Friends Are Expensive

Muppet81

OH recently took voluntary redundancy and I have spent a great deal of time and effort examining our finances now and projected for the next 40 years (in so far as you can so far ahead).

Believe we can live fairly well and manage on what we have

BUT

We are very fortunate and have a lot of very good friends who are in several different circles.

Love them all dearly and would hate to loose any of them but how do we manage them.

I love to have them to our home and to cook for them and I know that none of them expect caviar and champagne, all are lovely and unassuming but it all costs. I view this as a cheaper option than eating out but still costly. They do all reciprocate so it is not a one way deal.

Each circle involves various social get togethers and although only simple affairs ie in a pub, by the time we pay for petrol, a couple of drinks, raffle tickets etc, no change from £20.

Finding that it is our socialising budget which is most months running over budget. Need to sort this but do not want to loose friends.

Any ideas would be welcome.

lindseykim13

Offer to pay for your own drinks when going out and stick to water or fiizzy instead?
For when you have friends over for dinner-we often have family barbeques and we all bring something along to spread the cost. Using the same idea and depending on what you had for dinner you could all bring a different dish along and share it out.
Or offer to do dinner and your guests bring dessert and drinks?

Or have friends over for lunch instead and have sarnies, cakes and tea which would be much cheaper.

You could meet for picnics in the summer and all bring your own food.

Pink.

Sorry to hear about what's going on with you at the moment.

Friends don't have to be expensive, especially if they are true friends. Can you explain the situation and tell them you would love to have them round but perhaps everyone makes a different course for the meal?

In these times when money is short for everyone, you might find that they might be grateful for the idea which takes the onus off one couple to provide for everyone for the night and spreads the cost a bit. It can also be great fun!

If you want some cheap recipe ideas, let me know and I'll dig out the links to threads.

Pink

Pooky

We have friends over for a games night now instead of dinner. We all need to cut costs so suggested a 7pm start and that if you want a drink or nibbles bring them, that way people eat before they come and are happy to bring a bottle of wine or soft drink and a few bags of nuts/crisps or a couple of dips. It works well for us. I normally make something warm dependant on what I've got in, a bowl of potato wedges to go with dips or maybe a pud if there's stuff that needs using. We play cards, board games and quizzes and as all our kids are teens they come along and join in (and they love it). It makes for a lovely cheap evening and if you get imaginative you can use up all your left over bits and bobs with a home made dip or salsa.

Popperwell

Agree with the original post and the ideas that have followed. It looks to me as though we are returning more than ever(not always by choice)to more entertaining at home and...using simple ways to amuse such as cards, board games, writing games etc...and the like. Wonder how long before we are having musicnights and people singing around a piano. And I don't mean that as a snide joke...

No wonder many entertainment businesses are struggling especially outside of the big cities...

As said if I use a taxi(bus service is poor)to a free music night on the town factor in a drink and raffle that's £10 so for a couple that's £20. So I try to walk there at least one way and recently have cut back to one strip of tickets and a half a lemonade.

Last of the big spenders. Many are having to do this...

That's not a complaint I love this evening and getting into company but it shows how it all adds up.

madnotstupid

Can you budget in the elements of your entertaining at home over a few shops? for example buy the meat part of a main course and freeze it one week, the next buy a bottle of wine, the next a frozen dessert? Much like lots of people do in the run up to Christmas, just to spread the expense for the meal. Then when it's your turn to host you won't have to spend a mint buying everything at once.

trulymadlydeeply_indebt!

I was having a similar problem last year with my group of friends and on an expensive weekend away I mentioned it and the relief was enormous. There are about 10 of us in the group and we were all contributing £20 to presents for the person whose birthday it was, on top of a night out in town and a meal. It was getting seriously crazy.

I suggested that we go the birthday girl's house and each take booze of our choice and order a takeaway to be delivered, the rule being that the birthday girl doesn't pay for her own takeaway, therefore the other 9 each chip in about an extra £1.

I said that although I was extremely grateful for the gifts, I would much prefer to have their company. It's my birthday next week and I'm really looking forward to the Chinese that has been suggested.

Now, instead of expensive weekend city breaks, we have recently booked a camping barn, had long walks and created food theme nights - Our Mexican night was brilliant, with everyone contributing dishes to the meal, washed down with bottles of Desperado and Corona whilst howling with laughter at Bridesmaids!

Just bite the bullet and ask everyone how they feel about changing the layout - as I have found, they may be gratefully relieved.

Good luck

TMD xx

fawd1

Also, don't forget that you can just have friends round without too much faff. One person brings a side dish, one a dessert, one a bottle of wine etc etc. I have friends round for dinner loads, and they're usually fed whatever I was planning to make anyway (they pop round with short notice mainly) So, if I was making a spag bol, that's dinner, I just make a bit more. Even when I had eight people round, I made a chicken and chorizo stew, can't have cost me more than 8 quid max, 3 girls bought a bottle, one a dessert and the other a salad. They're there for the company. The more relaxed and informal the better.

Muppet81

Thank you all very much for the ideas. Sorry I have only just managed to get back on to read them all.

I love the idea of everone bringing a part of the meal and will brace myself and suggest it.

Also like the idea of doing lunch rather than evening meal as that way a much lighter meal can be offered. Picnics are lovely and we already do tend to do that a few times a year. Last one was up at Beamish Museum, in the bandstand with us all dressed in 1940s clothing (we do reenacting as a hobby) it was wonderful. if only our British weather was a bit more helpful on the picnic/BBQ front

One other question ..... how do people manage to stop friends bringing chocolates and flowers and other gifts when they do a meal. I ask them not to but they still do so when I go to them, I feel I have to reciprocate. All adds to what should be a cheaper way of socialising. Surprises me really as all but one couple of our friends are admitting that they are struggling and worrying for the future.

At the end of the day, I know how lucky we are to have such lovely friends and a way will be found to economise.
Thanks for your support. Would you like to pop round for a meal :eek::eek::eek::eek: Oh no........ that is how it all started

paddyrg

Go back to simpler foods - you may find other friends are also feeling the pinch and will welcome the opportunity to end the arms escalation of dinner parties. Cook less fashionable meat cuts, knock up a trifle, forget about starters etc. Wine boxes are often cheaper than bottles, and there are perfectly drinkable ones or people can bring their own. You can suggest car sharing/splitting a taxi maybe as well.

The thing is in this age of 'food pr0n TV' people forget the most important part of the meal is the sharing of it. It's got out of hand, most people actually rather like a nice bit of fish done simply as opposed to knowing the host has bust a gut trying to emulate TV cooking. You can make tasty noodle dishes for next to nothing - everyone will be impressed and you'll save a mint ;-)

Muppet81

paddyrg wrote: »

Go back to simpler foods - you may find other friends are also feeling the pinch and will welcome the opportunity to end the arms escalation of dinner parties. Cook less fashionable meat cuts, knock up a trifle, forget about starters etc. Wine boxes are often cheaper than bottles, and there are perfectly drinkable ones or people can bring their own. You can suggest car sharing/splitting a taxi maybe as well.

The thing is in this age of 'food pr0n TV' people forget the most important part of the meal is the sharing of it. It's got out of hand, most people actually rather like a nice bit of fish done simply as opposed to knowing the host has bust a gut trying to emulate TV cooking. You can make tasty noodle dishes for next to nothing - everyone will be impressed and you'll save a mint ;-)

You are so right! Yes .... the sharing and caring is the all important bit. Thanks