Money or time?

ddebski_us

Dunroamin wrote: »

Did you give any thought to someone's suggestion thay your husband drop a day rather than you as you earn more than he does?

I did think about it. But *I* want to be home with her (selfish, I know, but mummy instinct )

geoffky wrote: »

We are mortgage free and live on £1200 pm very easily..We do have a holiday fund but all the other things are paid out of the monthly sum..That includes my daughters bus and meal fees of £10 per day..
We do not scrimp whatsoever..

You are very lucky to have no mortgage!!! One day we will be there, but we're overpaying as much as we can now so we get there sooner, hence why we're both FT to put us in a better position in the future.

One day we hope to up sticks up north, buy a bigger house in the country, both work PT/jobs we like rather than jobs we need and spend more time with DD. But for now, family commitments keep us here.

We do need a bigger house; at the moment it is a 2 bed back-to-back (so no garden) and only 1 living room. It is small, and if we want another child, we need more space.

We have talked long and hard about it the last few days. DH is willing to support me but thinks I won't get less work if I only do 4 days (already got too much for 5!) and I don't want to work longer hours as I love putting her to bed at night, and I already start at 7:30am!

There is a chance DH will be made redundant soon too, so I think I'm stuck.

First real chance we get though, I'm taking it.

xDx

CH27

ddebski_us wrote: »

I did think about it. But *I* want to be home with her (selfish, I know, but mummy instinct )



You are very lucky to have no mortgage!!! One day we will be there, but we're overpaying as much as we can now so we get there sooner, hence why we're both FT to put us in a better position in the future.

One day we hope to up sticks up north, buy a bigger house in the country, both work PT/jobs we like rather than jobs we need and spend more time with DD. But for now, family commitments keep us here.

We do need a bigger house; at the moment it is a 2 bed back-to-back (so no garden) and only 1 living room. It is small, and if we want another child, we need more space.

We have talked long and hard about it the last few days. DH is willing to support me but thinks I won't get less work if I only do 4 days (already got too much for 5!) and I don't want to work longer hours as I love putting her to bed at night, and I already start at 7:30am!

There is a chance DH will be made redundant soon too, so I think I'm stuck.

First real chance we get though, I'm taking it.

xDx

I would stop overpaying the mortgage at the moment.
Drop a day & spend the time with your daughter.
When she starts school, throw all the money used on childcare at the mortgage.

getmore4less

ddebski_us wrote: »

There is a chance DH will be made redundant soon too, so I think I'm stuck.

Get that budget sorted ASAP.

If income is potentialy going to drop you need to know where your money goes so you can prioritise.

ddebski_us

I do have schedule of monthly outgoings, so I know our costs. We do have potential to cut down on extra spends (clothes, meals out, bits and bobs for the house etc) if required and I am sure we could cut our weekly food budget if I really tried. I am happy we'd manage if it came to it (although, might not be fun!)

xDx

Spendless

ddebski_us wrote: »

You are very lucky to have no mortgage!!! One day we will be there, but we're overpaying as much as we can now so we get there sooner, hence why we're both FT to put us in a better position in the future.

One day we hope to up sticks up north, buy a bigger house in the country, both work PT/jobs we like rather than jobs we need and spend more time with DD. But for now, family commitments keep us here.

We do need a bigger house; at the moment it is a 2 bed back-to-back (so no garden) and only 1 living room. It is small, and if we want another child, we need more space.

We have talked long and hard about it the last few days. DH is willing to support me but thinks I won't get less work if I only do 4 days (already got too much for 5!) and I don't want to work longer hours as I love putting her to bed at night, and I already start at 7:30am!

There is a chance DH will be made redundant soon too, so I think I'm stuck.

First real chance we get though, I'm taking it.

xDx

What is your timescale for the above (bolded bit)? IME (kids 13 and 10 this month) a 2 year old doesn't know the difference between swimming with mum on a Sunday am toddler session and going on a Wednesday afternoon if mum negotiates a day off work and won't remember any mums and tots groups. A 7 yo will remember the time you were unable to see their Christmas concert as you were working 5 days a week, so no day off to swap round and unable to book AL as there were already people off, who got to the holiday board long before school thought to announce their dates, and a 12 yo will beg you not to turn up at their school sports day cos you are just too uncool to be seen with -that's if they actually tell you about it.

Since you've only returned to 5 day working from 4 recently, are your employers going to be happy about changing it back. Presumably you could have said no when they asked you to do this, so must have your reasons for agreeing?

I realise house prices must look very attractive in the North compared to how much you pay where you are, but remember that there's also high unemployment and low wages - depending on where you are thinking of going of course.

Since you are wanting another child, wouldn't it be more sensible to stick with the 5 days for now, till you know what's happening with your husband's job and then reduce your hours with the arrival of a 2nd?

FBaby

I made the choice to work full-time when my children were little. To start with, I thought I had no choice, benefits were not an alternative at the time, even if available, you didn't consider them as an alternative to working full-time.

Then my ex and I separated, and to keep what I had (the house I fought to own), I had to continue to work full-time. Like you, I had many many moments when I wondered if I was doing the right thing. When I was exhausted to tears, when I was short tempered with the kids, when I had no energy left to read them the 20 pages story, when they were acting up and I blamed it on it. However, instead of giving up the job, I continued to give everything I had to my kids when I was with them and everything to the job. I was lucky to have a lovely boss who offered me flexibility so i could attend Christmas play, sport day, or allowed me to work from home when they were very ill.

They are now 10 and 13 and even though I still have some times when I wish I worked less, it is now more for my own benefit than theirs! I can now discuss this with them and ask them what they would prefer. Both have said that they never felt hard done by, that they got used to going to breakfast/afterschool clubs and they enjoyed them, but most importantly, that they told me that they now realised that many things we get to do during the week-ends are holidays, that bring us close together, we can do because I can afford it. We had an amazing holiday in Crete last summer in a lovely villa with our own swimming pool, and my boy still regularly talk about it, how special it was. Maybe it is because our time together is precious that when we do spend time together, it feels extra special.

Like my kids, I had full time working parents, spent a lot of time with childminders and clubs, but I also don't recall feeling I was missing out but feeling very lucky that I also got to do activities that some of my friends had never experienced.

In the end, it is a difficult choice because different kids have different needs. Some would much prefer to have more time with their parents and do with less luxuries, whilst others are naturally more independent, mix well with various people, and enjoy special occasions.