Money or fulfillment?

pmlindyloo

Forgive me if I've wrong but it sounds as if you feel a little bit 'guilty' about not taking the full time job now your children are getting older.

What does your OH feel about it?

Does he work long hours?

I think this really needs to be a joint decision (if you get the choice of both jobs!) Some men I know feel quite resentful if the OH only works part time (and spend time doing their hobbies) and could work full time to enable them to have the luxuries.

Does your OH feel you should be working full time or is he happy for you to work part time?

Would the extra money make that much more difference? Better holidays for example?

Personally, if OH is happy then I would go for the part time since money isn't a big issue.

Please don't consider this (anyone!) as being 'downtrodden' as regards speaking to OH. A resentful man is not fun!

JodyBPM

pmlindyloo wrote: »

Forgive me if I've wrong but it sounds as if you feel a little bit 'guilty' about not taking the full time job now your children are getting older.

Yes, I think you've hit the nail on the head.

What does your OH feel about it?

He thinks I should do whatever makes me happy, and will support me in anything I choose.

Does he work long hours?

Yes, fairly.

I think this really needs to be a joint decision (if you get the choice of both jobs!) Some men I know feel quite resentful if the OH only works part time (and spend time doing their hobbies) and could work full time to enable them to have the luxuries.

Does your OH feel you should be working full time or is he happy for you to work part time?

Honestly, there's no pressure at all from DH to go back full time.

Would the extra money make that much more difference? Better holidays for example?

Initially the extra money would probably go into savings. Longer term probably we'd move to a bigger house. The money would also come in handy *if* we decide to go down the private education route for our children, but we're not sure if that is a route we will take.

Personally, if OH is happy then I would go for the part time since money isn't a big issue.

Please don't consider this (anyone!) as being 'downtrodden' as regards speaking to OH. A resentful man is not fun!

My DH won't be resentful, whatever I do. He's very supportive - I'm very lucky in that respect.

Sambucus_Nigra

At the moment, if you need to work, then you need to prep for both jobs.

So get off MSE and go get both of them.

Then - you have a dilemma. Until then, you don't.

peachyprice

My dream job came up about 6 months ago, it was so absolutely perfect and they were very interested in me, the only drawback was that it was full time.

I very nearly went for it, then I sat down and thought what it would mean to us as a family if I worked full time and decided it just wasn't worth losing the life we have just yet.

It would have meant leaving home before the children left for school, getting home after they got home, rushing through cooking, squeezing even more into weekends, children having to give up activities that didn't fit in with a full time schedule or relying on the goodwill of other parents.

Although we're by no means well off and could do with the extra money, I have an easy life now, everything fits, the things that we lose out on financially (which isn't much really) pale into insignificance compared to the dynamics of our family life.

I'm not saying that it will always be this way, I'm sure once my youngest is older I will revisit the idea of full time work, but right here, right now, it's just not for 'us'.

bagpussbear

If it was me I would actually go for option 1.

Option 2 does have your hours you want, but I know the M25 is a stressful place!

If you took option 1, and felt after a few months it was too much/or the wrong decision, and you wanted to be back at home more, you could then look for another part time job, and in the meantime you would have put away a nice little sum of savings couldn't you?

all the best

Joons

In this job market, you're doing well, and lucky to not have to work for the money like I do! Mortgaged until I'm 65 so no way out, I'm happy though but you should wait and see what you think at the interviews and then make your decision.

Dunroamin

JodyBPM wrote: »

Thanks guys.

Just to clear up a few things - I currently work part time, so I know I won't be bored as I have plenty of hobbies. I certainly don't sit around twiddling my thumbs waiting for the children to come home:)

The part time, lower paid job is more interesting to me. They are both in the same broad field, but the higher paid one I think would be quite dry and technical, whereas the lower paid one is a bit softer and more people orientated, which I would enjoy more.

The cut of £6k from my existing salary is FTE. As I only work 0.5, it would only equate to £3k less tax and NI in my pocket. The pay cut certainly wouldn't cause us financial hardship, but its just a bit galling to devalue myself.

The £1500 difference is mainly due to the other job being full time, plus being £10k higher paid. I guess I could see if part time hours were possible in this job, but even then, the other job appeals more because of the role itself.

Now the children are getting older (just heading into juniors) I do think that I've had the luxury of being part time for many years, and it would be perfectly reasonable for me to work full time again. I feel it would be the right thing to do for my career and my finances to go full time on the higher salary. But I *want* to do the lower paid job and to work part-time.

I need to prepare for the interviews today, and I keep sliding back to prepping for job 2, although job 1 is more technical, and therefore I should be putting more prep work in!

Deep down, I think I know what I want, but just needed you guys to reassure me. It's a hard thing to do to make a decision that, on paper, seems like the least sensible option!

Although I think you've already decided, the bit I've highlighted seems to me to be the most important thing you've said.

I wish you luck in whatever you choose, but just want to add, how secure is your husband's job?

Dunroamin

Person_one wrote: »

She said in the OP that the part time job appeals more anyway.

Also, why would she just be sitting around? Is that what you used to do whenever you weren't working?

By "sitting around" I meant housework etc.; I'm surprised you're advocating it as fulfilment for a woman.

Person_one

Dunroamin wrote: »

By "sitting around" I meant housework etc.; I'm surprised you're advocating it as fulfilment for a woman.

I deleted my post as the OP had already answered your points.

I know you meant housework, but that's a bizarrely narrow view of what a woman can spend her time on! As if the only options are work or domestic drudgery!

CH27

Dunroamin wrote: »

By "sitting around" I meant housework etc.; I'm surprised you're advocating it as fulfilment for a woman.

People are fulfilled by different things.
I found it very fulfilling to be there for my family, to have everywhere clean & tidy so we could enjoy family time at the weekend.

Different things are fulfilling at different stages. The trick is to recognise what is right at a certain time.