Depressed, normal reaction, or both?

elsien

Basically, my get up and go has got up and gone.
I've had a pretty awful 6 months with a couple of bereavements, the last one was someone very close in January. Work is difficult due to being short-staffed and longer term issues relating to the current economic climate which are likely to get worse rather than better.
Haven't felt able to talk to my nearest and dearest as they really don't need to be hearing me moaning on when they're having a hard time as well.
And I've just got no enthusiasm for anything at the moment. Meant to be going on the holiday of a lifetime next week, and I'm sure I'll be fine once I'm there, but right now if it was cancelled tomorrow and I could hibernate at home I'd probably feel a bit relieved.
I've suffered from clinical depression in the past (a one off due to a particular set of circumstances) and I'm certainly not feeling like I did then. Or I don't think I am, anyway. But then again I didn't realise then how ill I was till it was too late and I'd completely lost the plot.

So I think my witterings are asking, how do I know when what I'm feeling is normal and I just have to give myself time, and when does it turn into a real problem?
Because quite honestly at the moment I don't think I trust my own judgement. And I do have a tendency to bottle things up.
Suggestions on a postcard please....

victory

If you have had clinical depression before you will know its like walking through treacle, everything goes black, it's impossible to function, to take an interest in anything, to find the strength to get out of bed...

Now you say you don't feel the same... Do you have your mental Heath contact numbers still?

Could you ring them and ask what they think?

OllysMum_2

(hugs)

Horrible when life throws so much at you at once. Two things, you've been there before so you're alert to the fact that depression might be looming. You got through it before you will do again if you have to.

Keep going until the holiday - might be just what you need. Are you going on holiday with the nearest and dearest? Might be good for you both to share your thoughts.
x

Alikay

Whether you're clinically depressed, feeling sad due to circumstances (ie "normal") or somewhere in between, the main thing is that you're aware of how you're feeling and have done your own personal little "risk assessment" for depression going on how you felt before.

I hope your holiday gives you a boost. With me, the time I most need a break is usually the time i feel I can't be bothered to pack etc as it's yet another job to do! Maybe continue to monitor how you feel and pop to the GP if you don't feel any better when you've been home a couple of weeks allowing for the usual post-holiday blues, of course!

Sorry to hear you've had a bad few months and hope you'll feel happier soon:)

elsien

No, too long ago now.
I think what's bothering me is that last time it was "keep going, keep going, keep going.....comatose" with no in-between. I really had no idea how bad things were till I started crying one day and just couldn't stop, at which point I just stopped functioning. I really thought I was ok until I hit that point. And although I hope I have a little more insight now, it worries me that I could do the same thing again.

suki1964

I would say reactive depression here

No wonder with what you have gone through lately

I would just be kind to yourself and not take on any more then you really feel you can cope with. And allow yourself to grieve your losses, jan is no time past at all, you must still very raw

You can ring cruse if you feel you can't talk to your partner. It may help

maryjanell79

I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time at the moment. The fact that you are aware of your emotions right now is a good start. It sounds like last time you weren't aware and depression crept up on you.

It might be worth contacting your GP and getting the number of a counselor. Sounds like you have had no one to talk to about this and its a weight building up. Most will let you call if you don't have time to see them. It might help take the weight off a little and will hopefully stop you worrying.

Worrying that you will hit rock bottom again will not help the situation.

I hope that helps, sounds like you need a break and just let everything catch up.

cavework

Hi Elsien,
Do you feel numb? Unable to give any more feelings to any of this?
I only ask because we might both be in the same situation. I didn't feel depressed just totally worn out .All feelings were exhausted and I just wanted the world to stop for a few days while I caught up.
you are being perfectly normal and if someone suggests you aren't it is them that have a problem not you
You go on that holiday but make sure you take some time for yourself, you have had a tough time , concentrate on you and what you need for a while.
Look after yourself , you deserve it.
xxxx

belfastgirl23

You know this all sounds perfectly normal to me. You're grief stricken. That's a natural part of life. For my money right now you don't need to medicalise it. If you get to a point where you really feel you aren't coping then by all means seek help. But for now give yourself permission to feel sad. This is an entirely reasonable response to grief. Please don't feel you are reacting oddly.

And don't expect this time to be the same as the last. Every situation is different. Take one day at a time.

(btw I always feel like you describe before going on holiday, classically a week before when I realise how much needs done before I go and I'm already a bit run down. This is much magnified if you've been having a stressful time)

Go on holiday. Cry. Laugh. Do what feels right for you!

Also as an aside, do try to look after yourself physically. Get a little exercise, eat well, don't drink too much and try to keep to a sleeping routine. These are baseline actions to help you feel well. And caring for yourself is good for you psychologically.