We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.

This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.

📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
The Forum now has a brand new text editor, adding a bunch of handy features to use when creating posts. Read more in our how-to guide

he has taken her kids!

Please help really need some advice, I don't really know where to start but here it goes my sister has had post-natal depression for about 6 months maybe even longer, and a few weeks ago (3 weeks at most) my sisters husband suggested it would be a good idea for the children (there are 2) to stay at his mothers for a couple of days so my sister could have a break! The day the children were due to be returned my sister got mumps and as its dangerous to be around an infant they stayed with the grandparents for a while longer during this my sisters husband decided he wanted a trial separation! With the intention of getting back together then all of a sudden yesterday he decided that he no longer wanted to be with my sister and she had 2 options either she agrees to letting the children stay with the grandparents indefinitly or that he would take her to court and make sure she never see's them again! She has tried talking to him again today to ask to meet up so they can sort things out but he says he will let her know when he is free! (He doesn't work so has plenty of free time) and its tearing her apart she doesn't want this to get nasty because the children are her priority but I can't see this going any other way surely it can't be healthy for the children of which one is under 8 months to be away from their mother for such a long time? They have also got the poilce and social services involved because they think she would snatch them back but my sister isn't like that! It wouldn't be fair on the children its breaking my heart not being able to see them so it must be killing my sister Any advice or information would be greatly appreciated
«134

Comments

  • Dunroamin
    Dunroamin Posts: 16,908 Forumite
    Does the husband also live with his parents?
  • Kayalana99
    Kayalana99 Posts: 3,626 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker I've been Money Tipped!
    edited 2 April 2013 at 3:32PM
    Gonna say same, I *think* he is allowed to take his children (and then she would have to seek court action for them to be returned) but his grand parents arent legal guardians so pretty sure she can get a police escourt to return them if he is not actally living thier.

    Don't take my word on it tho :( Good luck xxx

    Edit: If not already she should see a doctor about this post natal depression, if it goes to court(which sounds likey!) he may use this saying she is not capule of looking after the kids - I dont belive any court would take her kids of her because she has post natal but by seeing a doctor and getting meds/help it would mean he hasnt got a leg to stand on!
    People don't know what they want until you show them.
  • gizmo111
    gizmo111 Posts: 2,672 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Has she spoke to a solicitor?
    Mama read so much about the dangers of drinking alcohol and eating chocolate that she immediately gave up reading.
  • gizmo111
    gizmo111 Posts: 2,672 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    she had 2 options either she agrees to letting the children stay with the grandparents indefinitly or that he would take her to court and make sure she never see's them again!

    Why does he think they ar4e better off with the GP's? Has she spoke to them about this?
    A court would not agree to no contact.
    Mama read so much about the dangers of drinking alcohol and eating chocolate that she immediately gave up reading.
  • podperson
    podperson Posts: 3,125 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 1,000 Posts
    It sounds like she needs to speak to a solicitor asap. Many will give a free half hour or she could try her local CAB as they will often have details on free legal clinics if she is worried about finances. She may be able to apply for a residency order - especially if she has been the children's main caregiver and if their father has moved out and therefore doesn't currently have a stable home for them (is he staying with the grandparents?)
    As far as I am aware the police will not get involved on either of their sides - so they won't help her get them back if they are classed as being with the dad but neither will they do anything to stop her if she does take them back.
  • No he lives in a flat, my sisters flat! And he thinks they are better off with the GP because he says he couldn't take care of them on his own! She tried talking to his mother but she has obviously taken her sons side, my sister is worried about talking to a solicitor incase it turns nasty she just wants her children back
  • heartbreak_star
    heartbreak_star Posts: 8,287 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Rampant Recycler
    Please help really need some advice, I don't really know where to start but here it goes.

    My sister has had post-natal depression for about 6 months maybe even longer, and a few weeks ago (3 weeks at most) my sisters husband suggested it would be a good idea for the children (there are 2) to stay at his mothers for a couple of days so my sister could have a break!

    The day the children were due to be returned my sister got mumps and as its dangerous to be around an infant they stayed with the grandparents for a while longer during this my sisters husband decided he wanted a trial separation! With the intention of getting back together

    Then all of a sudden yesterday he decided that he no longer wanted to be with my sister and she had 2 options either she agrees to letting the children stay with the grandparents indefinitly or that he would take her to court and make sure she never see's them again!

    She has tried talking to him again today to ask to meet up so they can sort things out but he says he will let her know when he is free! (He doesn't work so has plenty of free time) and its tearing her apart

    She doesn't want this to get nasty because the children are her priority but I can't see this going any other way surely it can't be healthy for the children of which one is under 8 months to be away from their mother for such a long time? They have also got the poilce and social services involved because they think she would snatch them back but my sister isn't like that!

    It wouldn't be fair on the children its breaking my heart not being able to see them so it must be killing my sister. Any advice or information would be greatly appreciated

    Not meaning to be a pain but I've broken that down into paragraphs so it's easier to read.

    Maybe her first port of call should be a solicitor - and if I was her I'd be making my own statements to police and social services.

    HBS x
    "I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another."

    "It's easy to know what you're against, quite another to know what you're for."

    #Bremainer
  • gizmo111
    gizmo111 Posts: 2,672 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    No he lives in a flat, my sisters flat! And he thinks they are better off with the GP because he says he couldn't take care of them on his own! She tried talking to his mother but she has obviously taken her sons side, my sister is worried about talking to a solicitor incase it turns nasty she just wants her children back

    So are they still living together?
    Mama read so much about the dangers of drinking alcohol and eating chocolate that she immediately gave up reading.
  • Kayalana99
    Kayalana99 Posts: 3,626 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker I've been Money Tipped!
    No he lives in a flat, my sisters flat! And he thinks they are better off with the GP because he says he couldn't take care of them on his own! She tried talking to his mother but she has obviously taken her sons side, my sister is worried about talking to a solicitor incase it turns nasty she just wants her children back

    She needs to talk to a solicitor and get SS invovled. Tell her if she doesnt she is basicly giving her kids up. The father and GP have refused to hand them back and it would not be easy to just go and get them (Although legally the GP's aren't guardians so they don't have a leg to stand on if she does!!)

    She needs to realise she has to take action if she wants her kids back. This isn't time to worry it might get nasty!!!
    People don't know what they want until you show them.
  • gizmo111 wrote: »
    So are they still living together?

    No she has been staying at my mums for the past week he said he wanted the flat
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 354.2K Banking & Borrowing
  • 254.3K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 455.3K Spending & Discounts
  • 247.2K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 603.8K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 178.4K Life & Family
  • 261.3K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16.1K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.7K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.