Nice people thread part 8 - worth the wait

HAMISH_MCTAVISH

lostinrates wrote: »

Drunk men plus fire late at night. Nah. I'll cook or provide basic repeatable food like a step ford wife. Its not as if I do this often ( ever? ).

Summer.... Drunk menfolk....

Need something spicy, but meaty, and filling, but also light-ish and with a bit of crispy salad goodness......

Has to be mexican or south american?

Fajitas?



Or with a bit more meat marinating effort, some soft tacos?



Easy, fast, fun, spicy, meat filled, and goes well with beer.

LydiaJ

lostinrates wrote: »

As a matter of interest why nothing to Isaac?

Its been one of the huge sources of family rift in dh's family, the state of affairs on the death of their mother and financial affairs (she died intestate and then some dodgy stuff happened with intestacy. No one rocks the boat because its all tied up with family stuff. Other family was the solicitor and when any one starts to raise it the boat rocks so violently that the bottom would fall out of the world of those that don't want the boat rocked...so no one does). Its not the money but the self service and the failing to think of a life with out their care afterwards that hurt DH. As it stands there are petty and silly resentments about the unloved step mother having personal effects of their mothers (which I think wouldn't be an issue if everyone got on) and an understanding they will never inherit at all, because step mother stands to and she will leave all to her own child (another marriage). There was some money from Italian stuff (which the children had to get , but it was swallowed up in taxes. As their mother was not a poor woman this sometimes grates for her children. Mostly DH shares may opinion that what we get being our own ( one way or another) is a much better state of affairs. But I know his older sibling in particular feels extremely resentful over this at times, and cuts his nose of to spite his face often over this.

I think even a token gift to each of them, something precious but not a cash might have made all the difference to their grieving. I don't KNOW that, but I think it might have done. I think cash in trust till (ahem) marriage to me or something might have helped more. but I just think feeling cared for and loved, protected through their fathers new relationship....might even have helped with the step mother issues.

That does seem unfair to me. If I inherited the entire estate of a husband who had other children apart from the ones he had with me, I don't know exactly what I'd do, but I certainly wouldn't leave the lot to my own kid and leave his out entirely. But then, if I ever marry again, I'll be writing a will that leaves stuff to DS and DD directly as well as to the hypothetical new husband.

My mum left everything to my dad. I'm fine about that. He's talked us through everything, and when he dies (which I hope won't be for ages) it all comes to the four of us kids in equal shares. I don't want any of it while he's alive anyway.

I suspect he won't marry again - he was recently amused by a letter from a cousin suggesting that he should and said that he doesn't want to - but even if he did, I am quite sure he would be far more concerned that I am to make sure that his will was "fair" according to his exacting standards of fairness. I've heard his views on wills and step-families as applied to people he knows.

He likes to think that he'll be leaving each of us a significant chunk of money/assets, and mentions it sometimes when explaining what arrangements he's making about things. I'm far more interested in him having the wherewithal to pay for whatever he needs to be comfortable in old age. He comes from an excessively long-lived family, and may end up needing a lot of care eventually, although he's still fine now at nearly 87: healthy and independent even if slowing down rather.

But then that's easier for me to say than some. What with LNE's life insurance and the compensation I'll probably get from his accident, I can manage to provide for myself and my kids whether I get anything from my dad or not, but I'm acutely aware that most people don't have that kind of lump sum financial input, so please don't take this as meaning that I think other people ought to feel about their circumstances as I feel about mine.

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

A couple of reasons. Firstly, I absolutely trust OH to look after Isaac and his interests, and not to leave everything to some half-witted step-mother.

Secondly, these are wills for when he is young - naming, for example, my parents as guardians in the absence of either of us, and my parents' wills state that if I pre-decease them, a quarter of their estates go to Isaac, not to be distributed according to my own testatory instructions. My Dad told me about that, and I told OH - my parents didn't want OH to feel slighted, but also wanted to leave their possessions to their descendants, and only to OH in conjunction with me or Isaac.

Thirdly, our flat was bought in joint names, and with a deed of trust saying we own half of the beneficial interest each. But a very significant part of the deposit came from OH's inheritance from his own parents, and I feel it is both generous of him to put it in both our names, and also that it should go back to him if I'm dead.

That all sounds very rational and sensible and fair - both the contents of the wills and everybody's attitudes in talking about it calmly. Your whole family sounds very healthy in that respect.

