Up the duff!

G_M

paskwal wrote: »

Thanks G_M, but this thread isn't really about wether or not we should keep it.

The situation is now more of a crisis, as this week we learned that we are expecting a baby.

What are our options if any? We can't stay here, but we have nowhere else to go..

:silenced: ............................

paskwal

I don't really want to get into the specifics, but staying with family is really not an option. Thank you though x

marathonic

You're going to have to give some lee-way somewhere. Either your family have a good relationship with you and you can move in or they don't which means that you don't need to stay near them.

Move somewhere cheaper to rent or move in with friends or family are really the only two options if income, including benefits, is not going to sustain you.

From the title of your thread, you seem quite young and perhaps it's naivety that makes you think there's another way.

But if you do find that there is some sort of knight in shining armour that goes around giving people deposits for new rental accommodation, be sure to let me know.

ognum

Congratulations on the pregnancy, long it's time for you to work your way out of the difficult situation your are both in.

I think you need to stay where you are at least in the short term, I understand it is not what you want but I don't think you have a choice. If you make yourself homeless you will get little or no help.

Next, talk to your families, I know you say you can't but you may just have to, see if they will lend you some money or act as a gaurantor for you. Perhaps the thought of a grandchild will make e difference.

If you could find someone to let you move in to save and improve your credit rating that might help.

Look to how to improve your income, I know you say you can't but maybe you could get an evening job where your girlfriend works. Could you look for a job that included accomodation. deliver leaflets in the evening anything to improve your income.

Cut back on luxuries, eat homemade cheap food, no bought sandwiches and coffees etc.

You are going to have to work your way out of this. Try looking at the Shelter website for your options.

marathonic

Are you registered on the electoral registrar at your address even? If not, do this ASAP as it's free and it's one of the things that could help you in the near future.

Tixy

Personally I'd be getting out of that situation even if it means sofa surfing sleeping on friend / families floors for a couple of weeks. It might not be fun but it sounds better than where you are. If you could call in favours from all your friends etc and manage that for a month then you'd be able to save a month's rent to put towards a deposit, and it will be easier to do it now rather than when ex is heavily pregnant.

As she is a student could she talk to her student funding department etc and see if they can help with any discretionay funding in the circumstances? Or possibly even if there are any halls she could live in short term (any vacancies from people who have left part way through the year and are vacant for the rest of this year?) - something like the access to learning fund or emergency loan - http://www.brighton.ac.uk/studentlife/money/bursaries-and-financial-support/

marathonic

All the above posts are attempting to deal with the short term issue which, I must admit, is the most pressing.

However, there are a few long-term facts you need to take into account:

• Your own income is extrmely low
• She is near final year in university
• When graduated, her salary will exceed yours
• To get the best salary available to her, you will probably be moving to a different area
• As your income is lower than what you'd pay for child support, if all works out well, you're likely to become a stay-at-home dad

Taking the above into account, did you give REAL consideration to the possibility of her completing her final year?

Where does the period that she will be heavily pregnant tie in with the portion of the school year - in an ideal world, she could potentially complete the final year if the late part of the pregnancy is over holiday periods or, at least, away from exam periods.

In the vast majority of cases where couples end up in the above scenario, I'd imagine it ends up in a break-down of the relationship. I'm not saying this will happen to you but relationships are hard enough without significant financial pressure. I'd say the typical female in the above situation probably ends up a single mother who never completes her third level course.

If the reason you can't move in with parents is that one of your parents doesn't get on with the partner, then you're better both going home separately now until such times as the financial situation is easier. Better to be apart and sort out things in the short term than be stressed out in the long term.

mrsbmartin

Hi...if I were you I would try and stay on the houseshare route...it's the cheapest option for you atm. Not too sure whereabouts in Brighton you are (I used to live in Kemptown and was in a houseshare there - it was at least 50% cheaper than it would have been to rent a nasty bedsit).

Post ads on all of the relevant houseshare websites, be honest about the situation and hopefully you will hear something back...you certainly have nothing to lose as most of the sites are free. If you currently pay £125pw then you may be able to advertise that you are looking to pay £100pw but would pay £125 for x no of weeks to build up a deposit?!

Like I said...always worth a shot. And there may be hardship grants via the uni etc (as Tixy said) that could put maybe 1/2 of the deposit down?

Good luck with it all (and don't forget freecycle for the baby stuff...you probably won't have to buy the cot/pushchair/moses basket/clothes etc...there is always baby stuff coming up on my local freecycle sites which will help you lots.

tim123456789

mrsbmartin wrote: »

Hi...if I were you I would try and stay on the houseshare route....

Can't imagine too many house sharers being too keen on a balling 2 month old kid

tim

BigAunty

paskwal wrote: »

...

What I mean is are there any schemes or local associations that could help?

Sorry, what are you expecting these schemes or associations to provide? Contraception/family planning advice? Cheap accommodation?

There are benefits and there is employment income, those are your main options, if family cannot prevail.

If it's social housing that you are after, you are probably already aware that Brighton is completely impoverished on that front - few social housing properties, huge demand, and you won't necessarily be a priority - the council can barely cope with its statutory obligations to house the homeless, so a knocked up low income couple is fairly low or no priority. Nothing to stop you applying for council and housing association properties, though.

£250 a week doesn't sound much for a full time employment, part time employment and student income (loan, grant, etc). A person in full time NMW employment (over the age of 21) nets around £195 a week.

Download the MSE budget planner - that's a good help to determine exactly your income and outgoings. Work through the MSE site to identify how to slash your expenses.

The Turn2us online benefit calculator is good to help you model benefit entitlements, including pre and post baby, but it's not much use when there is student income - it can't cope with calculating this. You could also ask on the Benefits board. Most new claims for housing benefit are actually made by those in employment.

Perversely, the tax credit system can sometimes mean that a couple with a kid can be equally or better off with working in low paid employment just 24 hours between them than having the work twice the hours (because of child care costs, travel expenses to work, the entry into taxation, the steep withdrawal of benefits..). Play around with a benefits calculator and paye calculator to see what I mean.

Some councils operate deposit guarantee schemes for those in housing need/low incomes - see if your council does and if you meet the criteria for it (doubt it if you are in employment but you never know).

Look into joining a Credit Union - they offer loans to low income members, much better way of sorting out short term loans rather than payday loans, etc. This may be a way for you to get a deposit together for your own place, though you may have to be a member for a while with a history of saving to be granted a loan, but do check.

Look into Freecycle, Gumtree freebies and so on to get things for the baby.