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Charitable donations after funeral

travelgran
Posts: 297 Forumite
When a collection is made for a charity after a funeral how do the funeral directors process this and any other cheques sent to them?
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After Mum's funeral, the funeral directors kept the cash donations, waited a couple of weeks in case other donations came in (and some did), sent a cheque to the charity and wrote to the family giving the details.
The charity then sent a thank you letter as well.
You have to trust the funeral directors to pass on all the cash. If you don't, I don't see why you couldn't have someone you know making the collection after the funeral and they could pass the money onto you.0 -
People gave their donations to me or one of my sisters. The funeral director was not involved.Member #14 of SKI-ers club
Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.
(Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)0 -
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After both my mother and my father's funeral, the director passed all donations to me. Most were in envelopes with the name of the donor plus which charity they wished their money to go to. Most of the envelopes contained notes with a few cheques. The funeral director did not open the envelopes.
We had specified a couple of charities each time. Some envelopes were blank and we decided where to donate them.
There was some cash (coins mostly) put into the collection plate at the church. We received this too from the funeral director but gave it back to the church.
I liked the fact that I dealt with the donations myself. I distributed the money to the nominated charities by writing a cheque myself but making it plain it was in memory of each of my parents.
Personally, when I attend a funeral, I put my donation in an envelope with "In memory of........................ "and then our names.0 -
I dealt with the money recently after the funeral. The funeral directors supplied a box and it said in the notice in the paper which charity it was for.
there was no money given directly to the undertakers.
When I give money I just put in at the end of the service.
why would you put on your name or indeed even need an envelope.Lost my soulmate so life is empty.
I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
Diana Gabaldon, Outlander0 -
Obviously different areas have different customs. Every funeral I have been to over the last few years (sadly too many), the mourners have put donations in envelopes.0
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Torry_Quine wrote: »why would you put on your name or indeed even need an envelope.
I normally do, as it lets the family know that you were there and that you followed their wishes.
It may be different if you are staying on to the funeral tea, if there are few mourners, or if you are very well known to the family; but I sometimes go to quite large funerals of old friends of my family. The bereaved family won't remember everyone, but I think they will like to do as I did - go through the envelopes and say "oh, that was X, kind of them to pay their respects"
On my parents' deaths, I sent personal thank yous to everyone who attended (and it was a lot!) so I appreciated the envelopes.0 -
I had envelopes given to me by the hospice I support, people put their details if desired so the donations can be gift aided. some people gave me cheques. We also had a hospice collecting box that we took to the charity obviously unopened.
Oh, also, the hospice took the names and continually wrote to people after - requesting further donations, some were not too happy about that.0 -
I really don't get this recent trend of giving money to charity at a funeral.
I can understand it more if it's for a hospice that looked after the person before they died, but other than that I don't see what comfort it gives the family.
I always send/take a card so that the family know I was there and flowers if they haven't been banned, but if they don't want flowers why ask for donations to a charity?Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear0 -
peachyprice wrote: »I really don't get this recent trend of giving money to charity at a funeral.
I can understand it more if it's for a hospice that looked after the person before they died, but other than that I don't see what comfort it gives the family.
I always send/take a card so that the family know I was there and flowers if they haven't been banned, but if they don't want flowers why ask for donations to a charity?
I haven't been to a funeral for some years that hasn't said "Family flowers only". The money that people would have spent on flowers can then be donated to a charity - in my experience, it's always been for a charity directly related to the death - hospice, Macmillan nurses, air ambulance or a support group like the Stroke Association.
Following the recent deaths in our family, we did get comfort from knowing that groups who had supported us would get some money from our funerals to continue their work with other people.
I think it makes a difference if it's a cremation rather than a burial. While the flowers can be left covering a grave, they seem pointless after a cremation service.
We had one large coffin spray from the family which was passed on to church flower arrangers who used the flowers. Nothing wasted!0
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