Possible wedding bells but now i'm panicking!

clairemosa

They say that panicking won't be of any help. Speaking out of what you think and feel would help you feel better, think and plan better.

LondonDreamer

sterl1ng wrote: »

I looked this up online the other day, its £35 per person then £45 for ceremony at registry office. we have to give 15 days notice too before we can wed. As much as I'd love for us really to both just go to gretna green and elope I know my parents and siblings would be really upset with me so I'm having to consider that too.

DH and I eloped. Thought we'd never hear the end of it from some members of the family, but no one had an issue. If anything, a few that had been "forced" into having big weddings were jealous! Have noticed that since then, the weddings in the family have been much more low key. Registry and out for a nice meal kind of deals, rather than the remortgage the house just to pay for the venue (I'm not kidding - they're still in debt now, two years after getting divorced!) affair that was a few months before our wedding.

Tish_P wrote: »

Go on holiday somewhere with suitably lax laws, get married there, then claim it was a spur of the moment thing and you didn't want to wait another minute. Send happy photos to everyone, so they can't complain without looking like miserable sourpusses. Some friends of mine with difficult families did that and it worked a treat.

That's what we did. It actually was kind of spur of the moment in that we only planned it a week before, although we'd been engaged for months and were starting to think about what kind of wedding to have. But end of the day, neither of us cared about the "big day" - we just wanted to be married. So eloping made the most sense to us.

Got a great last minute deal on the flights and hotel too. :money:

surfboard2

GlasweJen wrote: »

I'm getting married abroad, that way I can invite extended family knowing that they won't shell out to come!

LOL, i love this idea.

GlasweJen

Simply tash, it sounds harsh but my family is huge (4 siblings, 8 pairs of aunts and uncles, 1 set of grandparents left, 2 sibling in laws, 1 sibling partner, 3 nieces and then there's 20 odd cousins, 15 of them are paired off, mums cousins (5) plus their partners, kids and kids partners, great aunts and uncles and the list goes on!). My sisters "nice quiet wedding" had over 200 guests and they were all related or dating/married to a related person - it was mental. Lots of "if you're inviting Jean you have to invite Harris, Willow and the dog" sort of arguments and I can't be bothered with it.

That and at the last family even my uncle thought I was my brothers date! I mean it's not like the wheelchair is a give away or anything is it!

Teeniepops

sterl1ng wrote: »

I looked this up online the other day, its £35 per person then £45 for ceremony at registry office. we have to give 15 days notice too before we can wed. As much as I'd love for us really to both just go to gretna green and elope I know my parents and siblings would be really upset with me so I'm having to consider that too.

Just to know...Gretna Green isn't a cheap option. It's quite commercialised now (friends got married there).

At the end of the day, the aim is to get married and if you manage that the rest is extra and optional. DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO AND DON'T BE PRESSURED!

Honestly, as much as others may want this and that it is a day for you and your OH and it's easy for others to want certain things, but you're (I assume based on your post) paying for it. Regardless if they offer to pay, it's what you want. If that's a grand wedding, find. If it's a small wedding and meal, fine. So long as you are happy that's the main thing.

You and your OH may have different ideas but if you're able to compromise so both are happy, brill.

X

74jax

As you can see from my signature I'm very much for the marriage and not so much the wedding.

Everyone is different, but as long as you and your OH agree then whatever anyone else says is irrelevant.

Don't be bullied into inviting great aunt maud or guilt tripped into inviting the sister you can't stand.

I'm Irish and come for a HUGE family, of which I'm inviting 3 cousins of maybe a possible 35... shock horror how can I pick and choose? Because I can! I only speak to these 3 regularly and as for the others I doubt they even know the name of my OH.

Your OH is obviously open to discussion as he mentioned it first, so maybe have a chat about his ideal wedding, his ideal marriage and then talk about yours and what you can do to compromise (if you need to).

beedeedee

We slipped away quietly and got married in a registry office 40 years ago this year.
It has been the best decision we ever made. Many separate celebrations have been held since, with all family members being included at some time.
A Wedding Day is just that - a day.....a marriage is (hopefully) for years....

Gloomendoom

My first marriage was an elope job. Just the two of us plus two witnesses off the street. It caused a lot of upset within both our families. It was a very bad decision.

It was cheap though. If I remember correctly, it was £90 for the registrar and £10 each for the witnesses.