can all contact be stopped?

No-Idea-Anymore

Hello, Im looking for some advice if possible.

The mother of my child is messing with my head in a big way, as an example last week I get a phonecall saying is it ok for my child to come and stay with me in the school holidays, I said yes of course and booked a flight, today I get a phonecall saying my daughter is not coming to stay with me and I will be having no further contact with my child in any way (text, email, phonecalls, seeing in person) unless there is a social worker present. (this is because my daughter sent me an email, I replied, the mother says I should not be having that type of contact with my child without her knowledge because its malicious and is messing my childs life up???)

I went to a solicitor for advice a few months ago as the mother was making threats, the soilicitor told me it was my word against the mothers and told me I could record the phonecalls to prove what I was saying.

It worked because I now have the mother threatening my life if I come anywhere near my own child, and saying she will get people to come to my home and smash all my windows, at the end of the call she also mentioned that she knows where my parents live and to "watch myself".

The mother does have a residence order. My daughter does want to see me.

Can the mother stop all contact between me and my child? or would it have to be done through court?

RAS

Do you have a copy of the phone call saying the visit was OK?

Do you have parental responsibility?

Do you have a contact order in place at the moment?

balletshoes

I hope you have that most recent call recorded - get to a solicitor straightaway.

How old is your daughter?

No-Idea-Anymore

I have all calls recorded, she is ok one second saying I can see my daughter (8 years old) then the next minute shes saying i cant because i am messing up my daughters life/head because I am in contact with her! I dont know if am i coming or going anymore.

no contact order just she has a residence order.

I am going to see a solicitor but the earliest i can get there is next week, i have booked some time off work to try and get this sorted out.

Kelvin348

Don't go straight to court.
Ask your solicitor to arrange a court appointed mediator.
It worked for me many years ago.
Good luck and you must stay calm at all cost.

Blackpool_Saver

All I can say is don't give up trying, make sure the child knows you want to see them.

Good luck

RAS

As long as DD was born after December 2003 and you are named on the birth certificate, you have parental rights.

You will be expected to offer mediation. make absolutely sure that you refer throughout to your daughter's right to access to both parents. it is not about your rights, it is hers.

If that does not work you might want to think about asking for residence rather than just contact? Given how abusive mum is towards you, it is likely that her behaviour affect the child as well.

Paddles

RAS wrote: »

As long as DD was born after December 2003 and you are named on the birth certificate, you have parental rights.

This is true of England, the law in Scotland changed later and is from May 2006.

Hope everything works out for you OP. I'm sure if you keep a log of everything is should be fairly straightforward to get a contact order.

daska

AFAIK you don't have any rights beyond going to Court and requesting contact. The child has rights, you have responsibilities. Contact is for the benefit of the child, if the Court deems the child isn't benefited by contact then the parent foregoes it.

So to answer your first question: yes, it is possible for all contact to be stopped but it usually only happens if contact will put the child/ resident parent/ family at risk and even then if it is impossible to arrange it using a contact centre/third parties.

Did you inform your ex that you would be recording the conversations? If you didn't you won't be able to use them as evidence, only for your personal reference - that might(?) include playing them to your solicitor but they'll never make it into court. However you can transcribe them and use that in your statements. Next time she rings and starts mouthing off tell her that in future you'll be recording all calls (make sure you get that bit on tape). Either she'll be bright enough to remember and refrain from the abuse/threats in which case at least you don't have to listen to them, or she won't in which case you may get evidence that is admissible.

My advice would be to find a solicitor on the child/family panels put together all the information they could want e.g. a diary of events, a list of people involved with relationship, address, phone number etc. and go and have a chat with them.

Tiddlywinks

No-Idea-Anymore wrote: »

It worked because I now have the mother threatening my life if I come anywhere near my own child, and saying she will get people to come to my home and smash all my windows, at the end of the call she also mentioned that she knows where my parents live and to "watch myself".

The mother does have a residence order. My daughter does want to see me.

Urgently speak to your solicitor for advice about the following:

- the mother sounds mentally unbalanced - threats to life / property / people are a Police matter... it would be worth you reporting it as harassment and getting a crime ref no. so there is an 'official' record. After all, if the situation was reversed and a man was threatening the life of his ex... everyone on here would be jumping up and down about going to the police.

- as she sounds unbalanced, should she be caring for your child? Are you in a position to look for residency yourself? Can you use this to your advantage

Good luck.

FBaby

What did you say in the email to your daughter that got the mum all fired up saying you are trying to mess about with your daughter's mind?