LydiaJ

PasturesNew wrote: »

It's tricky as everybody's at different stages..... but that's how ours was. Trouble is, if he suddenly goes out with the fairies, the lot'll go in fees. And then it's too late as you can't hide it, share it, or do anything except have him sit on it/spending it on fees.... which is fine on one hand, but on the other...

I know. Thank you for caring enough to warn me. But I also know him. He's ... err... an unusual person, and even if not entirely compos mentis would still, I think, be the sort of person whose quality of life would be very very different in one kind of home than in another kind of home that wasn't such a good match to who he is. I don't mind it going on fees if the fees enable him to have the right care for him.

I am not hypocritical enough to pretend, though, that that attitude would be so easy for me to take if I were struggling financially myself.

chewmylegoff

lostinrates wrote: »

Salad my DH would eat. (Curry is a bit of a pain ATM as I cannot eat it, but would cook for them,......only not sure they'll want it)

I just cannot see beer soaked mate wanting a salad....feel something with more 'soaking' capacity might be beneficial.

This seems like its chewmylegoff's area of expertise really.

Personally I never eat after drinking if I can possibly manage it as it's just extra calories when you've probably already drunk enough calories to last a week.

If they do want food the i suspect they wont be that fussy; once you've had a few beers you don't really want anything gourmet.

Generali

lostinrates wrote: »

Thanks gen. Its still really hot here. Still chilli?

I'm liking you said kebabs, because kebabs were what I was leaning towards. Carbs in the bread, meat for protein...some salad ...... ( for peace of mind,) and quick.

Pie mash and all that other stuff...too hot and close for.

Chilli works well in the hot weather IMHO. It's so easy to eat. There's hardly any faffing about with chewing etc.. It gets you a good sweat on too which cools you down and encourages water consumption. Serve it with a huge jug of freezing cold iced water.

The best thing is water doesn't impact chilli heat so it makes you drink all the more water!!! Great for reducing the hangover.

Generali

Had some bad news this morning. An old mate of my from my Uni days just died of a liver hemorrhage. Do any of the medically minded Nice People know what this means in practice? Did he drink himself to death (a distinct possibility)? Would he have suffered or is it one of those things that's quick?

He was a good friend and a huge amount of fun to be around. One of those people that lives life to the full. He probably got as much in during 40 years as many do in 80!

Spirit_2

lostinrates wrote: »

Salad my DH would eat. (Curry is a bit of a pain ATM as I cannot eat it, but would cook for them,......only not sure they'll want it)

I just cannot see beer soaked mate wanting a salad....feel something with more 'soaking' capacity might be beneficial.

This seems like its chewmylegoff's area of expertise really.

HM cooked gammon and egg with HM wedges or chips. A pub dish at home. Very working man.

Gammon you can cook thursday, wedges prepare ahead and stick in oven on the night, eggs take a few minutes to cook.

Cold ham then left over for salad, sandwiches etc.

GDB2222

FWIW, I would cook home-made pizza and have it cold with salad.

Home-made pizza recipe:

Buy a Laffa or other large flat bread
Put tomato and other bits on it (not much cheese) and stick it in the oven for a couple of minutes.

GDB2222

Generali wrote: »

Had some bad news this morning. An old mate of my from my Uni days just died of a liver hemorrhage. Do any of the medically minded Nice People know what this means in practice? Did he drink himself to death (a distinct possibility)? Would he have suffered or is it one of those things that's quick?

He was a good friend and a huge amount of fun to be around. One of those people that lives life to the full. He probably got as much in during 40 years as many do in 80!

Google says "Spontaneous hepatic rupture is a rare event most often occurring in association with underlying liver disease ... " http://www.hindawi.com/isrn/surgery/2011/610747/


"One of those people that lives life to the full. He probably got as much in during 40 years as many do in 80!"
He sounds like an absolutely splendid fellow, and I am sorry for your loss.

GDB2222

Help!

DW has asked me: "Could you possibly do me directions from Old St tube to Whitecross St EC1Y 8JL?"

To which I have replied so far: "Come out of Old Street station and walk WEST along Old Street. Turn left into Whitecross Street. NB: If you walk East on Old Street, you won't get there, will you?"

The trouble is that she has no sense of direction, so as things currently stand it's a 50/50 chance she'll get there. Is there any way to improve the odds?