A break from a relationship...

liliesnlace85

I agree with LEJC that you should do whatever feels right for. Something that really helped me in a previous break up was to keep a diary of how I was feeling. It sounds really silly but every day I wrote down exactly how I was feeling, how much I missed them, how upset/angry/lonely I felt. It helped because not only could I pour my heart out (without getting worried that it would get bored of me talking about it like friends might) but it also meant that a week or a month down the line I could look back at it and realise the progress I had made.

I'd also try to keep yourself busy. Spend as much time with friends and families as you can, throw yourself into hobbies. I also moved around the furniture in my house and put away anything that reminded me of my ex as silly things made me feel upset whenever I suddenly saw them.

best of luck.

InsideInsurance

It works however you want it to work but I must say that even in general if you're wanting to (rather than needing to) spend more than a few days apart then things are seriously wrong let alone after just 9 months together.

If money is the problem then sit down and work out budgets together. It sounds more that money may be the excuse rather than the cause though

McKneff

InsideInsurance wrote: »

It works however you want it to work but I must say that even in general if you're wanting to (rather than needing to) spend more than a few days apart then things are seriously wrong let alone after just 9 months together.

If money is the problem then sit down and work out budgets together. It sounds more that money may be the excuse rather than the cause though

That was one of my first thoughts to be honest.....

VestanPance

Taking a break after only nine months due to money worries and what sounds like incompatible free time interests. Sounds like the relationship isn't pretty much doomed to failure to me.

You sound like you are still young and wanting to go out and party in your free time. Your boyfriend sounds like he's older or has an older attitude in terms of wanting to relax in his free time, busy career and mortgage to pay.

Sounds more like two people at very different stages in their lives, or possibly with incompatible personalities.

southcoastrgi

whitewing wrote: »

I think as you work for the same company maybe you need to be clear if your break allows you each to see other people, or whether you are just spending physical time apart.

If either of you want to see other people during "a break" then you aren't right for each other anyway, you should miss the other person not jump straight into bed with someone else.

Bolshie wrote: »

I'm trying to pay off a lot of debt which leaves me with very little money for me and it means at the weekend I can’t do much, no nights out, no shopping trips or nights away.

for goodness sake, moving in together means you do things together, yes you can have the odd night out with the girls, but from the above it seems like you want a realationship/living together & a single life as well, it's doesn't sound to me that you are ready to settle down, you can't have your cake & eat it, you need to choose one way or the other

StuC75

Im sure everyone has seen the friends episode and the phrase it spawned.. Is the OP just looking for a little time apart to put context to what has been building up and get a handle on whats the matter.

If the issues are work and money rather than relationship dynamics, neither of them may actually be looking to move on from the relationship to something new.. or are other posters that fickle in there emotions.

Are the work pressures job or job security related?.. Maybe the trip home together is whats going wrong? In my previous job that was stressing I used to look at the trip home as the time to put things out of my mind, ready to walk in the house 'relaxed'.. If neither of you are having that 'down time' then no wonder you are bouncing off each other..

As for the money 'worries', echo others suggestion that maybe things are stretched you both running a place each.. In practical terms would moving in together provide a practical solution, as no rent but maybe a suitable 'board' to pay to your boyfriend that helps you both get a handle on debts and improve things going forward.

Use this as a light bulb moment, if your looking to spend that much going out,, then need to balance your books.

Although moving in together would be certain recipe for disaster if you dont get a handle on how you each have time out from things. rather than making things more joined at the hip.. have time apart as couple of hours out at the gym, so have slight differences in interests..

System

I dont understand what is meant by a break in the relationship. Your either together or your not.

Are you free to date others or not?

Nope, i dont understand it?

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Sweetie - if you have debts you can't afford shopping trips!

the_pink_panther_2

Please keep us posted Bolshie as to what happens. I agree in theory with the general tone of the posts here, having said that, I have been in break ups which have resulted in getting back together (although they have since ended).