I've messed up and I don't know what to do

cockaleekee

Faith177 wrote: »

I have and it just mentions the stages ect but I'm just really stressed cause I know have to wait 4 days till they decide what to do

Then you need to calm down, there is nothing you can do to make the news come about any quicker. In the meantime, perhaps you could spend some time thinking about how you come across at work - and how you can change that.

Angry_Fanboy

To me you sound like you're a bit of a bully who likes to try and belittle people on the phone by calling them derogatory names to make yourself feel important.

You were big enough to call colleagues names down the phone and act in an inappropriate manner, so be big enough to face the consequences now.

Job done.

Faith177

Angry_Fanboy wrote: »

To me you sound like you're a bit of a bully who likes to try and belittle people on the phone by calling them derogatory names to make yourself feel important.

You were big enough to call colleagues names down the phone and act in an inappropriate manner, so be big enough to face the consequences now.

Job done.

You don't know the nature of my work, you don't in what context I was calling someone stupid or why I called them that. It was not a colleague as I would never say something like that about someone I work with.

I am not a bully never have been and never will be. In fact in my life it has normally been the case that I have been bullied rather than being the bullier.

I am fully prepared to face the consequences but came here looking for a little advice and help as I have no-one else to talk to

Angry_Fanboy

Faith177 wrote: »

You don't know the nature of my work, you don't in what context I was calling someone stupid or why I called them that. It was not a colleague as I would never say something like that about someone I work with.

I can only base my opinion on the information given.

You have posted on an open forum in order to elicit responses, and I gave you mine.

Faith177 wrote: »

I am not a bully never have been and never will be. In fact in my life it has normally been the case that I have been bullied rather than being the bullier.

It's interesting how often bullies will use that as a defence.

Calling people derogatory names will be classed as workplace bullying when a complaint is made however.

Faith177 wrote: »

I am fully prepared to face the consequences but came here looking for a little advice and help as I have no-one else to talk to

What advice can be given other than stop calling people names and acting inappropriately in the workplace?

Faith177

Well I then thank you for your opinion and advice.

Angry_Fanboy

Faith177 wrote: »

Well I then thank you for your opinion and advice.

No problem.

I hope your impending disciplinary results in the correct outcome, whatever that may be.

Tiddlywinks

Faith177 wrote: »

You don't know the nature of my work, you don't in what context I was calling someone stupid or why I called them that. It was not a colleague as I would never say something like that about someone I work with.

Is it ever appropriate for a conversation where you swear and call people stupid to be made in front of colleagues at a volume where they can overhear what you've said?

If colleagues can hear it then so can anyone they may be talking to if they are also on the phone at the same time - that then reflects badly on the organisation as well as you.

Employers look at the whole picture - you have aready had issues that were addressed with action plans. Now your behaviour is being called into question (and they have asked about a possible personal relationship with a colleague)... all of these things build a bigger picture for an employer - one that looks like 'trouble'.

You need to look closely at your actions and how you appear to others. In the title, you say you've messed up BUT you don't really seem to *get it*.

You need to appear contrite and willing to change when you next have a meeting and fully demonstrate to them that you have understood why the behaviour was unacceptable..... give a full apology and say you are willing to undertake any retraining available.

Faith177

This has really shook me and up and I have already said I will do anything to rectify the situation. I am thinking things through already and have a few things to start implementing straight away.

The conversations they are talking about are conducted over a phone. The people I have to get a decision from including the one I was asked about are based in an office some 40 miles away we actually see them in person maybe once every 3-4 months for about 10 mins.

I am not the only one that refers to external callers as stupid ect others do too. I know this is not an excuse and I shouldn't do things that others do ect but just so you know I'm not the only one who does it. It is the nature of the queries that we deal with that some leave you more frustrated than others.

I probably haven't made this clear enough but when I have called people stupid it has never been about people I work with only external companies I know this again is not an excuse but I don't want people thinking I bully my workmates cause I really don't

jobbingmusician

I think that in your position I would say to the employer that you had heard other people in the office call people stupid, thought it was the company norm, but you'd been really shocked that they were intending to discipline you for this. It's made you think about your behaviour and realise that it could possibly give a negative impression of the company, so you intend to work on your phone manner and be far more pleasant and tactful in the future.

If they are really resolved to sack you, this may not help, but in any other scenario I think it will help you to come across as an honest and open person who is a reflective worker and willing to change. After all, a disciplinary is SUPPOSED to be a process to help you improve to the standard required to perform your job to the standard required. Who knows, this disciplinary may actually fulfill this purpose!

Faith177

jobbingmusician wrote: »

I think that in your position I would say to the employer that you had heard other people in the office call people stupid, thought it was the company norm, but you'd been really shocked that they were intending to discipline you for this. It's made you think about your behaviour and realise that it could possibly give a negative impression of the company, so you intend to work on your phone manner and be far more pleasant and tactful in the future.

If they are really resolved to sack you, this may not help, but in any other scenario I think it will help you to come across as an honest and open person who is a reflective worker and willing to change. After all, a disciplinary is SUPPOSED to be a process to help you improve to the standard required to perform your job to the standard required. Who knows, this disciplinary may actually fulfill this purpose!

The thing in my favour is also that the problem is only on internal call. We have audits on external and I always score very highly in these every month and I get lots of positive feedback from other companies so that shows I can do it.

I think you're right about it helping if i get a warning ect. I think this will really help me in turning this around