ie I have a group of friends and any activities with them have to revolve around the kids' nap/meal timetable, then most of the conversation ends up being about what little jimmy did) and their behaviour (whining, crying, running about etc) can spoil the enjoyment of others.

I don't think it's right to cut of relationships with siblings or family members simply because you don't want to be around young children, but I can understand not wanting to with them constantly.

Fuzzy_Duck

I don't like being around kids either but I'd like to think I'd make a bit of effort if they were my nieces or nephews. I suppose it depends on the kids though. If they were little horrors I probably wouldn't have much tolerance for them, and I'd have no issue with telling my siblings that their kids do my head in.

Incidentally I would show more interest in them the older they got. I have no interest in babies and young kids but around age 5 I'd be happy enough to engage with them.

It sounds really mean but some people simply find kids dull (as well as some of the parents who only ever talk about their kids!) so I can kind of see why they want to keep out of it all.

FBaby

Children are noisy and messy and demanding and dirty!!! For most, this is balanced by the fact that they are cute and fun, and lovable, but not for all.

I love my kids, but the older they get, the more I find I can't wait to get away from my friends' toddlers!

marisco_2

How old are the children you speak of OP? I have aunts and uncles who wanted little to do with myself and my siblings when we were really little. At that stage they had not had my cousins and were not use to being around the noise, fun and chaos that comes with young children.

As I got older and could hold conversations with them and join in with more interesting activities, they began to form relationships with me. My uncle is an archaeologist and would happily spend a Saturday taking my siblings and I to museums. He brought things to life and was very interesting to spend time with.

As an adult I have reasonably close relationships with them. We see each other at family gatherings and get on well. I have had several nice holidays at one aunt and uncles home down in Cornwall over the years and we get on famously.

I make an effort to mix with family and friends who have young children. I love being around children though, have two of my own, work as a teacher and find it natural and easy to be in their company. They make me laugh and I enjoy nothing more than spending an afternoon watching them play and seeing the world through their eyes for a bit. It is not that way for everyone though and that is fair enough.

**professor~yaffle**

In Britain we are not a child-friendly nation, as a general rule. We're more keen on our 4-legged friends!

Odette

I don't have anything to do with kids in my family or outside of my family for that matter. I will avoid children and babies actively. I am a 27yo woman and have had mixed reactions about this as you can imagine! I wouldn't cut ties with someone who had kids though but I wouldn't necessary go out of my way to see them with the kids ie. during the daytime.

pigpen

Other peoples children are unpleasant. I have 10 I love very much but go out of my way to avoid other peoples children. I hate the assumption that because I have children I must like all children.. I don't like all adults so why would I like all children?

pigpen

**professor~yaffle** wrote: »

In Britain we are not a child-friendly nation, as a general rule. We're more keen on our 4-legged friends!

Like rats and mice

Odette

pigpen wrote: »

Other peoples children are unpleasant. I have 10 I love very much but go out of my way to avoid other peoples children.

Wow, 10 children :eek: you must be a very patient person!