Nightmare

discojohnno

Good Afternoon All.

I am hoping to get some advice on a delicate issue with my ex partner

I was with my ex partner for 6 years when we where together she paid off a loan for me, which i have paid back recently, however she also thinks that i need to give her half of what is owed on her credit and store cards for while we where together. as for a while why we where together i was out of work and we had to use the her cards for shopping etc

this has been going on for a few years and its stressing me out, i had to get the police involved 2 years ago as her partner was send things etc regarding the money, in the end because of being scared i agreed to pay a small amount each month, but i have not paid anything for over 6 months and she says she is getting someone to sort it out (there is no signed agreement or anything just emails to a frow.

Apologies for my grammar i struggle with writing things down
i hope someone can offer me some advice as it is rally stressing me out and cannot move on

Kind Regards

Disco Johnno

Tixy

What do the emails say? have you stated in any email that you agree you owe her money, that you agreed you would pay towards the debt etc?

If there is no evidence that there was ever any agreement or acknowledgement from you that you would pay her back for anything then she will likely struggle to take court action against you. If there was email evidence and tried to take court action then the judge would likely take these in to account.

When she said to you

she is getting someone to sort it out

do you think she was likely meaning court action? Or could she have meant it as a threat to you?

stephane_2

If the credit card is in her name then she is now fully responsible for the debt.....now wether you decide to pay some of it or not because you've spent some of her money is now up to you, she cannot force you to pay up and she cannot do anything much about it.....

michaels

Obviously there is the legal arguement but there is also a moral one - if it were the other way round would you think she owed you the money or would you consider that it was a 'gift' at the time?

alwaystryyourbest

Don't pay her any more money it's her credit card, her bill....

Paul_01

alwaystryyourbest wrote: »

Don't pay her any more money it's her credit card, her bill....

Not necessarily. OP mentions email exchanges admitting some sort of liability. This could well be enough if the ex takes him to small claims court.

The main issue for me though is to ask yourself whether you should be contributing or not. If she supported you whilst you didn't have much of an income then it seems fair to suggest you owe her something.

If you don't feel that you owe her, then say so and it's up to her whether she chooses to take you to court. If she does, then don't get stressed about it, just come back here and ask for further advice.

discojohnno

thanks for the reply guys, i have said to her if she believe i owe her the money to take me to court, i'm not sure if that's what she is doing. she just said someone will be contacting me she wont let this matter lie, its difficult she is claiming for stuff that where put on cards when she bought her house furniture etc and shopping and i contributed (rent) each month as it was her house and when i was out of work she backdated the rent she has now moved out the house and is renting to someone else and sold everything that was in there

Willing2Learn

Hi,

If the communication from your ex-partner (and her new partner) have been threatening and has caused harassment, alarm or distress then you should make an official complaint to the police.

If that is the case, any copies of letters, emails, voicemail messages, SMS etc would be helpful as it would provide evidence to support your allegations. Otherwise it would only be your word against that of your partner (and her new partner).

discojohnno

The harrasment was deal with the police over 2 years ago.. nothing is nasty now she just wants me to pay half off the cards etc

InsideInsurance

If there are threats of violence etc then this is a separate matter to the debt and one for the police to deal with especially if there was any form of caution from the last series of incidents.

Generally with unmarried couples then whats in whos name does 95% of the settlement however courts do accept that sometimes people contribute without it actually being in their name. Normally this is in the positive (ie house is in one party's name but the other party pays half the mortgage) but I would suspect that it would apply to the negative cases too.

As others have said, the credit card company will pursue her alone as thats who they are in a contract with but your ex may well have a case against yourself to recover part of it from you afterwards.

Willing2Learn

discojohnno wrote: »

The harrasment was deal with the police over 2 years ago.. nothing is nasty now she just wants me to pay half off the cards etc

discojohnno wrote: »

...in the end because of being scared i agreed to pay a small amount each month

From the second quote above, it could be argued that you only came to an arrangement as a direct result of threats causing you harassment, alarm or distress. That you were in fear of coming to harm, that you agreed under duress and unreasonable pressure.