What do you expect your child to gain from their school?

SmallL

The only thing that didnt meet my expectations int he years i went to school was that i wasn't treated as an adult in sixth form.
I thought that sixth form were supposed to be treated with respect and looked up to by the younger kids (at least thats what i did).
I was so shocked that the staff treated us as a unit rather than individuals, for example if the common 'room' (which was actually 2 rooms with a door between them) was messy then we were ALL locked out. Even when it was always the same room out of the two and people told the staff who the offenders were, instead we were told we should clean up their mess ???!!!??
Teachers would force me to learn their way, when i wanted to make notes i wasn't allowed as i HAD to be looking at them. Which is ridiculous as i thought sixth form was to help you start learning independantly.
The icing on the cake was when i was bullied by much younger students, mainly on the bus home, the staff did nothing and i simply got off the bus halfway home one day and broke down in the rain.
Im glad my sixth form days are over.

pigpen

I think that is the way a lot of primary schools are going.. pushing parents out, locking children in and making it more like a prison camp than a school.. the children daren't speak to one another in case the other parents scream bullying, the staff don't know the children and the parents even less. It is like sending the children to prison every day. They are apathetic and lack lustre and learning very little. being totally excluded from seeing the teachers or the childrens work I cannot see any progress at all, their homework is stuff I would expect 2 or more years below to be doing.

The only thing anyone seems interested in is their next ofsted.. if they weren't so crap they wouldn't have to worry about it would they?

I have had 1 or more children at the primary since 1994 and is used to be one of the best in the city now it just can't be. My 2 little ones are going elsewhere.

susancs

gingin wrote: »

No and I've just had this exact conversation with my husband. I feel some loyalty to the school, I've been there virtually every day since 2004, I've had lots of great times, it's a place that socially I enjoy going to each day, it did so well by my son that I am stunned that I feel it is failing my daughter. So OH thinks it's not necessary to say anything and I tend to agree because that's the easy option but I am prepared to take advice on here if anyone thinks I should.

I did say to my husband whether I should sit down with the head and be frank but I'm not sure what that will achieve. I'm not a confrontational person, I know I can sit there and put my case across but really it come down to so many small niggly things that I could give him a list of about 20 issues and still not be finished and ten of them are probably related to the Head himself. Also I am not sure I want to be persuaded to stay. I know they will lose budget if leaves and it is already underfunded due to being a small school and class sizes not being filled ( I think there are currently 26 in DD's class).

If the school is undersubscibed, it is probably because it is not rated good by parents and in such circumstances a good Head Teacher should be sending out parental surveys asking for areas the school could improve on, holding a drop in see the Head Teacher weekly event e.g. between 2.30pm to 3.30pm on a Thursday each week for Parents to offer sugguestions that can go into the school improvement plan, coffee mornings etc. The fact he is not doing so, seems to indicate that he is not that interested in obtaining or acting on those who use the school view of the school, so it is likely your husband is right and there would be little to gain by expressing your views. I would probably agree that it may be time to look for another school and hopefully when you state that your child is leaving you will be asked for the reason, if they do not seek further details from you and take what you have said onboard , then you know that the school is not looking to improve and therfore not suitable for your child. If the shouting and belittling is part of the school culture than you may well find there will be many pupils leaving and looking for other school places, you are fortunate to have "insiders" knowledge from helping in the school so have a head start on finding a place for your child now, before other schools are over subscribed and cannot offer places to those leaving your child's present school.

fluffymuffy

gingin wrote: »

..
.. what do you expect them to gain from it?
Do you expect them to be treated as individuals, to be nurtured, to learn in a positive environment and where they can socialise too...?

I expect my DD to be happy and have friends.
I expect her to grow in confidence, and this be nurtured by the teachers.
I expect her to be treated as an individual and have a tailor-made plan for her education to support her strengths and address weaknesses.

I'm not in the least concerned about academic achievements.
I want her to leave school as a good person who is able to look back on a happy childhood.

The primary school she was at was deteriorating. Due to having much older children I had stood at those same school gates for 17 years. I watched the decline. The local secondary schools all seems to have problems, and so the decision was made at the end of year 5 to send DD to an independent non-selective all-girls school with small classes where they concentrate on happiness and personal development more than academic performance.

