Friends Are Expensive

Muppet81

Honey_Bear wrote: »

The last time I went out to dinner at a friend's house I took a homemade quiche and a tomato salad as my contribution to the buffet. There were 21 of us, and everyone brought something to eat, and something to drink. We had a great time.

The time before that I took dessert, which was homemade brownies, whipped (whoopsied) cream and a punnet of (whoopsied) blueberries. If they hadn't been on offer, it would have been whatever was, or a fruit coulis from frozen fruit. I also took a batch of homemade ginger cookies which are to die for.

People take/give chocolates, I think, because they think they should take something, and some people were brought up to never arrive empty handed/take something for the house. You won't change them, so my suggestion would be to mix up some cookie dough, bake half of it for yourself when the oven's on anyway to check that it's absolutely delicious, and shove the other half, sliced or rolled into balls, into the freezer. Collect some pretty bags or just use ordinary plastic bags with a really pretty bow or ribbon on them and you'll have something homemade to bake on demand and to take as a gift.

Oooh! that all sounds lovely. Please would you like to come round to me for dinner

Muppet81

Once again, thanks to all of you for some lovely ideas.

it has been so nice to realise that I am not alone in how I am feeling and that there are other ways without necessarily loosing good and valued friends.

Steph12347

Muppet81 wrote: »

We have our own ex battery hens and I often take half a dozen eggs as a gift. This always seems to go down well.

I would love to be given eggs as a gift! So much better than chocolates. Making something like a cake etc is so much more thoughful than just quickly grabbing something expensive.

When we have friends round for dinner now I tend to just bulk out what ever we were planning on having any way (from our meal planner) and then bake a cake or something for desert.

TimBear

Does it have to be a meal? My girlfriends and I often meet up at someone's house for a 'brew night'. We just drink tea, and perhaps we'll bring some biscuits. We can have a catch up and it costs pennies.

For us too this works particularly well as half of the group have very young children so they can bring the children with them if they want, and it's very informal so if they need to go home for whatever reason we don't think anything of it.

kettlenic

If your friends live locally then do a travelling supper (would be better in the summer!!) you start at one house for starters, walk to the next house for main and then another house for dessert. its fun!!

Arrange to meet for a ramble instead - does not always have to be food related or a free museum trip. also if everyone brings something baked do an afternoon tea?

Muppet81

kettlenic wrote: »

If your friends live locally then do a travelling supper (would be better in the summer!!) you start at one house for starters, walk to the next house for main and then another house for dessert. its fun!!

Arrange to meet for a ramble instead - does not always have to be food related or a free museum trip. also if everyone brings something baked do an afternoon tea?

We have just got involved in the local "progressive dinner". Up to 50 people involved but only 8 max at any property and you meet differant people for each course. Have not done one before but have said we will join the one in May this year. Sounds like a brilliantly organised event.

Newgirl_2

I can't add much more to what's been said other than if they are real friends they should understand given the situation. I sadly lost touch with two groups of friends after we had to cut back as they didn't like the fact we coudn't go out for meals all the time like they wanted to. We discussed holding evenings at our houses and they went for that but then expected the nights out as well. Fair weather friends sadly.

As for bringing gifts for the hostess, again if they know your financial situation,perhaps they aren't expecting you to reciprocate and it could just be a pressure you're putting on yourself. I would talk to them and take it from there.

For me personally, I know lots of people who spend way too much on entertaining and social events and I think to do that is missing the point of why you're spending time wtth these people in the first place.

Good luck

Honey_Bear

Newgirl wrote: »

I sadly lost touch with two groups of friends after we had to cut back as they didn't like the fact we couldn't go out for meals all the time like they wanted to. We discussed holding evenings at our houses and they went for that but then expected the nights out as well. Fair weather friends sadly.

While it comes as a shock when you're unceremoniously dumped because you're no longer as wealthy as you once were, isn't it better to know that they would have let you down anyway? I've come to the conclusion we're all far better off knowing who our real friends are when push comes to shove. Don't be sad - just be grateful you never had to count on them in your hour of need.

Muppet81 wrote: »

Oooh! that all sounds lovely. Please would you like to come round to me for dinner

Anytime! Always up for a great night out. What would you like me to bring - nibbles and dips, starter, main course, veg, dessert or cheese? I'll be bringing a bottle of red if it's after Lent, but in the meantime it'll be something non-alcoholic.

Muppet81

It's a date

colinthecockrel

This is a great thread, and has made me want to start inviting friends around more and not worry about how perfect my menu is! I worry that it's not quite good enough, but like many of you have said, friends are (hopefully) coming to spend a nice evening together, rather than judging the food/drink, etc. I'm much happier cooking good, regular meals, than anything fancy. Thanks OP.