Need some help regarding situation with Ex BF

gotnodosh

Hi all, hope you can help me with something.

I was with my Ex bf for about 18 months. Early on in our relationship my car broke and I had to buy a new one. I was unemployed and didn't have any savings so he lent me £750 to buy a new one. I repaid him about £500 of it after getting a Budgeting Loan and was going to repay the rest once I was financially a bit more stable. Unfortunately, that didn't happen and he told me not to worry about repaying the rest of the money to him. So to me that means he gifted it to me. I have never signed anything at the time that I owed this money, even though I asked him if he wanted me to.

I finished with him in early January, we were emailing each other in the early stages after we split up and he mentioned at least twice about the money and that he had written off the remaining amount.

Now he has turned round and says that he wants me to repay this money or he will take me to court.

I really don't have the money to repay him so I have offered to pay him £10 a month, even though I think that I shouldn't have to repay anything.

If he took it to court, would the judge side with me and see that he just seems to get revenge because I finished with him or would they make me pay the money back?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Well, you could change your number, block his and see whether he dollows it through. He could be doing it to be an arze or to try and get back in contact with you. After all, that's 25 months - two more years of having to contact him every four weeks.

Have you sold the car on?

There is no guarantee either way, legally. Just depends on whether you are prepared to tough it out.

Sommer43

Agree with Jojo.

Cut the contact and if he's serious about taking you to court, then let him serve you the papers. Morally, the £10 a month is a good resolution and if you stick to this arrangement, there is little a court would judge on in that respect. You don't need to speak to him to arrange this if you have his bank details. Just pay it into his bank account each month and place in the narrative "Repayment of loan"

It's your word against his, if he chooses to go to court. I doubt very much he will take out his threat, but don't engage with him. He can contact you via the court by papers.

I know you don't think you should pay him, but it will help you in the end, then you will be completely free of him. Don't borrow anything to pay him back. Stick to the monthly amount and pay more if you can.

geoffky

Did he have use of the car? If so he has had some use from the money..
He will have to prove to the judge it was not a gift then if he wins you just offer to pay £10 a month...Call his bluff..

yvonne13_2

OP find away of giving him back the rest of his money.

Never ever allow anyone to hold money over you to throw it back in your face, your now seeing whom he really is and if you were still in the relationship he wouldn't ask for it back.

Sommer43

yvonne13 wrote: »

OP find away of giving him back the rest of his money.

Never ever allow anyone to hold money over you to throw it back in your face, your now seeing whom he really is and if you were still in the relationship he wouldn't ask for it back.

Agree. Money has this incredible knack of turning a person who we once loved into nasty pieces of work. He said it was fine and not worry about when you were a couple, now he wants it back and is threatening you with court. Lovely person.

You've made an offer to repay him, find a way to pay him back quicker, so you're no longer beholden to him. But don't be foolish and borrow it from unscrupulous sources. If you can find no way to raise this money, then stick to the £10 per month. But in your interests to pay it back regardless of what you think judged on what he's said previously and then you're in the clear.

piglet74

Call his bluff.. Tell him "that's fine.. See you in court".. That's if he makes contact with you again, I'm with the idea of cutting all forms of contact.

Treevo

He lent you the money with the expectation that the relationship would last. You owe him the money, and by paying back two thirds, you've shown that you had the intention of paying him back. Morally, and probably legally, you owe him this money. Don't be a taker.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

gotnodosh wrote: »

I really don't have the money to repay him so I have offered to pay him £10 a month, even though I think that I shouldn't have to repay anything.

Why not? You borrowed the money so you should really pay it back. You wouldn't have a car if it wasn't for him so do the honourable thing.

AirCooledHeaven

There is no way this would get anywhere in court. The burden of proof would be on your ex to demonstrate that this was a loan and not a gift, and unless there was something in writing between you then there is no chance.

However, in your post you say he 'lent' you the money, so you acknowledge it was a loan and not a gift. I would take the moral high ground and pay him back asap, then he has nothing to 'hold over you' and you can get on with your life.

Treevo

AirCooledHeaven wrote: »

There is no way this would get anywhere in court. The burden of proof would be on your ex to demonstrate that this was a loan and not a gift, and unless there was something in writing between you then there is no chance.

However, in your post you say he 'lent' you the money, so you acknowledge it was a loan and not a gift. I would take the moral high ground and pay him back asap, then he has nothing to 'hold over you' and you can get on with your life.

Her part paying the loan back would be more than enough proof.