Oh Brother! I need to help him....

pinkshoes

He should WRITE to his wife, giving her 28 days to show evidence of ALL debts owed. List them if he can...

It should go on to say that if she fails to provide this information, he will have no other option but to stop paying the £1000 a month, and pay the recommended CSA payment of 10% (or whatever it is now for 1 child).

If he's about to take her funds away, she might start playing ball.

Send it with proof of purchase.

loveasale

pinkshoes wrote: »

He should WRITE to his wife, giving her 28 days to show evidence of ALL debts owed. List them if he can...

It should go on to say that if she fails to provide this information, he will have no other option but to stop paying the £1000 a month, and pay the recommended CSA payment of 10% (or whatever it is now for 1 child).

If he's about to take her funds away, she might start playing ball.

Send it with proof of purchase.

This is what I have said to him.

pinkshoes

loveasale wrote: »

This is what I have said to him.

In which case, divert him to this thread, and tell him to grow a pair!!

He needs to be very specific in his letter, giving a date by which she needs to give the information, and if she doesn't, then he needs to alter his payment to the minimum amount that CSA would make him pay, then put the rest aside.

Ultimately, they need to wind up the marriage and split the debts.

loveasale

Gigglepig wrote: »

If their finances have not been settled yet perhaps the 1k he is paying is towards debt they are jointly responsible for.

If the 13yo is disabled, working might not be an option for ex-sil, and he is trying to be a responsible parent?

perhaps you should not judge him as a fool when you don't know the full circumstances?

SIL has never worked, even before she had autistic child, she's always out so too busy to get a job.
Middle child is always in so they end up being sitter!

[Deleted User]

Maybe he should take a look at all three of his credit reports to see how many and what debts are actually in his name or joint debts?

loveasale

The rest of my family and he's work mates ( don't think he has friends as never been able to go out!) all get really angry with him and its got him nowhere, I'm the only calm one left to help, and I will help him, it's so sad as he is now not half the man he was, poor thing!
It's like he's forgotten what 'normal' is!

loveasale

Domino9 wrote: »

Maybe he should take a look at all three of his credit reports to see how many and what debts are actually in his name or joint debts?

What a brill idea! Thanks so very much!!!!

loveasale

I have told him that I'm gonna be on here getting all you good folk to help!
He knows this forum was my saviour when my life was a mess!

gizmo111

He will get a free half hour legal advice

This forum is brilliant for advice www.ondivorce.co.uk

LannieDuck

You don't need to worry about legal advice, simply threaten to stop paying the £1000/mth which he's currently under no legal obligation to do.

i) Stop paying the £1000 to SIL, work out what he'd have to pay through CSA, and just pay that.
ii) Say that he'll pay 1/2 the debt if she can give him paperwork proving the amount (and that it was jointly accrued). He needs to know the total amounts that he owes. At the moment he has no way of knowing whether she's racking up more debt that she's going to get him to pay.
iii) Get in contact with a debt management organisation and get the interest on the debts frozen. Arrange payment plans. Does he even know whether his repayments are making a dent in the amount of debt?

Honestly, with a 13yo child there's no reason the mother needs to be a full-time carer. She has plenty of opportunity for a small part-time job during school hours. Or your brother could take 13yo child at weekends (and reduce his CSA payments by 2/7th) and SIL could get a weekend job.