Both working FT with a little one...

lovecake

I know this is boring, but how about working out a cleaning schedule of 20mins every evening and just be more organised about it? There are loads of examples on Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/lauren_122/cleaning-schedules/

It would involve blitzing the house before hand as this is for upkeep/maintaining a clean house, but you'd be amazed how much time you waste if you dither about doing bits and pieces and then leave the bulk until the weekend. By having a schedule it means you will probably be able to have more time doing other things.

Why not try some batch cooking? On a Sat afternoon or Sunday spend a bit of time cooking up some pots of spag bol / chilli / stew / soup etc. and pop them in the freezer. Sure you might fancy a fresh stir-fry or something one or two nights, but at least 4 nights out of the week all you have to do is heat something up and that will save you a lot of time.

I agree with the suggestions of shopping online - once you have your regular items all saved then next time it takes minutes to do as you may only need to add a few specific bits on and having it delivered straight into your kitchen saves driving there, parking, dithering about lookiong at things you don't really need etc. :rotfl:I just get fresh bits that we need on my lunch break or on the way home like milk and bread etc. and everything else from the delivery lasts us for ages.

I know how you feel! Some times it just feels like the week is running away from you! And if you really feel you would benefit from a cleaner then go for it. Although my Sis had one for a while, but it didn't work becuase she actually had to tidy things away for the cleaner to be able to clean and she got sick of running around the night before the cleaner was due getting all the clutter away so the cleaner could actually get to things to clean them! :rotfl:

thunderbird

Could you combine the MIL visit with 'doing fun stuff'. So rather than wandering around the shops, you all go off to the park to feed the ducks/play in the play area/ go for a walk in the hills or woods or whatever it is you want to do?

Get up early for your runs - so you are not taking a chunk out of the day.

Eat simpler meals that don't take so long to prepare - starting dinner at 3pm is bonkers isn't it?!

Spendless

I'm an office temp, so I can go from being full-time at home to a stretch of full-time working within a day. I asked on here when I first started doing it, as I'd previously only worked part-time with a family and the common theme I found was to concentrate on the laundry and meal-times. I have found this advice invaluable, if I find myself overwhelmed I tackle one (or both) of these areas, I find anything else takes very little time to do, especially if you do it whilst going along.

thriftylass

Oh it's the same here. I'm up with the wee one at 7 and get him fed dressed, play with him and get him ready for when daddy get's down at 8:15 (don't say anything, this is a vast improvement to before we had DS when he wouldn't get up til 9:30 - flexi time at work). We leave the house at 8:30. We're all back in by 5:45. The wee one gets his tea, playtime, calm time and off to bed at 7. Then I start cooking, doing the washing, dishes, cat litter and whatever else I had planned (like tending to my plants etc). I fall into bed at 10, guess I could use an extra hour and stay up till 11. Or just get OH to help out more

I do my exercise at lunch time as I never found the time after work or on the weekends we do fun stuff mostly.

Mrs_Grey

I went part time after two years of doing that with a new baby. It was just too hard, we were so tired and I felt everyone else was having the fun with our little boy and not us. We were up by 6.00, out by 7.30 in a mad rush, drop baby off, work, run around in lunch hour, more work, pick baby up, make tea, bath baby, fall asleep putting baby to bed, start again. And the weekends were filled with the stuff that didn't get done in the week. I felt life was running away with us and fun was another 'job' that I had to add to the list.

So we sat down and went through the numbers and I got a part time job instead and came on here to work out how to manage with a lot less money. And we do and life is much better for us. I know it won't work for everyone but we shop cheaper at Aldi and Lidl, buy less clothes and stuff, go on holiday at friends houses or in caravan and have more fun because we have more time. I don't pay the cleaner or the gardener or the window cleaner any more and all that mounts up with the Tescos shopping and the petrol to work.

These are the best years, when the kids are small and want to spend time with you. If you can afford it I would say to ease up for a bit and enjoy the journey more. You can't get the time back with the kids but you can manage with less stuff.

maman

ddebski_us wrote: »

To be honest, when I think about it, I don't know where the time goes; we don't watch that much TV or whittle time away. By the time we've visited MIL on a weekend (can be a 4 hr visit) and been to the shops, done some exercise it's just gone.

