A 2 yr old and a newborn - how to make it work?

flower_72

I have a 2 year old and am also about to give birth to our second child.
I have a routine with my 2yr old that works really well at night time but that is also very time consuming. I would say, from 7pm to 8pm, I am constantly busy with her.

I am on my own most of the time, my husband is away for over half a month, every month so the evenings are for me to deal with alone. That has been perfectly fine for the past 2 years with just one child. But with 2 and in the first few weeks? It's likely that I will be on my own with the 2 kids as soon as I come back from the hospital.

I intend to breastfeed and remembering what it was like with the 1st child, it is rather time consuming too, especially at in the first days/ weeks.

If you have been in that situation, how did you organise yourselves? Any tips? Anything I should start implementing with my 2yr old?

I'm sure, it'll work out in the end but f anyone could give me some advice to make it easier, I would be so grateful!
Thank you

LandyAndy

I was away for three months when my two sons were just 2 and 6 months. MrsLA coped with it and held down a full time job, so it can be done.

Although, being a man, I don't have any actual advice;).

Good luck.

pigpen

You manage because you have no choice. I have 13 months between my 2 littlest and spent 4 months on crutches and had a section as well.. I also have 6 older children at home who are about as much use as wet kippers.

Maybe try cutting down the bedtime routine a little.. the 2 can be bathed together, dry baby in the bathroom and they wiggle on the floor in just a nappy while you dry and pj the older one.. Get bedtime snack and drink ready for older one while the bath is running so they can consume that while you dress the baby for bed.

Feeds.. you get a story book and all 3 sit together for cuddles and read.. make sure you have the tv remote, juice for you both and a box of toys out.. make sure you are all shut in one room and the older one cannot go walkabout around the house.. they get up to all manner of mischief.

Our favourite game at the moment is '2 babies'... they both come sit with me for cuddles and I have 2 babies.. it saves a lot of jealousy.

Don't forget big cuddles when baby is asleep.. no rushing about cleaning and washing.. use that time to fuss the older child.

Lozzy88

pigpen wrote: »

Don't forget big cuddles when baby is asleep.. no rushing about cleaning and washing.. use that time to fuss the older child.

This is the best advice

I had never mastered a bedtime routine before the kids (4 and 1) just usually flake out on the sofa at some point during the evening.

When number3 came and the other two were both still awake gone midnight I have had to start one which I must say is the best thing I have ever done so huge well done to you for already having one.

Just try and keep your first childs routine as much as humanly possible.

I have a bit of a problem tho my 1 year old loves to run over to the baby and give him a "cuggle" as soon as I put him in his baby swing, am scared he is going to head butt the baby as ds1 is a huge lad! So far tho no injuries I think am just being overly worried.

sassyblue

First OP, congratulations! I would say go easy on yourself for the first three months or however long it takes for the new baby to get into a proper routine where they sleep through the night.

Keep aiming to get everything done as you are doing now and you will get there one day.

Use the time when you're breastfeeding the new baby to have one to one with your two year old, reading a book or just talking more.

As pigpen says, you manage because you have to, you'll probably find you'll be incredibly frustrated at times but it will pass, as l say be gentle on yourself, if something doesn't get done there's always tomorrow.

quinechinoise

I co-slept and tandem-nursed. I also kept up the toddler's daytime nap for longer than I would have (if I hadn't had a baby around). A large playpen is your friend.

If things get challenging... hold on to the thought that in a couple of years' time they'll be able to play together (i.e. amuse each other) and you'll be able to potter about doing chores, etc, without needing to hover over them constantly. Mine are 3 and 5 now.

babymonster2

flower72 are you me as an alter ego?! I also have a two year old and second one due, well a week ago! And an OH who although he doesn't work away often does 12/14 hour days.

I was planning on switching my day round t have cooked meal at lunch and then snack in the evening as remember that evenings were the worst for breastfeeding constantly with my first, and this way I may not starve.

I must admit I've been panicking about what to do with two but am guessing I was the same before I had my first as to how I'd cope so I guess pigpen is right and you just do!

Have you got any help? Does your eldest go to nursery at all to give you a break during the day or is it just the three of you home alone?

quinechinoise

Btw, if you choose to sit in the playpen yourself while the kids run around outside it... you won't be the first! lol Nah, they are good little things, really.

stiltwalker

quinechinoise wrote: »

Btw, if you choose to sit in the playpen yourself while the kids run around outside it... you won't be the first! lol Nah, they are good little things, really.

Apparently once I was too old for a play pen, my mother used to set the ironing board up in the playpen so she could iron in there and I would be safely away from the iron!! Now I've got 2 of my own I think she just wanted to be safely out of my way herself!! LOL

Metranil_Vavin

Great thread, I have a 2 year old and am expecting again in August and have been wondering what the best way to cope with it is!

Really good to read all the tips on here. I agree with those who say you will cope because you have to.

I am determined to try and keep my sons routines as normalised as possible as he sleeps really well and knows exactly what happens when during the evening bath/story/bed routine.

Dumyat

I didn't find it too much of a problem. As Pigpen says, its the older child who will need the most attention to adjust to the new dynamics. I found walks to park with baby in pram worked wonders. Housework can always wait. We kept to the toddler's normal day routine with out any issues.

Don't forget, second time round its easier. You're an expert now