bedtime routine for toddler

purplepurple

http://www.motherandbabymusic.com/albums/music_for_mother_and_baby.php

http://www.motherandbabymusic.com/music.php listen to excerpts here

My two have been listening to this cd since they were born.... it gets them to sleep within about 15 minutes without fail now (wasn't always the case I can tell you, but now they're 6 and 4 it works wonders)... if they ever stir in the night, we just pop it back on and it soothes them to sleep really quickly. Does he just like the company of getting into bed with you do you think? Often music or a story cd can make them feel more secure in bed.....
they also love their routine of tea over by 6pm, warm bath together, cup of warm milk by 7, teeth and bedtime story, music on, asleep by 8 at the very latest. My Godmother bought it for my DD as they were being sold in aid of the local neo natal unit... best present we've ever got!

Good luck!

nessquic80

i can symathise with you, my little bot is now 29 monthes old now and has been in his own bed since he was one, he never slept in his cot as he was a early learner and managed to climb out every nite and find his way to our room, one night id had enough, i put him back in his bed he screamed the place down and made himself sick i cleaned him up put him back in bed stood outside his bedroom door and held the door handle so he couldnt get out, this lasted 45 minutes, i knew he was safe so i wasnt too worried just gulity that it had come to this, after fourty five mintues i heard him getting into bed and that was the last time he ever slept in our bed through the nite until we moved house then i bought a stair gate and put on his bed room door, he doesnt even bother anymore to get out of bed or kick off cos he knows it wont get him anywhere.
hope you can find a solution
nessquic80

Mandles

Maybe contact your health visitor about it. She will probably have some better advice. It sounds like your husband is the problem though. Maybe then suggest that he stays away for a week while you do the super nanny back to bed thing. Sounds like you alone are going to be the one mainly sorting this problem out so if hes not going to help send him off to his mum for a week!

carolwat

Health visitor, hmmm thats a joke. I have only ever seen her once and that was last year when we first moved here.

My husband is out tonight and my son is in bed fast asleep. I read him a story and kissed him goodnight, he begged me to stay with him but I told him I had some work to do. I returned him to bed once and now he is fast asleep. He knows his dad is out so stands no chance of getting back downstairs. Tomorrow will be a different story. Yes I can send my husband out every night while I get this sorted but I know that how ever long I do that for eventually he will have to stay around for bedtime and our son will play up again.

Thank you all for all your tips etc, I know the problem is with my husband being around at bedtimes and the solution is for him to toughen up and not give in but I have no faith in him to do that. Am going to text him now and tell him our son is in bed fast asleep so that will make him think hopefully.

Thanks again

Mandles

Been thinking about it and ive got it!
Right, prepare for a boring week. make up a bed next to his bed in his room and do the bath and read book thing and say goodnight and then you go to bed the same time next to him in his room and stay there. (maybe listen to ipod or something). Maybe after a week of this he will be used to sleeping in his own bed/bedroom and not try to come out to your bed.
As time goes on you can sneak out of his room and go downstairs when hes fallen asleep.then progress to the leave him there on his own. Maybe give him a reward system. Kids love that . A star sticker for each day he stays in his room and a treat when he has 5.
Its the only thing that i could think of in your situation that could work.

liney

Sorry, but i just have to say .. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! to the above suggestion.

Start as you mean to go on. You know you can get him to bed when your husband isnt there, so there is no need to camp out in his bedroom. If you can explain to your husband that your son is playing up because he knows daddy will give in, then daddy popps him to bed and does not give in, you son will know you both mean business and he wont get away with it.

I believe your sons sleep issue is more about playing one against the other from what you have said, so a united front is the answer.

Good luck!

carolwat

We have already tried the staying in his room with him but if he wakes and we are not there if will get up and come downstairs or into our bed if we are in there. He really does not like to be on his own at all. He begged me to stay with him last night. I think I forgot to say I put him into our bed to sleep last night to tackle one thing at a time. We have a very large bed so im not really bothered about him sleeping with us. If he would just go to bed at a decent time I can cope with him sleeping with us. I dont care which bed he sleeps in so long as he sleeps

He got up once last night but I put him back into bed and he went to sleep, he woke later and came down but I put him straight back up there and he ent back to sleep quite easily. He knew his dad was out so no pint fighting with me Dont know what tonight will be like though but will try the same again.

Once he is happy to go to bed then I will tackle getting him into his own bed.

Thanks again for all the help and support.
Carol

Mandles

liney wrote: »

Sorry, but i just have to say .. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! to the above suggestion.

Start as you mean to go on. You know you can get him to bed when your husband isnt there, so there is no need to camp out in his bedroom. If you can explain to your husband that your son is playing up because he knows daddy will give in, then daddy popps him to bed and does not give in, you son will know you both mean business and he wont get away with it.

I believe your sons sleep issue is more about playing one against the other from what you have said, so a united front is the answer.

Good luck!

I think it was a good suggestion as from her posts she is getting absoloutly no support from her husband and normal ways you would try haven't worked. I think your suggestion that tell husband son is playing up because he knows daddy will give in will not work as from previous posts she has said that he has not supported her at all when she has tried before.
As i said before this boy is very bright and has won his way in her bed by his behaviour.
Again, it is not mum or the son , its dad and he's not going to help . she's got to find a way when dad IS home to make it work, thus my suggestion.

izoomzoom

Ah, we had a bit of this when our children were younger. A lot of it was our own fault, but I have to credit my husband. When I started working evenings, he put his foot down, and got the children to go to bed on their own. It probably would never have happened if I had been there, and I am no push over with the children (well I must be a bit but ...) but it was fantastic that we finally did have some time together (when I wasn't at work).

You clearly see your husband as the problem, and even if he hasn't the balls (sorry) to be a disciplinarian, either get him to go out in the evening (and / or pretend to go out) so that he can see what a fantastic mommy you are and how your son is playing up because of dad. If your husband can recognise himself in the problem, perhaps it will help him be a bit stronger.

carolwat

He does recognise the problem but finds it very hard to rectify it. He just cant bear to see our son upset and finds it easier to give in than to plough on and work through it. He has promised (again) to help so we will see what happens over the next week.

Carol