Wife Leaving, we have massive debt... What do I do?

Gaster

My wife is leaving me and has been having an undetected affair since last year. She has told me she doesn't love me and thats that. I am stunned but realistic. I just need some advice as financially we are in very bad shape. What are my options other than a high bridge!?

My salary £40k
her salary £16k
* we have 2 children aged 7 and 12

We have about £10k on a personal loan and a further £14k credit card debt. Its terrible and embarrassing - but real. I had plans to clear these debts over the next 6-8 years, and anticipated a salary increase (hence the long hours that helped cause the affair) but we now need a magical instant solution. Without the split the £24k would have been straightforward, but not now.

It gets worse, we live in a house with her parents. We have a mortgage for half of it (£174k) still outstanding. They own the other half outright. The value of the house has dropped to approx £300k. This means another £24k shortfall at least. Total £48k

What do you think my course of action should be and is there anyway I can come out of this still able to live, and also support my gorgeous children? Please don't slate me for the debt.. I know.

merlot123

Is the debt in both your names?

As regards to the house, your wife will have to take over mortgage if she wants to remain there, their is no equity to be had, so I would spilt the remaining debt 50/50 and then pay the required maintenance.

You do need legal advice though.

merlot123

Takeaway_Addict

You working long hours is no reason for her to have had an affair...

FallenArcher

Hi Gaster, I'm really sorry to hear that your wife has been having an affair. No one here will judge you for the debts- we're all in the same boat, the important thing is that you need advice on what to do from here? The living situation doesn't sound good. If I were you I'd speak to CAB or similar about what steps to take. In whose name is the loan? The credit card? Presumably the mortgage is in both of your names? I hope others will be able to give you better advice than I have. But hang on in there, I know a bridge isn't the answer.

cte1111

There isn't going to be a magical instant solution, but there are ways to get out of debt. Try contacting one of the debt charities, they should be able to help take you through your options, possibly including bankruptcy.

Takeaway_Addict

and go get proper advice on the money if you and her are not able to come to an amicable sort out

Gaster

Many thanks for the feedback. The debt is in my name, as I wasn't expecting to be in this position. I have been totally oblivious to the affair and am a fool. The mortgage is in our names.

There is no way she can take on such a big mortgage. Sorry to whinge on, but I'm at my wits end here. Your kind words are much appreciated. What is the likely scenario if we sell and are in negative equity?

My credit rating in experian is as high as it can be, so no issues there... yet.

Gaster

Takeaway_Addict wrote: »

You working long hours is no reason for her to have had an affair...

ts not all her fault, I am sure I can be irritating to live with!

Stupid_Question

If the 24k is in your name, that's your debt, I cant see an arrangement where at 16k she's likely to be able to contribute.

I'm a little confused with the mortgage / house ownership situation.

Whatever your arrangement with her parents is, you are not in negative equity. The mortgage is secured on the house, the house is worth over 100k more than the outstanding mortgage.

A back of the fag packet calculation, assuming parental good will, would say sell the house, your wife is then left owing c24k to her parents and you are left owing c24k in loans/credit cards.

The best course of action is to speak with CAB / a divorce lawyer.

Gaster

Fair points, I have caught up. It will be her parents we will owe the £24k to. This all seems a little more achievable as there is likely to be some goodwill. Its just so humiliating having to tell them and others how !!!! I have been with money. I would love to avoid lawyers though.

eyeopener2

To be honest, your debt compared to your salary isn't that bad. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.

Has your soon to be ex wife benefited from the loans and cards? If so I don't see why she shouldn't take some responsibility for them. What's her take on this (if you can bear speaking to her).

Might be worth getting a good lawyer you know, I've known many people who have been right royally stuffed by financial settlements after divorce. So get good advice, it's worth it in the long run.