How do I get my money back!!

MoneyMiser

Hi everyone,

Not sure if this is the right place for this post but here's my story.

A few years ago I lived with a friend of mine who encountered some money problems. Over the course of the year I lent him over £800 and never got it back. I send him text messages asking for it back or if we could set up some sort of monthly payment plan but I just get fobbed off all the time.

Now here's the catch, this guy is currently my supervisor at work so see him everyday and even go out drinking together. I hate asking for it face to face hence the text messages. I don't want us to fall out over this or cause trouble at work but I would also like my money back.

Any ideas on what I can do?

Dan_Thunder

Ask to speak to him either at lunchtime or directly after work. Tell him that you want to come to an arrangement for the repayment of the money you loaned him whether all at once or over a period of months. Of course, if you have no proof that you leant him the money then it could get tricky!

snowmaid

Lending money is the quickest way to break up relationships. It brings out the worst in people.

That said, the fact that he isn't making any attempts to pay you back is an indication that things may turn nasty. He is probably relying on your friendship to be delinquent. You will either have to let it go and keep your 'friendship' or you will have to put your foot down and risk being bullied out of your job!! You will have to face him head on, asking in a nice way first. Tell him you lent him the money in good faith on priviso he paid you back. You are now finding yourself short and would appreciate it if he started paying you back.

In future, make sure that any loans you make is recorded in writing and signed for by the person borrowing it, doesn't matter who the person is.

Personally, I cannot understand how people, who borrow money from another and then not pay it back, can actually wake up and face themselves in mirror. To do this to a friend or family member is beyond contempt. It is basically theft as you are depriving the person, who trusted you enough to lend it to you in the first place, of their hard earned money, interest etc.

Good luck!

poe.tuesday

You have to speak to him and get your money back

be sympathethic to his situation but repeat that you want your money back, do not be fobed off, keep saying that you understand his situation however, you want your money back, keep on repeating this, do no go off course, do not let him change the subject. Go up to him and say:

'I need to have the money back that I lent you last year, can you tell me how you intend to repay me and when'

if he says he can't give you a date, ask him outright

'is it your intention to not repay me?'

this usually shocks them and hopefully he will say NO

If he does say No, then say:

'I thought not, so can we agree a repayment method now?'

If on the otherhand he's says YES , it is his in intention not to repay you, then at least you know where you stand and you wipe him from your memory

pinkshoes

Follow what poe tuesday says, but in addition have in your pocket a piece of paper with the amount he's borrowed and when, plus also have a valid reason of why you now NEED that £800 (i.e. dental treatment, loan to relative for deposit on house... ) because maybe that'll make him feel guilty.

Dan_Thunder

Al_Mac wrote: »

If he isn't going to pay, mention it to his manager, saying it would make it very difficult for you to work for and respect him as your supervisor. I'm sure is manager wouldn't be impressed with his lack of integrity.

Not sure that'd work as the issue is nothing to do with the workplace.

poe.tuesday

pinkshoes wrote: »

Follow what poe tuesday says, but in addition have in your pocket a piece of paper with the amount he's borrowed and when, plus also have a valid reason of why you now NEED that £800 (i.e. dental treatment, loan to relative for deposit on house... ) because maybe that'll make him feel guilty.

I would not do that personally, it just weakens the conversation and you will look like you are justifing why you want YOUR money back, it's your money and you want it back, you don't have to tell him why, that's irrelivant or make excusses why you want it back, the money is yours and you want it back, end of

Acc72

I have been in similar situations myself - firstly this person is not a real "friend", so don't worry about upsetting their feelings.

I also do not think that you need to justify why you want / need the money -it is your money and you want it to be repaid.

The polite but firm / direct approach face to face is probably the best course of action (although this may be incomfortable for both of you).

I would not invole your employers.

If this person then brings it into the workplace by making your life difficult then I would give them notification that if it continues then you will raise a greivance against him and the company, as you feel that this personal situation has affected his work.

MoneyMiser

You are all great!!

Thanks for all your advice and i'll let you no how I get on

Savvy_Sue

Al_Mac wrote: »

His supervisor has borrowed money from him. So yes it is to do with their working relationship.

If the money was borrowed before they started working together, then I'm not sure the employer would be that interested.

If, on the other hand, this happened AFTER they started working together, then I am sure it would be in breach of contract in some jobs I've had!

lil_me

A saying I have took on board after having a similar thing happen.

'If you lend a friend £10 and never see the friend or money again, it's been money well spent'