advice needed son has residency what rights does his ex have

devoted_nanny

Hi
To cut a long story short my son has been granted residency of his 2 children
due to mothers lies and neglect of the children for a long time( social workers are involved)
the judge made a contact order for her in a contact centre( she is refusing to go to a contact centre at the moment)
she has PR but has just rang up saying about my son taking children to see her extended family saying she has a right to say who her children see
when i spoke to the social worker about her extended family she said my son has residency its up to him what he does as his got residency
we allow the maternal grandparents an hours contact a week in our home agreed by social worker and said none of the family can be trusted so cant take them out as theres been lies and threats towards my son
as she has PR what does he need to let her know i thought its just health schools but i might be wrong
also can she keep ringing us up telling my son what to do
my son has agreed to take children to the centre for contact but social worker(SW) said as shes refusing to go he dont need to take them until she agrees to go so we just wait to hear from SW, im a bit worried though in case my son gets i trouble by law by not going down to the contact centre

advice needed please

daska

No, she can't and she shouldn't be ringing making demands.

The mother can apply to the Court for a variation to the Contact Order. The mother's family can apply to the Court for right to apply to the Court for contact (yes, it's that complicated), but as it stands none of them have the right to contact except the mother and that will not be until complies with or gets a new Contact Order.

Your son has a residency order and a contact order which clearly implies that the mother cannot be trusted. In practice we used to take DSD to see her extended family and arranged telephone contact. It's considered the resident parent's duty to try to promote contact. But the primary concern has to be the children's safety.

If their mother has informed him that she won't be attending the contact centre then there is no need for him to take the children there. Has she put this in writing or stated it to the SW? If not in writing then it's entirely possible that she might turn up despite telling him otherwise and then complain when he's not there. I would suggest that he let his solicitor know what she's said so that a request can be made of her solicitor for her to confirm exactly when she attends so that the children aren't distressed by her not turning up.

This is always assuming that the contact centre has actually been booked? If not then it's a complete waste of time worrying about it.

verysillyguy06

devoted_nanny wrote: »

Hi
To cut a long story short my son has been granted residency of his 2 children
due to mothers lies and neglect of the children for a long time( social workers are involved)
the judge made a contact order for her in a contact centre( she is refusing to go to a contact centre at the moment)
she has PR but has just rang up saying about my son taking children to see her extended family saying she has a right to say who her children see
when i spoke to the social worker about her extended family she said my son has residency its up to him what he does as his got residency
we allow the maternal grandparents an hours contact a week in our home agreed by social worker and said none of the family can be trusted so cant take them out as theres been lies and threats towards my son
as she has PR what does he need to let her know i thought its just health schools but i might be wrong
also can she keep ringing us up telling my son what to do
my son has agreed to take children to the centre for contact but social worker(SW) said as shes refusing to go he dont need to take them until she agrees to go so we just wait to hear from SW, im a bit worried though in case my son gets i trouble by law by not going down to the contact centre

advice needed please

Always a difficult situation on all levels and emotionally challenging. Your son needs to talk to the children's' social worker but he would not get into trouble for not taking them down to the contact centre as it sounds like there is not contact agreement set up.

He cannot just take the children without a proper arrangement as this would not be in the best interest of the children. He should make attempts to provide her the information about the health/school but if it causes arguments or let's relatives have potential chances to just go and see the children, he does not need to do this but needs to discuss with the social worker as each situation is slightly different.

Good luck

devoted_nanny

Hi
Thanks for the reply
There is a court order regarding her contact and the judge said 2 mornings in a contact centre
the mother at the moment is refusing to go so the SW said until she agrees to go no need to take them
Court order dont say anything about her extended family just hers

The children were removed from her care before the full hearing so have already been living with my son. he has let her know about health appoitments although she dont bother going and anything to do with pre school

Ziggazee

I really think you need to be directing these questions with the Social Worker/Solicitor involved. I fear that you may be given incorrect/misleading advice on these forums based on people's own perceptions/personal experiences. Matters involving children are far too serious to take advice from people who really have very little knowledge of the law involving children.

daska

The Court makes the Order but the actual arrangements then have to be formalised, usually via the solicitors. This can in some instances mean waiting for several months for a slot to come free. AFAIK it's not usual for SS to arrange the contact. Have dates and times been set with the centre yet? Or has the mother refused point blank?

verysillyguy06

devoted_nanny wrote: »

Hi
Thanks for the reply
There is a court order regarding her contact and the judge said 2 mornings in a contact centre
the mother at the moment is refusing to go so the SW said until she agrees to go no need to take them
Court order dont say anything about her extended family just hers

The children were removed from her care before the full hearing so have already been living with my son. he has let her know about health appoitments although she dont bother going and anything to do with pre school

Hi,

normally if a parent does not turn up a few times then the SW/Contact worker would ask the parent to set up a formal contact arrangement whereas the parent has to call a few hours before the arranged time and then the worker would call your son to take the children.

Sounds like he needs to speak to his social worker to clarify.

devoted_nanny

on the order it says days/times

mother walked out b4 contact was arranged but SW rang her where she refused to see children in a contact although its her fault it had to be put in a contact centre as she breached a written agreement made between sw and parents, several times not just once
As for her extended family too many lies to sw resulting to they cant be trusted we said the maternal grandparents can have supervised contact in our house as its them thats been in the childrens lives since day 1 (lived with children and mother and did the care but lied about it)

Also if my son has no problems about her extended family having supervised contact but none can be trusted so he could take them and be met with a lynch mob as there has been threats to kill my so in front of kids
also a year ago the mother attacked my son and i during his contact day in front of the kids so he dont want them seeing any more violence they have been through enough already

Mojisola

devoted_nanny wrote: »

my son has agreed to take children to the centre for contact but social worker(SW) said as shes refusing to go he dont need to take them until she agrees to go so we just wait to hear from SW, im a bit worried though in case my son gets i trouble by law by not going down to the contact centre

For his protection, I would like to get this in writing so that he can prove he is acting on SW's advice.

jayII

Mojisola wrote: »

For his protection, I would like to get this in writing so that he can prove he is acting on SW's advice.

This is good advice. Once he has it in writing, he just needs to relax and wait for further instructions from the social worker.

As far as giving the mother information about health etc, he is probably not obliged to, but he really needs to seek guidance from the social worker or social services involved in the case.

Ditto with her extended family. If they want contact then they need to apply to social services for this and an appropriate decision will be made.

Your son's responsibility, above all else, is to safeguard the children. He needs to prioritise this and try to put the other issues to the back of his mind.

If the mum and/or her family want more rights, contact and so on, they really need to contact social services and sort it out properly.

devoted_nanny

yes i think he will be ringing the SW and his solicitor in the morning as its not fair on the children for a start to see/hear any arguments or them getting upset if/when she dont turn up