Wife Leaving, we have massive debt... What do I do?

exarmydreamer

You have been given some very good advice, free legal aid finishes on the 31 March. Speak to a solicitor, take the free half/hour with them and use the free legal aid service while you can.

Best thing to do is sell the house, asap. Move back to your parent's and start a DMP with a free debt agency such as stepchange and speak to CAB for extra advice. She may try to take you for everything, stand up now with a clear head and formulate a plan to move on. Good Luck.

[Deleted User]

Gaster wrote: »

ts not all her fault, I am sure I can be irritating to live with!

That doesn't excuse it either.

That argument could equally be used, to excuse a violent partner.

There's no excuse for either.

Karb

Except for the shared house issue, my situation was/is very similar.

My wife had an affair and left me, taking the kids. We had £24k of credit card debt and an outstanding mortgage of circa £60k on a £100k house. In the couple of years leading up to her leaving she had claimed £5000 in benefits that I wasnt aware of in order to finance her new life.

Its been a long hard slog, and to be honest, there have been many occasions when I've felt like giving up.

The credit card debts were built up over a number of years to pay for our wedding, car, and just general day to day living expenses. We had 5 kids between us, I had one from a previous relationship, my wife had 2 from her first marriage and we had two together, so the cost of holidays, days out and just general grocery shopping were more than I could afford.
All the credit cards were solely in my name, but the debts had been accrued to pay for family items rather than personal items, so she is liable to pay for half of them.

What I did was to consider how much it would cost us to sell the house - estate agent fees, solicitors fees, probably accepting a lower offer for a quick sale, then subtracted the value of the outstanding mortgage and debts and made an offer that I would inherit the mortgage and debts in my sole name and give my ex half of the remaining value.

We had a lot of negotiating over my pension, who should take which assets from the house, and the fact that she needs extra because she has to pay for the kids, so it wasnt easy, but we seem close to getting an agreement now.

I took the view that, as it was her that had an affair (actually it was two affairs), her that conned me out of my share of the £5k in benefits, her that hadnt contributed a penny to the mortgage or bills (though of course she contributed in other ways by raising the kids), then a 50% share of everything was reasonable.

But because she is the woman, she automatically gets to take my kids away from me, and then because she has the kids I have to give her over half of everything. I dont begrudge my kids anything, and I give her every spare penny that I have as maintenance, but it does annoy me that she can behave so badly and still have everything weighted in her favour just because she is a woman.

Good luck

DS4215

If its any consolation, I earn less than you but owed more when I started down the debt-free path. Three years later I'm down to about 50% of the initial debt and the light at the end of the tunnel might not be in sight yet, but its not pitch black outside

Sillygirl2013

Gaster,

Be strong!!! A lot of really good people here to support us.

Take care and thinking of you.

poppasmurf_bewdley

From what you have told us about your wife, I would expect that she will attempt to screw you for as much as she possibly can. Don't expect her to be nice to you about money - I've been through exactly the same thing and talk from experience.

You need to consult a GOOD divorce lawyer - not a run of the mill solicitor - one who specialises in divorce.

bryanb

exarmydreamer wrote: »

Best thing to do is sell the house, asap..

The ownership of the house is very clear in post 1

happykate

Hi Gaster

I have little to offer in the way of advice, but I wanted to wish you well. There are a lot of great people on this site who will help you in so many ways.

Take advice, find a good divorce specialist and stay strong - remember that your wife having an affair in inexcusable and most definitely NOT your fault. You have nothing to be embarrassed about - she does. Her behavior is completely unacceptable.

Good luck with it all, and take care.

exarmydreamer

bryanb wrote: »

The ownership of the house is very clear in post 1

I was referring to posts 9 and 10.

bryanb

exarmydreamer wrote: »

I was referring to posts 9 and 10.

Well can you see how he can sell a house half owned by her parents?