How to get rid of my 22 year old daughter!!

atro1

She is driving me crazy. She does not work, suffers from depression. Steals from us, lies to us. She is like a hoover in the fridge but will not prepare anything just sweep into a sandwich with a covering of salad cream. Has the heating on [in May] with the windows open.
I dont know if half of her acts are deliberate to wind me up, but she is succeeding.
Alas my wife thinks the sun shines from her backside, she is the light of her life. I am getting nowhere, it is splitting us up.
My wife uses the car as daughters Taxi.
With live to a budget but we are going way over the top now.
It is spoiling the last years of my life and I am a very unhappy man.

purplepurple

Show her this thread... give her an utimatum.... one month to sort herself out or she needs to find somewhere else to live. Draw up a list of the contributions to family life you'd like her to make (rent, household chores, voluntary work if she can't get paid work etc) with a time limit for each target.
Tell her she's ruining your marriage... tell her she's making you very unhappy...
is she on anti depressants? If not, does she need them? Offer to go to the doctors with her.....

I really hope you can sort it out, you sound really fed up

BWZN93

Id give her an ultimatum too! She sounds like she simply cant get a grip on herself and probably needs some help - she may be feeling overwhelmed at the prospect of looking for a job as well as all the other pressures of growing up and simply doesnt know how to handle it.

I wouldnt be cruel with the ultimatum though, she will probably react better to support and help her to draw up an action plan of things to do with timescales to do them in. Help to motivate her to want to do the things you want her to do as they are in her benefit in the long run - quite simply she has to see that her actions now will give her a future of loneliness, whereas you could paint her a picture of a bright happy future where she has friends, money, independance, and a supportive family.

Jo x

withabix

Plenty of jobs out there. OK they maybe only pay minimum wage, but it's a start.

She must be too fussy.

Give her £1 to buy a new bottle of salad cream and change the locks whilst she is out

Turn the heating off! Tell her to wear a jumper.

Just throw her out.

ailuro2

If she suffers with depression get her to a doctor and get her some couselling aswell.
I'm sure you don't really want rid of her, you just want to see her happy, and of course living in the real world where she has to pay her own share for heating bills etc.

I'm sure your dw knows deep down that letting her live like this does her dd no favours and doesn't prepare her for real life, but, remember, if she was living in the real world she may already have left home, and mums don't like to think of their kids leaving the nest.

Once her medical conditions are on track, help her get out and about and try to find work.Even a lower paid job will help her routine,help her meet new people and lift her self esteem. Lower paid jobs may lead her into a better paid more satisfying career.

Best of luck to you all, I hope she is well soon.

jordylass

Where is the 'real' world?

Tam_Lin

jordylass wrote: »

Where is the 'real' world?

Anywhere where it's not all handed to you on a plate and where you're forced to be an adult.

poe.tuesday

you need to give her boundaries if she is to remain living in your home, you and your wife must agree on these rules and set them to her, however the depression issue needs to be addresses and not always will a pill, they just stop the feelings of depression rather than getting to the route of the depression - she needs your support with this so you need to make sure that you don't overload her with having to sort out the depression, setting boundaries, getting a job etc, one step at time, work with her to help her which in turn will help the home situation

chickflick

I was chucked out of my home at a very young age, but i can say it taught me a few things stand on my own two feet.

sonee2405

Wouldn't it be a good idea to discuss how you feel with your wife first and then hopefully together you can talk to your daughter.Just because she is 22 doesn't mean that she is able to manage without parental support-if she is depressed she is probably unware of how much she is upsetting you or maybe she is seeking attention as all children do from parents no matter how old they get.Is she on the correct treatment for depression and has her gp offered any counselling, what caused the depression etc.Yes you do need to talk to her , and get her out of this but as a family working together.If she can start to gain confidence and accept that her behaviour is affecting her parents and try to change or improve her life then thta should be a step in the right direction.
good luck

tosca5

A good start would be to get her help for her depression, to just chuck her out while she is suffering from this can be dangerous.