URGENT help needed - nearly homeless and broke!

Bassibabes

Hi,

Well I've decided it's time to get some help. I am a spendaholic and have a very bad relationship with money and my spending habits are awful. As a result of almost 20 years of being responsible for my own finances, I am now being evicted, have debt coming out of my eyeballs and have made the hard decision that my ex-husband will have to keep our two young boys for a few weeks as I cannot afford to feed them or get them to school.

The short term problem is that I have just over £125 per week coming in to keep me and three kids in a house (who I have joint custody of, my daughter being from a previous relationship) with food and getting places - never mind bills or any other expenses. I bought a car, rather foolishly, which costs £80+ a week in petrol and I have to pay a childminder £60 a week to have my youngest son whilst I am at college. I get £107 in tax credits for my two youngest children, my daughter's dad claims her tax credits as he has her five nights per week. I only get child benefit of £20.30 for the youngest child as my ex-husband gets the child benefit for our other son because we have joint custody - I have appealed this decision and lost, on the grounds that we have them the same amount of time.

As a mature single parent doing a degree, I am entitled to around £10,500 per year which I get in three lump sums in September, January and April. I also received a lump sum of £5000 as part of my divorce settlement - the rest of the settlement is tied up in the marital home and won't be seen for years. All of the money I received in September, January and the divorce settlement is gone because I am RUBBISH with money and have no-one to blame but myself for getting in this mess. Due to not paying my rent, even though I have received housing benefit to pay it, I am being evicted at the end of April and am trying to work with the local authority to find a house. With no credit, no deposit, no month's rent up front and a bad reference from my previous landlord (totally my fault) I am basically screwed.

In the long term, I need a service where I meet someone on a weekly basis to budget and help me learn to manage my finances. In the short term, I need some urgent help with housing and feeding my kids.

I seem to be getting doors slammed at each turn and, even though I know I am to blame, I am feeling about as low as I can. My husband kept everything as part of the divorce, so I don't have anything to sell. I can't afford to run the car from now so am asking my ex-husband to keep the boys as I am unable to afford to get the bus to school with them or feed them this week.

I have £7.66 in the bank and about £6 in my purse. That's until Wednesday and then I get £107.

Please can someone help - any ideas or inspiration on where to turn would be gratefully received. Thinking long term, if anyone can recommend a service to help me budget then that would be great.

I don't want to waffle on much more, but I can tell you what stuff I've tried if anyone wants to know.

Thanks xx

opinions4u

Debt-free Wannabe forum will help you best.

Upsidedown_Bear

I echo what opinions4u says - post this on the DFW board.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=76

jackyann

As the services available vary across different localities, it is difficult to make specific suggestions. I would begin by contacting these, as they will have ideas about signposting:
begin by finding your local CAB / welfare advice
go to your local council - they usually have debt / financial advice services connected to the housing dept.
your college / university who usually have a lot of information
your local church / chapel - they usually have links to food banks and sometimes other services
your children's school - they will usually know local links well - do they have some sort of "family support worker"?

I would also consider counselling. It might be appropriate now, or maybe you need practical help first. But asking your GP or university about hat "talking therapies" are available and what the waiting lists are may be good move.
Good luck

tibawo

Whilst I understand where you are coming from, my mind set is that if I do my clicks etc i actually pay for my Internet, I also use it to do mystery shops so I can give my girls treats that I wouldn't be able to stretch to and I use it for my work.

On the phone front I have a £1 contract which text/cals is fab for me and a lot cheaper than the phone box.

alanq

One should not assume that someone posting online has internet access in their home. They could be using a family member's computer or public access from a library.

Having internet access at home may more than pay for itself by finding best prices, online discounts for services. Shopping online could be cheaper than fares/petrol to reach the shops. etc. etc.

Bassibabes

I've moved the thread now - sorry it was in the wrong place. I appreciate that I am in debt but my immediate concern for the short and medium term is definitely the budgeting side of things, which is why I posted in here, but I've moved it now. In terms of debt, they can't have what I don't have can they? The way I look at it, the people I owe can wait a bit longer. I've spoken to the National Debtline and was in the process of sorting that side of things out, before everything else has happened.

I always think it's nice that people, some of whom are feeling quite low and desperate, can come onto forums and ask for help but I don't understand why other people (who say they've been in the same situation) then feel the need to take the high road and act as if they are better than the original poster. Always helps to get kicked when you're already at your lowest, I find. Possibly character building, eh? If you MUST know, I was in a free Wifi zone - yes, I have internet at home. This situation has escalated in the last few weeks so my bills are more or less up-to-date but I don't know how to pay the next one, so I probably will get cut off next month, some time. Thanks for making me feel even worse though - hope you slept well after your "helpful" post.

In response to what I've tried, I have already contacted the CAB, my church, my Uni, the council, Shelter, the Samaritans and various other organisations, that these places are referred me too. I've also tried applying for a Crisis Loan, which I didn't get approved for, as well as the local Credit Union.

I haven't thought about the kids' school, so will try them tomorrow - good idea, thanks.

No-one seems to be able to help accessing money in the short term and then helping me budget - which is what I need to help me.

paulwellerfan

OP when i worked with young people who were living in a flat for the first time. i asked the council to provide them with a tenency support worker. Saint Basils also do them.
i asked the worker to visit the young people on a weekly basis to help with budgetting, paying bills etc.
ask your local council if they can put a referal in for you.

jackyann

I do think that the last 2 posts highlight some of the difficulties of asking for general help.
I have worked in areas where any of the organisations that bassibabes has tried could have signposted her to the help that she wants. That they haven't means one of 2 things: that the kind of service she wants is not available locally, or possibly that she hasn't asked for it very specifically.
Paulwellerfan: do you know if Saint Basils offer this help nationwide? I don't know who they are. I have known several councils, housing associations & children's centres offer these budgeting courses & ine-to-one help, but has always been short term & local.

One more thing occurs to me - before you go to see the family support worker (again, their title varies from area to area). You could consider asking for a referral under the common assessment framework, as your children are "in need" (sorry, I know it sounds awful!) - your local council are obliged to consider any such referrals (again, the exact framework will vary) and it might just unearth the help you need.
Please don't dismiss the idea of counselling or talking therapies - whilst not giving you the advice you need immediately, it may help you to understand the behaviour that has led to this, and give you strength to cope in the future.
Good luck