Just told wife about debts

arab9893

Hi there,

I posted last week for the first time. My story is that I have £25,000 in credit card debt, caused by overspending and then a gambling problem.

I was £28k in debt when enough was enough. I have stopped gambling and have been managing to pay off £400 per month and have got it down to £25k. The worst part of it however was not telling my wife about all of this. It has been making me sick, I'm not eating properly and losing lots of sleep.

So after another sleepless night, I got to work this morning and was physically sick again through worrying. I said I had to go home, jumped in the car and got home and told her everything. I cried, she cried. But as everyone advised me on here, I think I have done the right thing. I thought she would throw me out, she might do yet for all I know.

However we have 2 small kids and I know I have done the right thing telling her. I am going to go to Gamblers Anonymous, even though I never want to gamble again in my life. But my wife and kids are everything to me and I will do whatever I can not to lose them. I WILL pay off my debt!!!

Anyway this post was to say thank you to the people who told me that coming clean was the best option. It wasn;t an option to me about a week ago.

Thanks

RonniesMummy

arab9893 wrote: »

Hi there,

I posted last week for the first time. My story is that I have £25,000 in credit card debt, caused by overspending and then a gambling problem.

I was £28k in debt when enough was enough. I have stopped gambling and have been managing to pay off £400 per month and have got it down to £25k. The worst part of it however was not telling my wife about all of this. It has been making me sick, I'm not eating properly and losing lots of sleep.

So after another sleepless night, I got to work this morning and was physically sick again through worrying. I said I had to go home, jumped in the car and got home and told her everything. I cried, she cried. But as everyone advised me on here, I think I have done the right thing. I thought she would throw me out, she might do yet for all I know.

However we have 2 small kids and I know I have done the right thing telling her. I am going to go to Gamblers Anonymous, even though I never want to gamble again in my life. But my wife and kids are everything to me and I will do whatever I can not to lose them. I WILL pay off my debt!!!

Anyway this post was to say thank you to the people who told me that coming clean was the best option. It wasn;t an option to me about a week ago.

Thanks

Well done!

You have done a very brave thing, it is hard to come clean, but that's the first hardest step and now you can work towards getting debt free, best of luck!

The_Hurricane

Good luck friend. Personally I think you're a very rich man to have a loving wife and kids, put them 1st and everything else will sort itself out.

Michelin

Well done. You have faced up to two big things - being in debt and admitting you have a gambling problem. Wishing all the best as you start the journey to being debt free.

Hezzawithkids

You are a brave man, well done you. I think you'll find that fessing up is the biggest step you can take to dealing with your problems and now that your wife knows you can work on it together, rather than trying to cope alone.

Keeping everything crossed for you!

jaxsmar

Nice of you to keep us updated.. so glad you told your wife hopefully you can now start living your life. I'ts not going to be easy but look how far you have already come.

arab9893

Thanks folks,

I know I have done the right thing, however feel absolutely ashamed and disgusted with myself. Mainly for all the hiding debt and lying that I;ve done over the last few years.

But everything just spiralled out of control and I thought trying to sort it out myself was the way forward. Hopefully my wife can see it the same way. I have a lot of work to do to regain her trust.

We'll see how it goes.

Nickyj

You have made a step in the right direction so well done, I'm sure you feel like a weight has been lifted by coming clean. I was in your position, not through gambling but by being a shopaholic and felt better when my OH found out. I'm debt free now and if I can do it, you can. You can both work through this and I wish you all the luck in the world X

mm070312

Just wanted to say well done for coming clean. It's the hardest thing ever to do because you worry you're going to lose all that matters. The feelings of shame, guilt and just crappyness hurt but they do pass. I beat myself up a lot about it but in the end you get to a point where you just get sick of that. It's a cliche but we all do make mistakes in our lifetime. I was in the same boat but it was drugs and trying to pretend that things weren't as tight as they were and then assuming I could just 'sort it out' that got me into my mess. It never happens and coming clean is the best thing you can do and then you can start tackling it all. All the best and I hope things turn around for you soon.

Muhren

You have without doubt done the right thing in my opinion. My debts are solely down to gambling, I don't have a wife and kids but I had to tell my parents, which was very difficult but felt much better after the initial shame and self loathing for what I had done.

I know attend GA 3 or 4 times a week, I have found it a massive help to talk about it with people who understand my problem. I have been going (for my second stint) since the middle of December and now even enjoy going to the meetings, which when I first went back in the summer thought would be inconceivable!

Give GA a try, they will suggest you give it 90 days to see if it is for, it might take a while to settle into it but the proof of people who have been off for years will tell you they couldn't have done it without GA.

If you want to PM me and ask me anything feel free.

Perspective52

Oh my goodness, well done you! I wish you every bit of good luck for the future. You have done the right thing. Good on you :money: