Just told wife about debts

poledancer49

I am so proud of you! Wish I had the guts to tell my husband.

Treadmill

You Sir are a better man than me, I have never told my wife about my gambling problem, She knows about our debt though so I guess it's really horrible of me as she probably thinks she is half to blame when she really is not.

I currently am not gambling so am managing to pay off debts but back last summer when I fell off the gambling Wagon and lost thousands on Euro 2012 and then horses trying to recoup my losses things got really desperate. I was into Wonga for about £1300 had all my cards maxed and was over my overdrafts, it was awful. Fortunately in my case I earn £60k plus so once I stopped again I was able to get myself out of trouble.

The sad thing is though over the years I have debt spent so much money on gambling and consequent debt repayments our lifestyle is no better than it was 15 years ago when I was on 12k.

It's great to hear of someone fighting addiction and winning :-) well done Sir.

eyeopener2

Brilliant! Your wife will be fine once she comes to terms with everything. mine was more upset that I hadn't confided in her and asked for help.

the one thing you've done is to get help, that's all anybody asks in a situation like this. your showing you want to change. Keep at GA, or if it's not for you find other self help groups. I find online forums ace for my particular vice (alcohol) but you use whatever works.

here's to the first day of the rest of your life and its much better than yesterday.

Petlamb

Well done, you did a tough thing but definitely the right thing

I wish you the very best of luck with getting things paid off

bubblebath_2

arab9893 wrote: »

Hi there,

I posted last week for the first time. My story is that I have £25,000 in credit card debt, caused by overspending and then a gambling problem.

I was £28k in debt when enough was enough. I have stopped gambling and have been managing to pay off £400 per month and have got it down to £25k. The worst part of it however was not telling my wife about all of this. It has been making me sick, I'm not eating properly and losing lots of sleep.

So after another sleepless night, I got to work this morning and was physically sick again through worrying. I said I had to go home, jumped in the car and got home and told her everything. I cried, she cried. But as everyone advised me on here, I think I have done the right thing. I thought she would throw me out, she might do yet for all I know.

However we have 2 small kids and I know I have done the right thing telling her. I am going to go to Gamblers Anonymous, even though I never want to gamble again in my life. But my wife and kids are everything to me and I will do whatever I can not to lose them. I WILL pay off my debt!!!

Anyway this post was to say thank you to the people who told me that coming clean was the best option. It wasn;t an option to me about a week ago.

Thanks

So pleased for you buddy.

I hope you feel like a tonne of weight has been lifted from your chest and best of luck with GA.

Verbatim

ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

Just to let you know that there's a thread on here that might help

arab9893

Hi everyone,

Thanks for all the support.

Yesterday was probably the toughest day of my life. After we had got the kids off to bed, we had another long chat. To be honest I think my wife wanted us to split as she had worked out yesterday that she could still afford to live on her own and look after the kids out of her own wage.

But after much shouting and crying, I managed to show her that I've excluded myself from all gambling sites. She saw every bank statement and credit card statement, and I showed that I have been trying to pay the debt off. We're going to give it a go, it'll probably take 5 years to pay off my debt at £400 a month, and I basically won;t have any spending money for 5 years. I don;t care about that though.

Even though it was one of the toughest, in a strange kind of way it was one of the best days of my life too. I'm no longer gambling. I don;t care what the football scores are today. I've got my life back. A massive weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.

Not sure about Gamblers Anonymous. We sat down and looked at the website for a bit last night but not sure if that's really what I need. I've booked an appointment with my doctor for this week and will discuss with him.

Thanks again folks. If I hadn't registered on here last week I don't think I would be in this position. Just seeing so many other people that are in the same position as me has helped a lot, and the support has been fantastic.

Clipper235

arab9893

Reading your post just amazed me. You were practically talking about me!

In November last year I finally told my missus about my debt. £35K:mad:

Most of this has been living beyond my means but over the last 2 years I have been trying to beat the bookies and win the money so I wouldnt have to tell her.

I reckon of the £35K of cc debt £16K of it is due to gambling.

I gave up gambling on 26 October when my daughter was born.

I havent told the missus about the gambling as the shame of the debt is bad enough.

She has been amazing. With her help I have got a £24K loan from halifax over 5 years and the rest of the debt she paid off with her savings. I have paid off all my cards and cut them up, apart from one which she has hidden. My overdraft is paid off and reduced to £200 max.

I wont go into details but the next 8 months will be the most difficult financially but after that things should become easier.

What I will say to you is that you will have bad days, as will your wife, but you need to keep talking to her and the next day she will be fine again.

I dont need GA as I was purely trying to win money to pay off the debts, and I am feeling a lot happier without the gambling.

Its all down to personal preference, but if you feel you do need to go then make sure you go to a few meetings not just one.

I feel like I have been given a second chance in life and intend to grab it with both hands.

All the best mate.:beer:

Muhren

You have managed to get over the first an arguably hardest hurdle and sound like you are doing the right things. From my experience so far, admittedly I am still in the very early stages, things are starting to get better.

Your doctor will be able to advise what is best for you. Keep us updated on your progress.

Thewoodman

well done arab9893 and clipper235

I too got myself in a mess with gambling and payday loans, all came to an end last october when i finally told the over half.

Not in your boys league but i spent a good 10 to 12 grand betting and paying the loans back.

Like i said in my old post last year telling her was the best thing i ever did, yes she wanted my balls in a mincer but after the initial fall out things have never been better.

The lies are the worst thing, money can be sorted, trust is much harder to sort out.

Am now having a full wage and money left at the end of the month for the first time in 3 years, no gambling since the 3rd of october 2012.....happy days

So once again well done lads for telling the other halfs its hard to admit you have been a d''k head, keep up the good work.