I know that's not an option for everyone (and it's a first for our family), but that style of education should be available to everyone. The key seems to be that there are not these hoops for the staff to jump through and targets to be achieved.

The other benefit, which I hadn't thought of, is that the school day runs from 8am to 6pm (with lots of meals and breaks) and there's no homework as it's all done at school.

Lunar_Eclipse

gingin wrote: »

Do you expect them to be treated as individuals, to be nurtured, to learn in a positive environment and where they can socialise too. Or am I just expecting too much?

Yes and no, but sadly it doesn't happen in many schools.

I expect the work to be at the right level for every child, or the school to tell the parents they can't educate their child well enough. Ha!

I can't say any more, I'm also at the end of my tether with schools and am pondering home schooling next. What I find bizarre is the number of parents who do accept mediocrity, on the basis that we can't expect more with class sizes of 30+. Well I disagree, but also start with a questioning of the class size.

gingin_2

fluffymuffy wrote: »

I know that's not an option for everyone (and it's a first for our family), but that style of education should be available to everyone. The key seems to be that there are not these hoops for the staff to jump through and targets to be achieved.

The other benefit, which I hadn't thought of, is that the school day runs from 8am to 6pm (with lots of meals and breaks) and there's no homework as it's all done at school.

I have thought about it. When the bullying was at it's worst just before christmas I had my real dark moment and thought about looking into private education and then on that very same day my husband lost his job (it's very economy driven) and I just knew the last thing he would want to talk about was paying £10- £14k a year ( the fees around here ) so I have left it.

I went to a private school and have really fond memories but in my adult life I feel it has served me no differently than if I had gone to a good state school and we do have good schools here, both state and private, it's just she's not at one.

balletshoes

gingin wrote: »

Thank you, we live in a very transient city, I would say each year there might be 3 new children per year, so for my daughter she is used to seeing children coming and going and is quite excited at the thought of being the new girl. She has one friend who also moved schools for similar reasons at this new school and the catchments are tiny so everyone lives within walking distance from both schools. We wouldn't be moving so she can keep in touch with her old friends and they will all meet up at High School (including the bullies pfft)anyway as both schools are feeder schools for the really excellent High School that we have.

Writing this down is very helpful!

that sounds really positive to me - I'd move her.

fluffymuffy

gingin wrote: »

I have thought about it. When the bullying was at it's worst just before christmas I had my real dark moment and thought about looking into private education and then on that very same day my husband lost his job (it's very economy driven) and I just knew the last thing he would want to talk about was paying £10- £14k a year ( the fees around here ) so I have left it.

I went to a private school and have really fond memories but in my adult life I feel it has served me no differently than if I had gone to a good state school and we do have good schools here, both state and private, it's just she's not at one.

My DD is "not academic" and we really felt that at a state secondary school she'd end up in the bottom class where she'd make friends with some types who'd lead her into a life of shoplifting and drugs before she's 16. She's currently very innocent (& easily lead), and very young for her age.

We are older parents and are able to pay for 6 years of school (but not the 6th form), but if we couldn't pay we'd not hesitate in selling the house. It wouldn't come to that as DD has older siblings who would be more than happy to chip in if needed.

fluffymuffy

Malcnascar wrote: »

If the school had a change of head resulting in indifferent education which impacted on your daughter who only has one chance at her eduction I would be suggesting you find another school

Not always that easy to do though. Where we live you have to send your child to the school in the catchment area you live in.

jellyhead

gingin wrote: »

I have already discussed it with a few school mum friends and I really don't feel awkward about it, there might be a small exodus as I know a few others are thinking of taking their children out, too.

Probably best to make the decision quick before the other schools don't have space for her!

Some of the things you and others have described are completely different to the school my 7 year old is at. It's in special measures but I'm happy with the school and parents get invited into meetings about how the school can improve. We get invited in to look at their school books every term too.

I briefly thought about home schooling when he was losing confidence in year 2, but his proper teacher came back (she was ill) and he got happier.

I suspect that teachers often put a well behaved child next to a challenging one, but if this is upsetting your daughter then it's worth talking to school, whether you are moving her or not. They need to think about your daughter's personality and happiness too, and if she's hating being between them then they should shift at least one of them.