Both working FT with a little one...

ddebski_us

.... how do other families manage with time?

I work 37.5hrs a week, leaving the house at 7:30 and getting home at 5:30 and DH works 36 hrs a week, leaving the house at 6:30 and gets home to pick up DD from childminders at 4 3 days a week (we stagger our hours to minimise her time at CM and the cost), then looks after DD on Thursday, working 4hrs Thursday night, 5hrs Friday and 2hrs on a Monday night.

On the face of it, it may seem we have loads of spare time, but with the cleaning & chores, dog walking, spending time with DD each evening and me starting my training for a marathon, we seem constantly pushed for time. We never seem to have time to do anything fun, even at the weekend.

We must be doing something wrong - how does everyone else manage? I am trying to convince DH to get a cleaner in, even if just every fortnight, to give us more time to ourselves.

xDx

fluffnutter

Life is busy, that's a fact for most working parents. It's about prioritising and letting go of things that aren't actually all that important. Clearly dog walking and playing with your daughter are non-negotiable. I'd argue that training for a marathon is a good thing to do too - you need time to yourself and what better way than to combine that with some exercise.

So look at 'cleaning and chores'. What does this mean? How much time precisely do you spend doing chores, and what do these entail? Are you putting undue pressure on yourself? What do you do in the evening once your daughter's in bed? Are you endlessly cleaning? Or are you sitting staring at the telly? Neither are great ways to spend your time.

Also, what do you mean by fun? There are ways of assimilating the stuff you have to do into the stuff you want to do so that it doesn't feel like an endless slog. What expectations do you actually have of what a 'fun' weekend is?

Ginger_Poodle

CLEANER!!!!

I work full time, husband full time (and away c.3 days a week) and we have a young child. I have managed my work pattern as well as I can to minimise time in afterschool care. There is only so much that effective time management can achieve - sometimes you simply need another pair of hands.

We also sometimes need to make time for fun activities, even if it is at the expense of a necessary task. You ring fence time for the dull stuff, so why not do it for the fun stuff too? Finally, would say that you could also try to put a spin on the dukk stuff. My daughter is older, but we try to combine dull with good (eg dog walking/visit to the play park) to keep her interested and upbeat.

And it does get easier...

kj*daisy

Cleaner - if you can afford it, do it. I only work part time and have one, its my luxury as I don't spend elsewhere.

thunderbird

What exactly are you doing all weekend that means you don't have time for 'fun'? do you have a huge house that needs so much cleaning or are you really messy/dirty people?!

ddebski_us

To be honest, when I think about it, I don't know where the time goes; we don't watch that much TV or whittle time away. By the time we've visited MIL on a weekend (can be a 4 hr visit) and been to the shops, done some exercise it's just gone.

Life just seems such a grind at times, we don't seem to get the time to have a day out etc. Perhaps we're just not good at time management, and DH is a bit obsessive with cleaning (easily takes an hour doing just the bathroom). Our house isn't that big either; we just don't seem to feel like we have a "rest".

xDx

SandC

One of the ladies at work has started doing shopping in the morning on the way in and stashing it in the fridge - trying to get away from the 'big weekly shop' which ends up happening at the weekend. With so many supermarkets open 24 hours it can end up saving you loads of time to shop small and often, when you are on your own and can do it quickly.

Dunroamin

OP, you don't mention doing anything at the weekend (obviously, apart from playing with child and dog); what do you do then?

greathat

shop online? i use tesco and can just click through in 5 minutes

thunderbird

Would definitely recommend doing all shopping online and get groceries delivered on a weekday evening when you will be home anyway, so it doesn't affect any other plans. No need for shop visits at the weekend, unless you actually enjoying doing that?

I always find the winter feels like there isn't so much time - with daylight hours being so short. Always feels better come Spring/Summer.

If there is only 3 of you in a smallish house and you are out most of the time weekdays, then cleaning up as you go along should cover most of it. Although sounds like your oh needs to address his obsssive cleaning...

ddebski_us

Dunroamin wrote: »

OP, you don't mention doing anything at the weekend (obviously, apart from playing with child and dog); what do you do then?

I'm not sure really, we get up and dressed, have breakfast, then we'll go round to MIL's and either take her out to the shops (just to get her out) and then have lunch with her - by the time we're home it's 3ish and then it's time to think about getting dinner and getting DD to bed. I suppose we usually watch TV on Saturday night or do some DIY.

Sunday we tend to finish whatever cleaning we haven't got done in the week (dusting/hoovering upstairs), I'll go for a run, have a shower then I do the ironing (2nd load of the week) and make Sunday dinner. Then get lunches ready for Monday, call my mother and then settle down for Sunday evening TV.

When I write it down, it doesn't sound like we do much. Maybe we just waste time! Maybe we need to get rid of the TV!

xDx