New here, feels like confessional :-(

dizzy_lizzie

Just wanted to say Hi and well done for your decision. Keep going and everyday you're getting closer to being debt free. Think positive even when you don't feel it because you've a lot to feel proud about. You could have carried on as you were and you didn't so well done. Make it a challenge rather than a chore and set yourself little achievable goals to boost yourself up,there are lots of things like this on the board such as grocery challenges etc. Continued good luck to you.

blackangeluk

Hello again

Still feeling a little down, I suppose that the falls after the highs. Had day off today and took my best friend to Christies. She has terminal cancer and it is emotionally very difficult to deal with. Normally we get lunch afterwards (and I offer to pay) but today I was honest and said I couldn't afford it. Ended up a friend of ours met us later and unwittingly treated us without knowing we were skint (Barrister, v wealthy, therefore don't feel guilty), so I had a free lunch and spent 0p today.

Have e-mailed our financial advisor and asked him for cheaper policies to cover everything in one instead of the many we have, have cancelled two of the policies which has saved about £40 - £50 pr month as well.

My friend and I have a separate business which is just taking off and so we are at an exhibition tomorrow. I always drive without question, so today I have asked her to drive and we are taking a packed lunch and a flask, so with any luck we will spend nothing tomorrow as well. DH is doing the shopping and knows the budget is £40 - £50, he has less of a sweet tooth than me so he will stick to it!

I am thinking very very differently to a week ago, assessing anything and so far it turns out I really don't need to spend money and just to be honest about it with people. My quote is "we have so much going out this month we need to tighten our belts".

Have raided the fridge and after thinking there was nothing to eat I have found some chicken and noodles so I'm going to do a stirfry which the kids love.

My total spend this week is £80.30 and £54.40 of that is meal with parents and babysitter for it, and £2.82 for postage for things I have sold on Amazon. Also spent £4 on ice cream van on Monday before realisation set in, so really I only needed to have spent £19.08 - that is a huge huge achievement and I have sacrified some evenings out to make up for this. This is well within my budget.

i am tonight going on Martin's Budget and putting in all my direct debits and setting a sensible budget and even intend to buy car tax stamps every month.

Thanks for all the encouraging posts, they have helped me more than you can ever imagine.

:beer:

dizzy_lizzie

So sorry to hear about your friend, no wonder you're feeling down. Don't really know what else to say but will send out special thoughts for her.
Sometimes when things like that happen it makes us realise what is important in our lives. x

Ytaya

It really is an amazing moment when you realise how much you spend needlessly, isn't it? Keep it up, you've done so well already :T

Bimble_2

blackangeluk wrote: »

Feel very less sick now, just been for a run with my best friend and decided to fess up to her - she was fab, very supportive and made me feel so much more positive.

Welcome Blackangel!

Just wanted to mention this.
I was panicking about telling my best friend, but I knew sharing it with her would help me.

We sat at my table with a cup of tea and I plucked up the courage to tell her.. I waited for her reaction with my eyes shut, and she burst into tears! telling me how relieved she was, because she had been dying to tell me about HER debt.. which is higher than mine!

So now with all our cards on the table, we can support eachother through this too. :T

Bimble_2

blackangeluk wrote: »

Am fed up tonight though, DH has got angry about my mess and now is making me feeling like c**p, I completely understand why he is angry and I am accepting everything he has said, but it is just making me feel 10x ashamed than I already do about the mess I am in.


Have a bottle of wine in fridge, will sample that instead of spending.

Did I miss something? Hasnt he done any of this spending then? How come its all your fault?



:: gets back down off soap box ::

Ps Im not knocking your over spending, my debt is 38G from living outside my means too, but this is certainly not all your fault

blackangeluk

Thank you Bimble! At least you can support each other and that makes a huge difference.

I have now told another friend, well I e-mailed her as I currently have a tendency to cry when I tell anyone - most unattractive look with make up running! My other friend was ace too, telling me she was proud of me for admitting it all and she will help me through, she will be my statement checker so I know I have got someone double checking me.

I really really think I can do it this time, I'm already sorting out how much money I have this weekend and how little I can spend. I'm doing the Manchester Run to raise money for my friend on Sunday morning (approx £3k so far :T ) so will just drive there and back, nothing to spend and then Girls Aloud at night (not sure whether I'm proud or ashamed of that - it's for my sister's b'day). I'm getting sweets for DD to take there instead of buying them there and I'm not driving but will contribute to car park.

How sad is it that I'm sorting out mentally what I'm going to spend and avoid spending money!

But i love it here!

blackangeluk

Bimble wrote: »

Did I miss something? Hasnt he done any of this spending then? How come its all your fault?



:: gets back down off soap box ::

Ps Im not knocking your over spending, my debt is 38G from living outside my means too, but this is certainly not all your fault

Thank you, I know you're not knocking me. He has asked me many times if we're ok for money and I just say yes as I find money and saying no an emotional hurdle. I take responsibility for lying to him and saying everything is ok when it's not, but he does have to take some blame. Our problems really started when we bought our current house, I had a loan he didn't know about. We couldn't really afford the house, he said we could manage.....here we are.

As is life.......

blackangeluk

:rotfl:

I have been on the fantastic MSE Budget Planner (did I say I love this site?) and have put everything into the planner, and I mean all the bits I don't normally count, hair cuts, leg wax, school dinners, car tax and have a figure after all those and food and all bills we have £443.70 per month to live on. Considering the amount we earn it isn't huge but considering the amount of debt I can pay off it is fantastic and manageable.

Have also checked out our mortgage which has been stressing me. Currently with the Halifax, fixed rate ends in Oct 07. Have decided to change to another deal for a 2 years fixed period but paying interest only and will cost me £280 less than I am paying now. By staying with the Halifax it means no additional fees which is the last thing I need right now. I can then pay my debt off at £780 a month instead, increasing to £1100 in Sept 07 (DS starts school and leave nursery :j ), which means my DFD is even better. By the time debts are paid off we can then reduce our mortgage to 15 years and pay far more than we are now.

I have totted up we are paying £234 in payment insurance/life insurance etc which is shocking and I have decided to visit the insurance broker instead of e-mailing.

Also reluctantly decided to stop the £20 per month to the children's baby bond and resume it when we are debt free. I'm sure they will benefit in the long term from us having no debts than us putting £20 a month away and struggling...is this really cruel.

Best news is we have Sky+ and Sky have announced they are axing the £10 a month charge - so savings made straightaway.

I cannot believe it, the relief is immeasurable.

So my May 2007 resolutions are:-

1) Stick to budget
2) Any money left over every week goes in our huge whiskey jar, we have holiday booked and paid for but need spending money, do not intend to get into debt for spending money.
3) Have one social night per month and put away £10 from our weekly budget for this
4) STOP living beyond my means
5) Never leave for work without my packed lunch

Off to finish a bottle of wine now, I feel ace.

Cheers to you all, have a fab weekend :beer:

aliroo

Blackangeluk

can I just say, I think you are amazing. you have sorted all of your money sitch out and can now see light at the end of the tunnel.

Just think...............you could get a career out of sorting out finances, wanna start with me?

Honestly though, well done to you and don't feel down if your DH is having a moan, thats a man thing!!!

keep up the good work.