When should I contact the 'Ex'?

beckysbobbles1

I know this seem so petty but I split up with my boyfriend on Sunday. To me it was completely out of the blue as we'd been together nearly 9 months and seemed in love.

I know now we got very caught up with the romance of it all and I beleive he has some committment issues.

Anyway he told me it was over on Sunday and moved out of my house on Monday whilst I was at work.

The thing is he has left some stuff behind and I think I should contact him to ask what he wishes me to do with it.

I'm not into playing games but I don't want to contact him so soon that he thinks I'm desperate for him but I also don't want to seem petty for leaving it too long.

He will probably get some mail over the next week or so so I wonder whether to leave it until then and ask what he wants me to do with his stuff and his mail. He didn't even leave me a forwarding address.

I know there is no chance of us getting back together and honestly I just want him out of my life but I need to get him off the joint account and his things to him before he can be completely forgotten.

I was thinking this weekend to send him a message asking him whether he wants his stuff and what to do with his mail.

The thing with the stuff is, I think he completely overlooked these things. But it's stuff like a watch, ring and ipod dock.

I think he purposely left a few items for me to use so I will assume they are mine.

Meadows

Bag them and leave them ready to be picked up.
Send a text now and say 'you have left stuff here and we need to close the joint account, the sooner we can do that the sooner we can move on'.

Unless you really do not want to speak to him better to do it sooner than later.

If he does not respond can you contact a family member or friend to ask them what he wants to do with the stuff and the account!

pinkshoes

Dear <ex's name>. You left some of your stuff at the house. Can you let me know when you want to come and pick it up? Cheers. <you>

Joons

What Meadows said, you need to get this out in order for YOU to move on.

poledancer49

Agree with the above post's. You are being vey kind by giving him the chance to come and get his stuff. Make sure you have a weekend planned with your girlfriends and enjoy the rest of your life.

thorsoak

Ensure that you do not put any more money into the joint account - he could empty it! Personally, if it were me, I would honour the dds up to and including the day he left, and would take from what remained of any deposits that I had made - then rearrange all other dds from a sole account. Any bills that are down to him, then he should arrange payment!

danielley

This is a tricky one, because if you do contact him, no matter what the reason, there is a chance he will think that you are reaching out as you miss him or it may give him hope (if he is missing you)

Obviously you need to sort any financial implications out, but in the meantime, I would contact the bank/s to find out what is requires to close the account and then perhaps contact him in a few days with that information (unless you are concerned that he will run up debt - in which case you should close the account asap)

Good luck

sweetpea26

Hi there

Why did he leave the watch and ring? Did you buy them for him. If so take it he does not want them. Send him an email if possible saying he has a week to collect or else you are 'donating' them to charity ....

Contact the bank and explain the situation .... freeze it if necessary. I am sure there will be lots of other people who will be able to help you wiht better advice money wise.

I wish you all the best and I hope you can move on with your life and put him way behind you.

beckysbobbles1

Thanks for the replies.

It's difficult as the joint account is really my bill account. We just added him on as he was helping to pay them.

I didn't buy him the ring and watch, it was in a wooden box that I think he thought was mine. It's clearly quite old.

I've contacted the bank and they are sending me out the forms for him to sign so maybe it's best until I have them and try to get everything finalised in one swoop.

He took most of his stuff so that's why I think these are an oversight.

BitterAndTwisted

The very last things I'd be concerned about was some man's watch and mail if he'd just ended it a couple of days ago. I'd be concentrating on getting that joint-account closed asap. You're financially-linked now and the consequences could be more serious than you anticipate. If you can't close it immediately get it emptied.

Wilma33

Does the account have an overdraft? He could run up a debt.