Life just seems such a grind at times, we don't seem to get the time to have a day out etc. Perhaps we're just not good at time management, and DH is a bit obsessive with cleaning (easily takes an hour doing just the bathroom). Our house isn't that big either; we just don't seem to feel like we have a "rest".

xDx

I'm assuming DH is working all those hours because you need the money, otherwise I'd suggest that DH doesn't work all those evenings.

When DD was young, (instead of going for a 4 hour visit) I often used to drop her off with in-laws (or send her round with DH) and they'd have fun fussing over her (them) while I had some time to myself.

You haven't said what you'd think of as fun but surely if you planned a trip out one weekend your DH wouldn't say 'I've got to clean the bathroom first'. Talk to him about it.

fluffnutter

ddebski_us wrote: »

I'm not sure really, we get up and dressed, have breakfast, then we'll go round to MIL's and either take her out to the shops (just to get her out) and then have lunch with her - by the time we're home it's 3ish and then it's time to think about getting dinner and getting DD to bed. I suppose we usually watch TV on Saturday night or do some DIY.

Sunday we tend to finish whatever cleaning we haven't got done in the week (dusting/hoovering upstairs), I'll go for a run, have a shower then I do the ironing (2nd load of the week) and make Sunday dinner. Then get lunches ready for Monday, call my mother and then settle down for Sunday evening TV.

When I write it down, it doesn't sound like we do much. Maybe we just waste time! Maybe we need to get rid of the TV!

xDx

What do you think you should be doing? That sounds a perfectly reasonable weekend to me. Why do you think you're missing out? Just got to find the joy in the little things.

JodyBPM

Just a thought, but you mention that you do training for a marathon/ exercise, plus watching a bit of tv - surely these things are all "fun" activities to most people? So if you aren't enjoying your marathon training for example, then drop it and do something that you do enjoy/consider fun. Even the dog walking - presumably that's a pleasure not a chore?

Most people's lives once they have children become busy - I wouldn't say no fun, but certainly different fun. You swap nights out for picnics and spa days for days on the beach. You might just need to re-evaluate your "fun" activities a bit, and make sure that the leisure activities you are doing are ones you get enjoyment from..

And if you're feeling a bit like everyone has fun but you, don't worry - I'd say your lives sound just like every other family's. Just wait til your little one gets older and you spend every weekend driving them around to ballet lessons/riding lessons/gymnastics/birthday parties etc! In my experience the baby stage was the one where we had the most control over our time!

julie2710

I can definitely relate to the view that sometimes life gets in the way of living. Although my situation is slightly different to yours, I'm a full time working single parent with two boys of 7 & 4, in terms of finding time to do everything I have similar issues.

One thing I realised after about 12 months was to find things that I was doing that I didn't need to do. So my first confession is I only use an iron maybe once a month or when I need to iron name tags onto school uniforms. I dry washing outside, fold tops and trousers nice and flat and put them neatly away. I've never had a problem with things looking untidy, although possibly your OHs shirts would still need ironing but definitely a job for after children's bedtime in front of the tv. I no longer clean all my house on a daily basis. Bathroom and kitchen is cleaned daily, the rest on a weekly basis. Everyone who visits always says how clean and tidy it is with two boys and a dog and we have cream carpets so must be ok! One thing I've found my boys love is helping with chores! For me it's a pain clearing out a cupboard or dusting or putting on the washing. For my boys it's fun! They love being helpful so I get them to help. End result is that both my boys can sort washing into darks and lights and put the washing machine on! Same with dusting, cleaning, washing up and baking. They get their own breakfast bowls etc out, lay the table. Perfect future husband material
I think what a previous poster said about rethinking what you think is fun is so important. The day I realised this was when I had taken my DS1, then 4, to Legoland. My idea of fun was to run around the park getting on as many rides as possible during the day to get my money's worth, so imagine how I felt after being stood looking at a Lego duck for 40 minutes :eek: Then it hit me! To my four year old that was fun and I had taken him there to enjoy himself!
Good luck and trust me we are all the same and all so envious of everyone else's exciting lives

Flora_Poste

I agree with the easing up on yourself. if you can't cut your hours back, you need to cut out some of the less important stuff and focus on what makes you happier. Less cleaning and more fun things.