Suspended During Grievance

FBaby

Don't resign. Go there, tell them you had time to think of the whole situation and you accept that you over reacted. Say that you have been stressed without realising how much it was affecting you. Say that you understand that they might find it hard to trust you now, but that you are prepared to work with them, that you love your job, that you appreciate they are a good employer. Say you would like to start again, that you will work on your attitude, and that if something is bothering you, you will try to resolve it first, but if it doesn't, you will come and speak to your boss.

You might be a very good worker and they might be keen to keep you if you can show that there will be no more tantrums.

Uncertain

FBaby wrote: »

I think you have a unrealistic view of employment rights. I don't mean to offend by saying this, I did too until a few years back when I had to fight for my rights within the organisation. Before that, I had no reason to do so, so had no need to be aware of rules, rights, laws etc...

What I can say is that you are imagining you have many more rights than you actually have and by doing so, you might indeed express a bit of attitude that those higher than you could have an issue with.

In regards to you having beant backwards, shown flexibility etc..., is something that they can choose to recognise...or not... They don't owe you to do so though. After all, you could be doing so as much, if no more, for yourself that the company. It might have allowed you to gain experience and better skill mix that would give you a better chance for a future job. You were not forced or imposed to do so.

I agree 100%, I know it sounds harsh but I think we are both singing the same tune.

kelly_borntoshop

FBaby wrote: »

I think you have a unrealistic view of employment rights. I don't mean to offend by saying this, I did too until a few years back when I had to fight for my rights within the organisation. Before that, I had no reason to do so, so had no need to be aware of rules, rights, laws etc...

What I can say is that you are imagining you have many more rights than you actually have and by doing so, you might indeed express a bit of attitude that those higher than you could have an issue with.

In regards to you having beant backwards, shown flexibility etc..., is something that they can choose to recognise...or not... They don't owe you to do so though. After all, you could be doing so as much, if no more, for yourself that the company. It might have allowed you to gain experience and better skill mix that would give you a better chance for a future job. You were not forced or imposed to do so.

If issues such as work overload, lack of support etc... become an issue, you are expected to do something professional about it, not just moan. You shouldn't wait for things to build up before putting a grievance. You should have done so months earlier, showing as little emotions as possible, just providing facts. As it is, you waiting for an emotional event to trigger everything else, and frankly, that shows a lack of control.

Could it be that you have been taking for granted your employer's flexible approach to you have having time off for children's related matter and you went too far? Did your daughter actually scarlet fever? Why did you react so highly when you were told you would have to take the time off holiday the following day when you didn't even know at this point that you would need to look at your daughter?

Again, I think stomping your feet then and calling the big boss because you were 'upset' lacks complete professionalism and I expect it is more your reaction to the whole issue than the actual issue itself that triggered them not wanting to have you back.

Humble pie? Yes, I do think you should. There is a lesson to learn here. Bosses are not like boyfriends. You can't go all emotional on them because you've had enough of their behaviour and what little event was the one too many and then blame it on hormones. Learm from it, remember to always keep things in writing, raise issues as soon as they occur, professionally by discussing it with your boss, followed by an official grievance once you've checked all policies and rights and you've given your boss acceptable time to do something about it.

I definately have a distorted view of my rights. I've never been in a position to have to look at them before and was under pressure to act quickly. yes it has showed unprofessionalism and lack of control. i lost my temper and went back into work after resigning to basically say hey - i have rights to prove a point. i felt like i had been tricked.

no my daughter didnt have scarlet fever but had the warning signs that didnt develop into a rash, she was particularly unwell. she is never unwell. to be fair, i didnt want to leave her. perhaps you could say i have took advantage of the childcare. when possible i bring my children in - if they are physically sick or have the runs there is a 48hr quarantine from child minders and school. i was off work a total of 5 days last childrens illness, i was never off ill myself always came into work. i blew as i felt she was taking back what i considered a benefit. yes it was a blow out over the whole rather than just the one issue. the overloaded work issue was raised long before now but wasnt addressed, i felt more like a school child being scholded for being moody than supported. but hey, they dont have to right?

i will learn from it, i am beginning to already. there has been some very bad moves on my part here - no policies to follow though. i took advice from acas which has probably made my situation far worse. still dont know what to do with this meeting or what to say. cant help but think it will be easier just to resign and leave it there.

