Please help me, my debt is destroying my life :'(

thetaylorclan

Good evening, I hope I am posting in the right place.

I am a stay at home mum with three children aged 9, 6 and 5, and a husband who works full time.

I have no one I can talk to and can no longer keep this bottled up inside. please help if you can?

The long and short of it is that we are drowning in debt. 5 years ago this May we had a house repossessed and everything has been slowly snowballing ever since.
I totalled up our debt last week and it came to a staggering £66,000!!!
Wea re in receipt of housing benefit, council tax benefit, and child tax credits.
In December 2011 my husband had an operation on his right shoulder and time off work, then 8 months later he broke hi left collar bone and had time off work for which he did not get paid. We then had to move from where we were renting due to inability to claim housing benefit due to no actual contract in place (renting from a friend of my mother), in order to rent a house through an agent at the time we had to sell our car and get rid of the family dog as we could not take him with us.
Last month my husband was told by a hospital consultant that he needs an operation on his broken shoulder as it has not healed and is cutting into the tissue and skin but he cannot take the time off work as he will only get ssp due to having too much time off which got him kicked out of the company sick scheme. He is also having problems with the right shoulder again which will eventually mean another operation on that too.
We cannot afford to buy another car at all and are obviously making do.
Our debts are crazy and we cannot pay them, we are behind with utility bills and council tax.
We owe too much for a debt relief order, too much for debt management and we cannot find the money to file for Bankruptcy which is what we need to do. We have no credits in use and do not even have an overdraft.
£47,000 of our debt is for a loan that was secured against our repossessed house. There was a CCJ in place on my husbands wages for £40 a month but a few months ago, this stopped being paid and we have had no letters or anything about it.
I live in fear of bailiffs.
To add to my despair, I have only £70 to see my whole family through the next 14 days!
Over the past two months we have had to sell thing to get extra money to live on, such as a phone and a tv. We have nothing left to sell.
I have a history of severe depression and I know that I am going downhill fast again (which is so not what I need right now).
I feel degraded and downtrodden and I don't know where to turn. If it wasn't for my beautiful children I would seriously contemplate ending it all.
All I want is a fresh start, but sooner or later I can see my life falling apart.
I don't want to live like this any longer, I cant!

jubilee14

Hi Taylorclan and well done for posting. you really have had a tough time of it of late. I cant imagine the stress this must be putting on you all. I am no expert in the benefits side of things but have you spoken to CAB to see if there are benefits that could assist? see your kids are school age. is there any chance of you getting some part time work to help with short fall.

I wish i had some really practical solutions. what i can say is this place is a great sounding board with plenty of advice and support. am sure there will be folks along with more practical advice but please do use this forum for advice its amazing the things you can learn on here. Wishing lots of good wishes and support.

Debtbusterintraining

I'm sure more experienced folk will be along soon but didn't want to read and run. Can you put up an SOA? This is usually a starting point for people to give advice once it's all there in black and white. It feels a bit like airing your dirty laundry but is invaluable for helping to start to solve the problem.

thetaylorclan

Hi debtbusterintraining, whats an SOA? (sorry to sound dumb, I'm guessing statement of affairs?) If that's correct where would I post it?

Upsidedown_Bear

Hello and welcome :hello:

Yes, you're definitely in the right place

As debtbusterintaining says can you post a SOA (statement of affairs) so people can see exactly what's going on?

Link here:

http://www.stoozing.com/msoc/soacalc.php

You need to format it at the end for MSE.

Have you contacted any of the free debt charities for help?
See here:
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4228011

Snagggles

Hi thetaylorclan, I imagine that post took a lot of guts and was quite an emotional thing to put in writing. I just want to hug you really.

I wish I could offer some good advice, but my knowledge is pretty specific to Scotland. A couple of things spring to mind though - firstly, as someone else has said, have you spoken to the CAB or the CCCS? You sound as though you need someone on your side, who can help you to deal with the financial difficulties that you have and negotiate with creditors where necessary. Secondly, and CAB might be able to help with this, if bankruptcy is the best way forward for you, it could be worth seeing if there are any charity grants available to help with the fee.

Please do keep posting. As I'm sure I have heard Martin say, I've never come across a debt problem that was impossible to solve. Life can and will get better, but you need support, and that's why this place exists.

Debtbusterintraining

Thanks upside down bear for posting the link for the taylorclan I'm not very computer savvy.

Malkin157

Personally I don't think SOA pruning is going to help although it wouldn't hurt for the experts on here to have a look, it may also help you to write it all down.

In my opinion with a debt of 66K and 5 mouths to feed, coupled with the other issues and your husbands injuries - you need to go bankrupt, take the short term pain and then move on with a new strategy. If your youngest is 5 then soon you could look for part time work.

Remember it's only money - you haven't got it so they cant have it.

Stay strong and good luck.

tpl

I have no one I can talk to and can no longer keep this bottled up inside. please help if you can?
Hope you find some help here...

In order to rent a house through an agent at the time we had to sell our car and get rid of the family dog as we could not take him with us. :(:(:(

Our debts are crazy and we cannot pay them, we are behind with utility bills and council tax.
Priority debts needed to tackled first... have you been in touch with debt charity eg. Step Change?, you need to do a Statement of Affairs (SOA) and deal with the priority debts as soon as poss.

I have a history of severe depression and I know that I am going downhill fast again (which is so not what I need right now).
Definitely not, I know what that is like...have you been see your GP? go if you think it will help. you need to look after yourself, eat, sleep well etc.

I feel degraded and downtrodden and I don't know where to turn. If it wasn't for my beautiful children I would seriously contemplate ending it all. It's lovely you have your children who you obviously love very much... there will be a way to work it out.

All I want is a fresh start, but sooner or later I can see my life falling apart.
I don't want to live like this any longer, I cant!
Sorry to hear you are feeling so bad, stay on the forum...there are lots of people here who can help you and give advice...who have more knowledge and experience than me. It will get sorted....hang on in there.

Allypops

You have had a horrendous time over the last couple of years. However, you are still here and still fighting and I really believe that you will get through with a little help and support from one of the debt charities or the CAB.

It sounds as though you feel that bankruptcy may be the way to go. I searched and found this thread which talks about charities that may help with the fees associated with bankruptcy:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/1167839

You might want to have a look at that and maybe post a query on the bankruptcy board to see if anyone has had any luck with getting help in that respect.

You really need to talk through your situation with a free debt service. The following thread explains where to go to:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4228011

As you are short of money right now, you might find it helpful to look on the oldstyle moneysaving board as they are very good at making money stretch.

Finally, if you are up to it you might want to post a "statement of affairs" as this will give a picture of your incomings and expenditure as well as debts and then people can offer specific advice on your options.

Here is the link to the SOA:

http://www.stoozing.com/msoc/soacalc.php

The most important thing is to look after yourself and your family. So if you find that your depression is worsening, talk to your doctor and get some help with that too. There is always someone on here to listen too

thetaylorclan

I would post a SOA but as a new user it wont let me post links (as in copy and paste)!

I would like to add, I was in touch with cccs last year, after looking at all my details, the adviser advised us that bankruptcy was best even then