Friendships and starting secondary school

bestpud

kjmtidea wrote: »

Yes I would ask for them to be split up, it sounds like she would do a lot better by herself and starting secondary school is the perfect opportunity to make new friends.
She would still see this friend at break/lunch time, the secondary school my son is going to also do pe with the whole year group once a week so maybe they do something like that too?

It's a very large school so they could end up never sharing a lesson if in the other half of the year group, if that makes sense?

susancs

If it is like my children's secondary school they sit children in alphabetical surname order in year 7, so they won't get a chance to sit together for lessons (unless they have surnames that are very alike). If they want to be in the same form I would put that on the form you have been given and leave it up to the Secondary school then. Also the Primary school send in a report on each child so you may find on the basis of that that they may not be in the same form anyway.

bestpud

susancs wrote: »

If it is like my children's secondary school they sit children in alphabetical surname order in year 7, so they won't get a chance to sit together for lessons (unless they have surnames that are very alike). If they want to be in the same form I would put that on the form you have been given and leave it up to the Secondary school then. Also the Primary school send in a report on each child so you may find on the basis of that that they may not be in the same form anyway.

If they did that then I'd be less concerned tbh.

It would be good for her to have a good friend with her to start with, to help find their way around and for the company.

However, they aren't good sitting by each other and they'd be together an awful lot.

I wish it was like my secondary school and the tutor group went their separate ways after registration.

If in a different tutor group, their paths may not cross at all.

It feels like it's all or nothing somehow.

They have asked all parents to name one or two children they want to be with and one or two they may not work well with.

The friend has named my daughter as someone she wants to be with.

ETA: I see what you mean now - that the primary school may say they are best apart.

mrcow

I'm a secondary school teacher and have yet to teach a KS3 lesson where I have not had the kids in a seating plan of my choice.

If anyone talks out of turn regularly, then the seating plan gets adjusted accordingly.

Let her be in the same class as her friend. They'll soon get separated if they aren't working well together.

bestpud

mrcow wrote: »

I'm a secondary school teacher and have yet to teach a KS3 lesson where I have not had the kids in a seating plan of my choice.

If anyone talks out of turn regularly, then the seating plan gets adjusted accordingly.

Let her be in the same class as her friend. They'll soon get separated if they aren't working well together.

That's good to know, thank you!

mrcow

Also, if there are any lessons that you are particularly concerned about, a quick note or phone call to the teacher will have the girls separated in the blink of an eye. It's no bother to move someone in class at any stage of the year.

The girls won't even know it's you, they'll just think the teacher has moved them off their own bat.

peachyprice

Yes, did and yes I would again.

I asked for my DD to be separated form two girls, one who made her life a misery when she joined junior school and continued to bully her throughout years 4,5 and 6, and the other who is one of her best friends but has upset my DD on so many occasions for various reasons and has some very forward ideas for an 11/12 yo that my DD just doesn't relate to.

My DD hasn't looked back since she's been at secondary school, she has some lovely new friends, girls that have a similar outlook to her, this is the happiest I've seen her in years.

The bully is in a completely different half of the year and never shares any classes with DD, her old bestie shares a few classes, they're still friends but not as close as they were.

bestpud

peachyprice wrote: »

Yes, did and yes I would again.

I asked for my DD to be separated form two girls, one who made her life a misery when she joined junior school and continued to bully her throughout years 4,5 and 6, and the other who is one of her best friends but has upset my DD on so many occasions for various reasons and has some very forward ideas for an 11/12 yo that my DD just doesn't relate to.

My DD hasn't looked back since she's been at secondary school, she has some lovely new friends, girls that have a similar outlook to her, this is the happiest I've seen her in years.

The bully is in a completely different half of the year and never shares any classes with DD, her old bestie shares a few classes, they're still friends but not as close as they were.

I think they will go their separate ways with time anyway to be honest as they have very different interests.

Threebabes

When my DD (now Yr8) went into the comp i asked for her not to be put with her friend. She was bossy and overbearing. DD now has a new set of friends. It took a while but shes settled in well.

Prepare yourself for the !!!!!iness. Girls can be awful to each other.

SuzieSue

kjmtidea wrote: »

Yes I would ask for them to be split up, it sounds like she would do a lot better by herself and starting secondary school is the perfect opportunity to make new friends.

I agree with this. It will be much easier for your dd to make friends if she doesn't have her bf in the same class. If her bf is disruptive then the serious children will also avoid your dd and so it will be difficult for her to make like-minded friends. Also, your dd will be tarred with the same brush by the teachers if she is friends with a disruptive pupil and first impressions are very hard to shake off.

My sister was split up from her disruptive bf and although it was upsetting for her when she found out, it was the best thing for her as she ended up making great new friends and eventually became head girl.