Will Advice

joanne79

Hi my partners mum sadly died last February after battling Parkinson's. It had always been said by both his parents that when one goes everything would go to next and then eventually to there son,though he is 100% certain that both his mum and dad had a will. But after his mums death there was absolutely no mention of his mums will and he finds that strange ? While his mum was Ill there where many carers coming in and out,and wether this was done on purpose or not we don't know,but one carer really got her claws into his dad. She used to take her daughter with her into there home...I don't know why and think this is wrong...but since his mum died things have been crazy.our suspicions where raised when he said a new tv had blown up so he threw it out,we later read he had given it to said family.it then came out that he had bought her daughter a new scooter for her 16th birthday,paid for insurance,tax and lessons. The list is endless it goes on. We feel this family have taken total advantage of a vulnerable man and have no idea what to do. My partner has now been informed he will get 50% when his dad goes as he has written carer and daughter into the will ?? It's all very strange and we are unsure what to do...my partner did mention to his dad he was worried he was being taken advantage of...but he just flew off the handle, so are at a loss now. I did look into wether there was a clause about a carer having contact with a family after a death, and there is one.. But she left the company she was working for....Just wondered what others think ??

spaulding82

this is suspicious, I too would be concerned. Are you able to get a copy of the will and see when it was written and who witnessed it? I would suggest seeing a solicitor in a case like this
How is the carer employed? If its through an agency, call that agency straight away and tell them of your concerns. I would highly think they would look down upon this,especially since shes bring her child into the home. And using his money to buy her and her child things. I know you said shes not with the company anymore, but how is she still caring for your dad? Is he paying her out of his pocket? If so I would get social services involved. If your father is classed as vulnerable When my FIL was ill, he wanted to get a carer, and even someone hired privatly and not through a company has to go through a CRB check.
good luck

AlexMac

If the carer or their employing agency was commissioned by the local authority, I suspect there is specific ruling against this kind of grooming or coercion. If the care was privately purchased, without Social Services' involvement, then you might need to take independent legal advice, But why not start with the local authority Adult Care Commissioner?

joanne79

Hi thanks for the replys .she was employed I guess through and agency on local authority's books from what I gather as when his mum came out of hospital they arranged the carers. There where 4 carers 4 times a day so wasn't just this one carer...and was all arranged by authority's. When I looked into wether she had done anything wrong in carrying on the relationship after his mum died...she had according to agency, but by then she had already left,she left just after his mum died. No she is not a carer for his dad...in my opinion a letch who has sucked in a very old and vulnerable man...there is no way her daughter should have been there...and no such contact after..I think I read about 6 months after...but that didn't matter to her as she left. You think adult care commissioner could help? It's such a difficult position because obviously my partner doesn't want to fall out with his dad, but doesn't want to see him taken advantage of either. A new scooter ...tax insurance and lessons...now if an older man bought my daughter these things I would say there absolutely no way you are accepting these...clearly her mother doesn't care ...it's all very strange. Wouldn't really want to get solicitors involved where his dad is concerned,but is strange that there was never any mention of his mums will after her death? Surely it could not just have been ignored...we wondered if we could do a search for it ? Maybe it would show up there ?

NAR

But tread carefully you don't want to cause any more ill feeling, in case he changes his will again!

joanne79

It doesn't end there...he has purchased them phones...helped with the mothers wedding...it's difficult to know what to do without upsetting his dad :-( . There is also no way the carer and her daughter should be written into the will either...he has only known them 18 months..surely his mums will would stop this...if she has made her wishes known in it ? Or does it all goes to his dad and he then can change his will as he pleases ? It's such a hard situation and appreciate any advice

joanne79

NAR wrote: »

But tread carefully you don't want to cause any more ill feeling, in case he changes his will again!

We are not bothered about this...it's just sad to sit back and watch. His mum sisters where there a lot through the illness and if anything these are the people that should be remembered...not this woman and her daughter...but as you say we definitely don't want to fall out with his dad...well as its his dad

Mojisola

joanne79 wrote: »

It doesn't end there...he has purchased them phones...helped with the mothers wedding...it's difficult to know what to do without upsetting his dad :-( . There is also no way the carer and her daughter should be written into the will either...he has only known them 18 months..surely his mums will would stop this...if she has made her wishes known in it ? Or does it all goes to his dad and he then can change his will as he pleases ? It's such a hard situation and appreciate any advice

It's likely that his mother's will would have left everything to her husband. What he does with the money is his decision.

If his father would agree, it would be worth looking at getting power of attorney sorted out.

Do you know whether he used a solicitor to make the new will and where it is stored?

These people - https://www.elderabuse.org.uk/ - should also be able to help.

madbadrob

Unfortunately mirror wills mean nothing after one partner as died. The surviving spouse can do as they wish. I would look at involving the police in this matter as it sounds very much like a deception could have occurred here. As others have said it may be worth looking into having a LPA however if the person in question is of sound mind this could well fail. At the very least I would use the free 30 mins consultation with a solicitor to see what legal grounds they could use to stop anything more being milked away

Rob

joanne79

Hi yes he did use a solicitor,though where it's stored I'm not sure. That link is great thanks mojisola,will give them a ring for some advice.i figured it would be that way rob..that's why nothing was ever heard of it I guess. This woman has totally abused her position IMO,we knew it was coming and so did she and has taken total advantage of him. This is it though he is of sound mind..though grieving for losing his wife of 50 years, so I would say not,lots of strange things happening,he went on an imaginary holiday for a month..we totally believed he was away until we spoke to family near him..and Found he wasn't,but the details he gave where like he was there. I'm not sure what his uncle is...executor maybe ? But with everything that has happened haas said he won't do it because it's all wrong. I wonder if we all sat down with him...we just dont want to alienate ourselves from him..because he needs us..though he may not realise at the moment because he has them :-( thanks everyone for your help

troubleinparadise

Sadly it sounds as though your partner's father has probably made some poor decisions when at a low ebb; this person has profitted by being there when he was grieving and lonely, and seemed to bring light and comfort at a bad time.

There have been a couple of threads on this section of the board in the last few days on just this subject.

Is it possible to become a bit more involved in his life to try to give him emotional support that has his best needs at the heart of it? Right now it sounds as though he is almost buying the "friendship" of this woman and her family.

Obviously it is his money and he has the total right to make his own choices as to how he spends it. But you may end up picking up the pieces once the money has run out, or he starts to question the cost of the friendship.