how can i have a life while im a dfw?

dianadors

Be good to yourself and stop beating yourself up. You need to look for all the free stuff that is out there to be had. I regularly take my friends out to the cinema for free (apply for free tickets from the freebies board) - current freebie is https://www.seefilmfirst.com - enter code wedding. My mates think this is great! I recently took my sis for a free spa day - I took all the family to watch car racing for the weekend last year, and also took all 4 of us out for a free meal at a new restaurant. All these things I got from the freebies board, and they didnt cost a penny. I also get the kids to look for the best days out we can have for free. At weekends, we pack a picnic and go for lovely long walks in the countryside - we have discovered some great places and seen some lovely things - all for free. All the family now love looking for the best "Free" things in life - and we are having much much more fun than when we were spenders and skint.

SortingIt_2

Afternoon Shamu

How are you feeling today?

Aj_eye

I know whow you feel but I also appreciate where you OH is coming from ....

Before I started on the DFW lifestyle I really had to sell it to my wife....don't get me wrong she fully supports the road we're going down, but I know at times she wishes I wasn't so militant about getting out of debt...

Economists will tell you a little debt is ok...but my philosophy is ...as long as you're in any kind of debt...you are a slave to the creditor.... the only difference is you're not in shackles!!!

Anyway back to the point..... I suggest you find 1 day where you guys hang out like a family....It will give you a rest from debt busting and also let your OH know you really do care and love him....(i'm assuming you still do):rolleyes:

By the way DramaQ, I belive the correct quotation is "The LOVE of money is the root os all evil..."

shamu95

Hi sorting it. Still feeling a bit down about things. not helped that one of my old bosses phoned last night and said i was silly nd should go bankcrupt. told him i had my pride and so he says he'll buy me a great big bottle of champagne if i do reach my debt free status.
am going to now attempt to do my revised soa. i have my tissues at the ready as i know im just gonna end up in tears again.
also yes my family and friends know my situation.'best friend' text last night and said i need to stop working so much and make time for him. i feel like im in a lose lose situation yet again.
thanks guys for listening

SortingIt_2

Hi there,

Keep smiling :-)

Think of today, now as a start to new beginnings - try and be as positive as possible (I know it is hard) and we'll all be here along the way with you. If it helps I had a second LBM, my first time round I thought I was going to really go at it but I didn't and my second time round recently and I am going from strength to strength. Debt is depressing so it is bound to take its toll on you especially as you are working SO hard. I think it is justified for a little time for you and your family. Try and plan a nice evening or day when you are both free (do you think OH will be up for this) maybe cook a nice dinner or just hire a dvd or something like that, some time to chill and try not to think about/mention the debt. I know that is one thing that used to drive my OH insane, that conversations no matter what always ended up back to money - its hard not too (I know!) as it is constantly on our minds but I now take a step back and think before I speak if that makes sense??

Good luck with the SOA - I am looking forward to reading it and hopefully helping.

Just a couple of quick questions....

Do you keep a spending diary?
Are your finances joint or do you have separate?
Do you work every day etc opposite to your partner etc or are you both at home in evenings?
Do you keep house up together or is OH good and help out etc?

Sorry so many questions just trying to get an idea of your time etc- it sounds to me like you don't have any!!

Keep posting! xxx

shamu95

Hi just posted soa. oh and i have friday and sat nites together and sunday day. however he will go out one of the nights and we taking it in turns to work sundays to help work out at the moment. All house things are joint the rest totally seperate. Oh does hoovering and dusting and always cooks kids tea as im at work.
I dont have a spending diary as i do not spend!!! everyone finds that hard to believe but i dont need to now- my meal is provided at work as are drinks etc and i dont have time to go round the shops etc and if i need bread or anything it goes onto shopping budget which is recorded. For clothes etc my grandparents generally get for me and kids essentials they get for b-days and xmas