Nightmare

agrinnall

I doubt whether there's enough evidence for her to take you to court, so it comes down to a moral question: did you benefit from the purchases she made using her credit card? If you did then you have to decide whether you feel it's right for you to walk away from that, or whether you feel obligated to contribute. No doubt her attitude will have had some effect on your position.

Dabooka

agrinnall wrote: »

I doubt whether there's enough evidence for her to take you to court, so it comes down to a moral question: did you benefit from the purchases she made using her credit card? If you did then you have to decide whether you feel it's right for you to walk away from that, or whether you feel obligated to contribute. No doubt her attitude will have had some effect on your position.

Spot on.

There are frequent posts on here regarding the situation the other way around; "my partner refuses to pay off half of my CC, what can I do to get it back" with the typical answer being "not a lot".

Seems to be something here where you acknowldge the moral obligation not the legal one. The legalities are that'd be difficult for her to get much from you, but if you want it drawing to a close and you feel obligated, then come to some agreement.

Only if you choose not to would the 'harrassment and threats' be an issue. You really need to let us know what you want to do.

discojohnno

i feel that she is trying to claim for stuff now that neither of us own as she sold everything in the house to her new tenants whether that was food/furniture i came out of the relationship with my cloths..

i do not believe i owe her any money and do not plan on paying her any money

but i dont think she will let this lie.. she has been bought up in a way where money is very important.. our last communication was she asked for my tel number and address which i supplied her and she said she has now passed this onto someone else to deal with it as its to stressful as she has some other issues to deal with and that they will call me !!

bargainbetty

If you do not wish to make any further contribution to the debt, then send her a formal letter stating that. Do it by email and send a hard copy by recorded delivery.

State that you consider that, as you were in a relationship at the time, the help she offered was a gift at the time, and that you have paid back the sums you consider reasonable towards the living expenses incurred during your period of unemployment. Note that you paid your share of living expenses while you were in work. State that you will make no further contributions towards her legal debts, and there is no obligation under law for you to do so. The payments you made last year were done out of goodwill, and you have no cause to consider further payments are necessary.

As far as you are concerned, the matter is settled, unless and until she can provide evidence of any further agreeement to contribute towards her legal debts. Request that all communication from her on this matter should only be in writing. Don't take her calls, and print out anything she sends via email or social media.

You could consider adding a paragraph that suggests that some of her comments, such as 'getting someone to sort it out' could easily be interpreted as threats. Any such comments, whether in emails, texts or calls will be recorded and passed to the police if she continues to harass you.

This is an awkward one. Forgive me, but we do see a lot of people coming on here saying that they have helped people out and then the person has refused to pay up. We see it a lot. My advice is based on the fact that you did give her your fair share, as and when you were able.

If you feel in your heart that you do owe her money, then work out a fair figure and offer it to her. Do it in writing, and include the bit about threats. If you've paid all you owe, then cut it dead, and let her know you aren't going to be messed about.

discojohnno

Thank you everyone for the excellent advice, very much appriciated

discojohnno

she has now confirmed that she is taking me to a small claims court i should be something soon also not sure this is revelent but i was declared bankrupt in 2009.

chris-j

Unless Judge Judy is on the bench she is whistling in the wind.
No way a small claims court is going to set a precedent like that.