Uncertain

kelly_borntoshop wrote: »

no my daughter didnt have scarlet fever but had the warning signs that didnt develop into a rash, she was particularly unwell. she is never unwell. to be fair, i didnt want to leave her. perhaps you could say i have took advantage of the childcare. when possible i bring my children in - if they are physically sick or have the runs there is a 48hr quarantine from child minders and school. i was off work a total of 5 days last childrens illness, i was never off ill myself always came into work. i blew as i felt she was taking back what i considered a benefit. yes it was a blow out over the whole rather than just the one issue. the overloaded work issue was raised long before now but wasnt addressed, i felt more like a school child being scholded for being moody than supported. but hey, they dont have to right?

Whilst many employers will happily allow that and more they don't have to. In most circumstances that could be argued to go beyond what the law allows.

Equally, an employer could quite reasonably expect such emergency leave to be shared equally between both parents.

kelly_borntoshop

my husband is in the armed forces and doesnt get statutory rights, he cant take the time off. see this is a tricky one again i mentioned this to him last night.

Uncertain

kelly_borntoshop wrote: »

my husband is in the armed forces and doesnt get statutory rights, he cant take the time off. see this is a tricky one again i mentioned this to him last night.

Again, strictly speaking, this is not your employer's problem. (You might need to double check this point if it becomes relevant but I'm 90% certain there is no special dispensation). I'm sure LazyDaisy will know.

You need to have a backup childcare arrangement. What would happen if the child was ill for two weeks or a month?

zzzLazyDaisy

FBaby wrote: »

Don't resign. Go there, tell them you had time to think of the whole situation and you accept that you over reacted. Say that you have been stressed without realising how much it was affecting you. Say that you understand that they might find it hard to trust you now, but that you are prepared to work with them, that you love your job, that you appreciate they are a good employer. Say you would like to start again, that you will work on your attitude, and that if something is bothering you, you will try to resolve it first, but if it doesn't, you will come and speak to your boss.

You might be a very good worker and they might be keen to keep you if you can show that there will be no more tantrums.

This is the best piece of advice you have had so far.

It IS hard raising a child on your own. No you might not be a 'single parent' .... but for practical day to day purposes, that is exactly where you find yourself. With all the responsibility, and having to juggle everything on your own. It is stressful, and no-one here is going to say any different.

How old is your child? If under 5 you have a right to parental leave. Here is some information:

https://www.gov.uk/parental-leave/entitlement

If over 5 you don't have any special right for time off other than emergency unpaid leave to sort something out (unless the child is disabled or was adopted when a toddler, for example).

Yes, that does leave you trying to juggle holidays and childcare arrangements. Your employer has been very good about this - over and beyond what was required of them.

But all is not lost. Now your are beginning to see the difference between what you are legally entitled to demand from your employer (which frankly is not a lot) and what you might be able to negotiate with a previously fairly accommodating employer (in employment law terms, even if it doesn't feel like it).

I suggest that you do not resign, but do as Fbaby says. They are probably at the end of their tether with you at the moment, but the situation may still be salvageable.

You won't know until you go in there and try and work it out.

On the issue of the meeting - you are entitled to be accompanied at the meeting. You said before that there is no-one at the company who can accompany you, but have you considered asking the factory manager? It is better to be accompanied if you can, because it tends to keep emotions in check (on both sides) when there is an independent witness present.

Dx

kelly_borntoshop

thats a very good point.

i dont think there are any provisions for army families.

maybe that is my bottom line. there is no one - really. as a back up source. perhaps my mother would take a week off but it couldnt cover a month, i have 2 children. when i went full time my mother told me this was a mistake, she said my part time job was better.

friends all work and have children, they wont want their children gettng ill.

Uncertain

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

How old is your child? If under 5 you have a right to parental leave. Here is some information:

https://www.gov.uk/parental-leave/entitlement

If over 5 you don't have any special right for time off other than emergency unpaid leave to sort something out (unless the child is disabled or was adopted when a toddler, for example).

I had assumed from the opening post that the child was over five "collected from school" but I maybe wrong?

kelly_borntoshop

i have 1 child who is 4 - 5 in March, and the other who is 7.